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My guy friend

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  loveslight 12 months ago.

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ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

Ok so I met my friend Hunter last summer when we both went to a YoungLife camp. We go to two different schools, and the schools shared a bus. Right when I got on, we became instant friends. He was pretending to sleep but smiling at me and making goofy faces. He has an amazing personality! He also always looked at me while talking to his friend, as if to include me. When his friend would say goofy things, he would look at me and give me weird-but-funny animated faces. I loved it! It was like an instant good friend to help you feel accepted. I don’t know how it happened, it was a little kindergarten where you’re automatically friends. We didn’t even have to talk that much. He seemed to like me.

Later, we watched a movie on the bus, and Hunter switched seats with his friend to be closer to mine. (I was across from them) He would slowly slide his foot over next to mine and then occasionally rub his over mine. His friend also dropped something once, so I picked it up for them. He held out his hand in a way so I could touch it. He did another funny face so I laughed a little. Not gonna lie, I think he liked that.

There were a ton of other signs that made me think he liked me once we got to camp. There was an activity where you had to go around linking elbows with someone and answer questions. We somehow always found each other and he seemed comfortable with me. There were also signs like; him staring at me and blushing, deep eye contact with a glint or sparkle in his eye. I also watched him and other kids from his school play Wiffleball with their leader I became friends with. Whenever he took his shirt off, He stand facing me so I could stare at him. I was on the bench alone at one point, and when he came, I could seeing him looking at the spot right next to me, but he didn’t sit down. After the game, I left to find my group. When his friend saw me walking, he got Hunter’s attention, they both turned their whole bodies to face me, and then they pretended to tie their bathing suit bottoms while playing with their shirts a little, flapping them up and down. Other examples were in the club room, he always made sure his group was somewhat by mine. When he was laughing and talking with his friends, he would look at me to include me. “Shut Up and Dance” was playing and when it said “this woman is my destiny”, I could feel him and his friends looking at me and smiling. When I looked up, He was still looking at me and his face was adorably red. It made me feel special. Sometimes they sat in the back, and when we stood up sometimes I could see the first place he looked was where I was. One day leaving the club room, he came right by me and brushed his body against mine. Another day leaving, him and his friends moved to get right behind me. Not sure if it was intentional or not, but he was literally walking on the back of my shoe. Someone said something funny and I laughed. They seemed to appreciate that. There were also activities like a square dancing party and a synchronizing swimming contest. During the square dance party, I was being spun and having a great time. He just made a deep, intense eye contact, like I was the one he wanted to dance with. Or like we both wanted to dance with each other. Then, during the swimming, his group did a dance and I was the first one he looked at to see if I was clapping. Once they were all playing soccer. Me and another girl joined them. Hunter was doing a fancy trick with the ball. When he saw me, he instantly blushed and turned red. He also kicked the ball to me, but was patient when I missed it. There were activities where we ended up standing next to each other, waiting for the dining hall to open. He would gently bump or brush his arm against me but it wasn’t inappropriate. Mostly, we just made a deep eye contact whenever we passed each other, but we didn’t say anything. I was too shy to say “Hi” till the last day. The day before the last day there was a campfire. He was talking to a girl from my group across from me. I wasn’t sure if he liked her, but he looked at me while talking to her over the fire and his whole face looked happy, maybe even smiling a little. There was a spark in his eye. Was it weird I considered him a friend even tho we didn’t really talk? Friendly or romantically, he always seemed to be looking out for me and making sure I was included.

On the bus ride home, he stood up to go somewhere. When he stood up, he pressed his leg very firmly against mine. He also asked to switch seats. When we did, he had his hand out so I had to put mine on his to get up. I didn’t see his reaction, but he seemed patient and didn’t pull away. Did he really like me or was this all in my head? I just remember it so clearly. I also got his Instagram and a couple days after messaged him to ask if he was coming to the camp reunion. He said it was just for my school and carried on a very good conversation. I’m not always good at those, so he helped me and his responses were long, like he actually wanted to talk. I asked him if he would want to hang out sometime then. He said he would be gone a lot but maybe when he’s back in two weeks and not working. After that, I tried messaging him but I think he deleted the picture we could chat on.

In November, YoungLife had their Fall weekend, so both Arrowhead and KM were there. I’m usually bad at reading people, but it seemed obvious he liked me; in the club room, his friends kept looking at me so I thought something was up. When were all sitting, I kept feeling him look at me and flip his hair, and he would adjust his body towards me. The guy was talking about friends and we looked at each other. One time we just sat there looking at each other and smiling; longer than I would with anyone else I think. Another time he looked at me, I stared back, then he looked away and mouthed the words “Wow.” I was also on the swings watching him and some of my other friends play Basketball. There was another boy who had his arm around Hunter. He looked very happy for some reason and looking in my direction; almost even exaggerating it. Hunter was laughing and blushing. He even looked at me for a long time. I looked away though. I was scared I was looking at him too much, and I think one of the leaders who is also my friend was teasing him too. I looked away cuz I thought they were going to be mean, or make me feel bad. Same thing when he was playing Hockey; he stared at me for a long time but I quickly looked away. Was that rude? Am I too quick to look away? His younger brother saw and raised his eyebrow at me, so I think he knew something. Then the next day at breakfast, I was at my table, he was at his. The speaker said something and then Hunter stared at me until I looked at him. He blushed adorably then. Do you think he still liked me in November? After that weekend, I sent him another message on Instagram saying it was nice to see him and asking if he want to hang out soon. I even suggested an activity. He didn’t respond to that so what does that mean? Did he never really like me? I just thought it was really cool how he was one of the first friends I made on the bus this summer. We seemed to have a good chemistry and connection; I felt like I always knew him.

