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Never Left Vacation

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Hey guys, I went on vacation this summer for six weeks. I visited my grandparents in Texas. It’s nothing new, we go there every summer. Before we left for Texas, I was really happy in the life I was living, I knew I was supposed to be here, in the small town with all these people I love, doing the same thing every day, being so happy with it.
So normally we visit for two too three weeks, and by that time I am really homesick, and happy to get back. But this time, after being there really long I never wanted to go home. I wished that home could just move there. I missed my parents and my dogs and friends and all, but I was so happy. And now I am back trying to adjust to being how happy I was before and I can’t. Everything I do feels meaningless. I miss my southern family, the youth group, and the small things like watching tv in their living room.
Even my passions have dulled a little. I’m not desperate to get to every martial arts class I can, I don’t want to hang out with my dad in his office anymore. I want to be able to hang out with friends, but now I have realized how little effort they put into hanging out with me.
I feel like my heart never left and I am counting the days till I can go back. Or anywhere but here even. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I need to rediscover the love I had for the life I am living here.
How can I do that? Everything here bothers me. The bugs, and how messy my family is, and how little there is to do. Please help me. I can’t live like this.

July 30, 2016 at 22:03
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