I grew up in church. I can’t remember a time when I have not gone to church through my 15 years of life. I live in a Christian home with conservative views. I was the girl who went to church every time the doors were opened. But, does that make me a Christian? No..absolutely not. I was really embarrassed to rededicate my life to Jesus because everyone in my church thinks so highly of me and thinks I am this wonderful Christian girl..but I am not. I faked it til I made it and I was so exhausting having to pretend that everything was okay when it truly wasn’t. I did not want people to think badly of me as does anyone else. But at this point Jesus was telling me “It isn’t going to matter what people think of you but it will matter if you don’t get right with me before it is too late”. That thought echoed in the back of my mind standing there during the invitation and I knew if I didn’t do something about it, I’d miss my chance.
There was one point in my life when I thought I got saved, but I truly didn’t. I got involved with some pretty heavy sins. I watched stuff on the internet I should NOT have watched…I was so deep in sin I felt like there was NO way I could get out of it. Here comes the good part…One day I just remember feeling so much guilt that I begged God to make the desire to watch those things go away. And you know what? I never felt the urge to repeat that sin again. If that doesn’t prove how amazing God is and how He can work in your life, then I don’t know what will.
People label sins.
It wasn’t until a couple years later that I cried out to Jesus (literally, bawling) on my couch and asked Jesus into my heart. I realized, I couldn’t rely on myself for happiness or anyone else for that matter, but only Jesus. He satisfies my soul.
I was truly on fire for God. But sadly, that zealous feeling went away and I know exactly why. Satan was trying to get me to turn away from Jesus and for a long time, it worked. Sadly to say, I lost the fire. I stopped reading the Bible, I hardly EVER prayed unless it was something I just really wanted. And I would go to church every Sunday morning and night. Every Wednesday night and hear the message of God being preached thinking “ I really outta do something about this”, but the thought would quickly evaporate into thin air and I was back to living the way I wanted and not God’s way.
I would go on youth retreats and spill my heart out to the youth group, but when we got back to the real world, back to school, back around Non-Christians, I turned into a different person…A person not living for Christ as I should be. And the saddest part is I didn’t even feel guilty about not having a right relationship with God…until today.
Today, as the invitation was playing I felt God pricking my heart like I couldn’t leave Second Baptist Church without doing something about my almost non existent relationship with Jesus. So as I headed down that altar, crying, I asked God to renew His power in my life. For Him to change me and make my heart yearn for Him like He yearns for me. And after I left church today, I felt so much better knowing God promised never to leave me nor forsake me..and that even while I ran away from Him, He brought me back to Him just like I’d never left.
I encourage you, if you don’t have a relationship with Christ to first make sure you have asked Him into your heart. Secondly, you need to ask Him to restore the fire in your heart that was once lost. Ask Him to renew you…to make you hunger and thirst for Him again.
But let me tell you one thing! Do NOT wait. You never know when Jesus is coming back and you want to make sure your relationship with Him is right before it is too late.
He loves you and wants you to love Him. All you have to do is trust your life with Him. Let Him mold you into what He wants you to be!
|October 3, 2016 at 10:14|
Mimi, that is soo awesome!! I’m so happy for you and so proud of you too! I know from experience that admitting that stuff is hard. I recently went through that only with depression and some other issues. I’m so glad that you took that step and rededicated yourself to Him!!! I pray that you will never lose that fire again and that you will draw closer and closer to God and that he will shine through you and use this testimony to bring others to him, in Jesus’ name, amen!!
|October 3, 2016 at 22:01|
Thank you so much!! It has been a truly amazing experience
|October 4, 2016 at 13:39|
Your testimony is AMAZING. I am so glad you persevered and overcame! It’s so awesome to have you on this website!
|October 4, 2016 at 14:14|
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