Lastly, today at church I got the chance to talk with him. He was standing with his mom, and she introduced herself as Hunter’s mom, but for some reason, I didn’t introduce himself as his friend.
Would that have been ok and ok I didn’t? I’m honestly not sure if he still likes me. His mom was more talkative and he didn’t introduce me to her. Do you think he forgot my name? Haha we were both kinda waiting for him to introduce me. Was it bad he didn’t? He seemed a little more shy and quiet and I asked him if he got my message. He said he wasn’t sure but it said “seen.” He also said “I’m really busy now, especially with the holiday season, but maybe in the Spring.” Was he lying too? This summer he got his phone stolen, so I haven’t asked for a way to keep in touch since, besides Instagram. Do you girls think he ever had a crush on me, and if so, would he still, or even like me as a person? In church today, he looked at me a couple times and I noticed his face was a little pink. He also brushed his hair back with his hand, and he said something to his mom, and then she kept looking and smiling at me. What’s going on? Did I do something wrong? I want to fix any poor social skills on my part.

I’m sorry this is long. I just really don’t know what to do. I would like to continue this friendship but I don’t know how, or if he even wants to. The first week he came to my church, he kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye, and someone teased him, “Is that your girlfriend?” Thank you sooo much for all your help in advance! I just can’t forget all this. He was what made this summer and the fall great. I felt so safe whenever he was around.

December 13, 2015 at 18:39
ArtiseyDisneyGal

ArtiseyDisneyGal

Okay here it goes *deep breath*

So there is a chance he likes you but he seems like a guy who’s more flirtatious. Like the things that he did with all that physical contact was actually very inappropriate. For a christian guy and a christian girl they first become friends and usually stay that way for a while, and you’ll know who the right guy is by how he treats you and respects you. The fact that you guys like didn’t even talk makes me weary. Like do you like him as a person or like him for the attention? Thats a question I ask myself often, to set my mind straight and to make sure that I’m not doing it for the attention.
Okay and lets say he does indeed like you, you like him. And you start getting in a relationship.
1. The fact he was more shy around you when his mother around isn’t a good sign, I mean all the things he did at camp around you, would he do those things with his mother watching? Doubt it. He seems like the guy who would hide his relationship.
And 2. All that physical contact, even the slightest of it, leads to bigger things. And this seems like the thing that he went so into it without even knowing you isn’t a good sign. To me it seems like this things can lead up to you know what pretty fast. And it seems like something he’d openly do to any girl.
What I feel the Lord telling me is that you need to let him go. It seems like you are liking him because he’s giving you attention and not because of his personality or his walk with Christ.
I’m sorry for all this but I hope you see where I’m coming from.

-Love Hope

December 13, 2015 at 21:32
Project Inspired

chacogirl

first, LOVE YOUNGLIFE LOVE YL CAMP which camp did you go to? I went to Castaway.

Anyways, this kid is sending you such mixed messages! Boys are so confusing. My initial question is what type of boy is he? Like is he more of a popular gets all the girls or like a quiet boy, or something else?
This is definitely not advice you have to follow, but I feel like it might be good to just ask him. Like “do you want to be friends or not cuz like it seems like you do and then you do stuff that suggests otherwise.”
Its also possible that he’s just leading you on, which would suck. Boys definitely do that sometimes, and girls do too.
This whole situation honestly makes no sense though, I’m so sorry he’s doing this to you.

Also, since you care this much about it and its obvious you have thought about it a lot, it seems like you probably have feelings for him. I think you should try and evaluate those feelings and decide whether or not he’s worth pursuing. If not, it might be good to just let him go.

Take all of this or don’t, good luck!

December 14, 2015 at 04:40
Project Inspired

loveslight

I am really sorry to tell you but I am 100 percent convinced that this guy is playing with your feelings. He is flirting with you in a way that is really inappropriate at camp and then suddenly he doesn’t want to make much effort to talk to you? This guy is just leading you on. If he generally cared about you, he would not flirt with you. A real man will be very direct with his intentions. A real man would ask you out on a date quickly. This guy is just a boy- he is immature, ego-centered and does not care about your feelings.

How do I know? Because I had an experience with a guy that had similar attributes as your guy friend above. When I met him, I was very naive and had no experience with boys. This guy would hug me, look at me, flirt with me, do the same physical contact as that guy and even removed his shirt when I was around ( In the same way as you above). But again, we were friends and he would hang out nearly every day with me. It was only natural that I developed feelings. We were friends too- we had a deep connection and we would talk about nearly everything. I thought that God wanted us to be together and i thought he was godly towards Christ. This went on for six months and then he started acting more distant and so on. After a year, I told him how I felt and he said he never saw me in that way and he didn’t know- but he told me that his dad was making comments that i was interested in him…. I continued being his friend… and he stopped contacting me. Then, I discovered his true character.

I discovered that he had been leading other girls not just me, just to satisfy his ego and he would manipulate them and ditch them once they were interested in him. He also turned out to be very disrespectful to his own family and his godly facade- turned out he was legalistic, very judgemental and he was living at other people’s houses and he was eating their food/ sleeping there and he didn’t pay a dollar. I also learnt from other people that he knew exactly what he was doing ( flirting with me). Now I am so grateful that we were never in a relationship!! though it hurt me a lot, and I was depressed for three months. But then again, I realised that i wasn’t really in love with him- I just liked the attention that he was putting on me.

My advice, avoid this guy and cut him from your life. This guy is not a person who will stand with you all the days of the life. People like him are like leeches- they suck the life out of you! I don’t think he is worth pursuing and I think you can do better than that!!! Wait till you are older- and you will find a man of true character:)

I am sorry for saying this and I am sorry that this might hurt you :(, but I think this advice will benefit you in the long run.

December 14, 2015 at 12:18
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