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My lesbian friend wants me to be her girlfriend and won't leave me alone??

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk My lesbian friend wants me to be her girlfriend and won't leave me alone??

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  mkay77 1 year, 9 months ago.

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blonndie

blonndie

One of my friends recently came out as a lesbian to me, and told me that she wants me to be her girlfriend. She knows I’m straight, but even so, she acts different around me. She touches me more than necessary, and stares me down. When I come over, if we have a sleepover or something and we get changed, she’ll always tell me how beautiful i am and how she wishes she was a blonde and was as thin as me, and it gets a little frustrating tbh. I’m definitely straight and interested in a boy rn, and i don’t really feel comfortable with her acting this way towards me. i don’t judge her, i’m just not okay with her forcing that on me. the last thing i want to do is hurt her, or make her think i don’t like her being a lesbian or that i don’t accept her the way she is. Help??

February 20, 2015 at 10:56
chloe523

chloe523

I was actually in the same situation not too long ago. We are still friends now and things can get a little uncomfortable every once in a while because she does act a lot like the friend you are describing, but I’m not afraid to tell her “that’s enough”. If you feel uncomfortable, put your foot down. There’s no point in having a friendship if it’s awkward the whole time. I know that you don’t want to hurt her feelings but she shouldn’t be making you feel this way, or maybe she just doesn’t realize it, so you need to tell her. Also, when you do let her know, I wouldn’t accuse her of wanting to be your girlfriend if I were you. Yes, she said that before but that doesn’t mean she is still interested in you in that way. Don’t forget that girls are naturally much more touchy feely towards each other than guys are and girls give each other compliments all the time. A lot of girls just do that a lot whether they are straight or not. But you should still tell her when enough is enough. Good luck 🙂

February 21, 2015 at 04:38
marysetrueblood

marysetrueblood

I mean, some of the things you say she’s doing don’t necessarily seem like they’re bc she’s a lesbian (ie, Ive had straight girls tell me I’m pretty before, but also I compare myself to girls I wished I looked more like all the time, doesn’t mean I’d want to be with them). And may be in instance of your friend being a very insecure person who doesn’t have a lot of happiness with her own body.
However, that said, it doesn’t really matter WHY she’s doing it. If you’re made uncomfortable by someone commenting on you/your body or touching you, start by telling her–since she is your friend and hopefully more likely to respect you than a stranger–something like “Hey, can you not [do this thing] to me? It makes me feel pretty unfomcortable and I’d rather [have my space/it makes me feel too examined/I really don’t like it].” Or something along those lines.
MOST friends in general who respect your boundaries will be cool with it.
If not, really put your foot down. Tell her that it’s seriously a personal line you’re not good with people crossing. Your personal boundaries are important and insecurity or attraction are no reason to overlook them, fell stop

February 22, 2015 at 12:30
mkay77

mkay77

Just tell her you’re not interested! This is a totally different matter from sexuality; this is a matter of respecting each other! There’s no “easy” way to tell her “no”, but really there’s no other choice.

March 10, 2015 at 14:45
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