My family and I have been through a lot. And its gotten worse with my parents. When they ask me to do something, I do it, without complaining. And yet, they continue to yell and scream at me? I’m so confused, I’m not a horrible person, and get along with many people. I am very timid and shy around my parents, because I’m afraid of my dad getting abusive. They seem like their never satisfied with what I do? they never tell me how much they love me, or hug me or anything.I see all these other kids ( including my bff) with amazing parents, who love them, tell them these sweet things, and do acts of kindness showing their love for their children. I sometimes think I am being selfish for wanting these things, because I know their are tons of children in the world who have NOTHING, who are surrounded by their countries violence with no family, food, shelter, and water etc. My parents seem too involved with themselves. I feel like I’ve let them down as a daughter, especially my dad, because he has had the hardest life ever. I understand that people can often turn cold from a bad past. But I just am confused about my parents, they have everything they want in their lives. And I feel like I’m a bump in the road, that cannot be noticed or loved from my parents. Any advice? am I being selfish? Thanks in advance!
|October 21, 2012 at 17:27|
Welcome to my world, Kiddo. Instead of a figure associated with love and support, my mum has become someone who inspires nothing but anxiety, fear, and anger. She’s extremely verbally abusive and lectures me all the time about how I’m going to ruin my life if I don’t listen to (and follow) every single bit of advice she has to offer. She’s also a total narcissist who seems to think that every single thing I say or do is a deliberate effort to hurt her or make her look bad. She’s a bit of a bully because she only unleashes her diatribe when there’s no one around to stop her, and she likes to save the lectures for occasions like car rides (when you have nowhere to escape to). It’s actually gotten to the point where my husband and I agreed that minimal contact from now on is the best route–like, “Happy Birthday” and “Merry Christmas” minimal.
I don’t know what your home life is like, but if you’re comfortable in doing so, maybe try to reach out to them. Try to organize a safe, non-judgmental talk about your interactions; try to let them know how the yelling and apparent dissatisfaction with you makes you feel, and try to communicate your needs to them. If it’s too scary (I know it can be), maybe try to get a third party to help you guys talk it out–a pastor or a family counselor.
|October 21, 2012 at 18:31|
your not being selfish, my parents are exactly he same, i feel like i get lectures instead of love sometimes. i dont have very good advice for you, i stopped trying with my parents and focused everything on my friends and God. think of God as your real father, and your parents are just your parents on earth. now everyday i just go to my room and sit around, talk to people, pray, basically going anything away from them. and it works there starting to realize that i really dont have much respect for them. it may not be the best way to get there attention but it worked for me.
|October 21, 2012 at 21:49|
Jael915- wow, I’m really sorry to hear about that. And I’m glad that you’ve had the same thing happen. And the car rides -_- ik how those can be. haha Thank you!!
Heiseverywhere- I’m so sorry as well, to know that your going through the same thing. that was good advice actually, so thank you!
|October 22, 2012 at 05:35|
Yeah. We tried the third party thing with my mum, having the two of us sit down with a therapist, but it didn’t make any difference whatsoever. Apparently it’s never occurred to her that therapists tend to “side with me” because she’s wrong or a little nuts! :p
I mean, she was all manners and hugging at the office, but once we got home it was all back to normal.
|October 22, 2012 at 07:46|
Jael915- Dang! lol so many people think my parents are crazy, its really embarrassing -_- because its true haha. And yea ikr? they act all sweet in public then as soon as you get home, its like, welcome back to reality. Thanks again! <3
|October 22, 2012 at 09:13|
everyone thinks my parents are crazy too! haha its reediculioous. i got grounded for three weeks for “leaving the house without telling anyone” even though i left a note. and i only got grounded for a week for failing a drug test. my mom said “if you continue living like this, your going to be a druugie, a drunk and pregnant” even though, i dont drink or do drugs and im a virgin. lol just two more years.
|October 22, 2012 at 18:30|
Taylorswiftfan iv never been in a situation like this before but I’m totally here for you and I hope it gets better I’ll be praying for you!!!!!!((:
|November 1, 2012 at 11:34|
i kinda get it my dad use to be k like tht but its a super long story so hears the summary:
|November 2, 2012 at 19:24|
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