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No friends? Please help! Gonna cry!

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk No friends? Please help! Gonna cry!

This topic contains 8 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  ChildofGod_822 1 year, 12 months ago.

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ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

People have said I have a lot of friends but I’m not even sure anymore 🙁 In middle school, most of the girls were mean to me and the only friends I had were the girls at my youthgroup. To keep myself from being lonely or from crying, I would think of them and wish they were there. That was a very lonely time in my life and I feel like that again. Most of the friends I have now, I have to text or initiate contact with first. Only one girl I know will text me first. Even on Facebook, I have to send a message first or send a friend request. No one talks first, and I’m tired of feeling like I’m bothering or annoying people. My closest friend Rachel says people love me but is that really true?? It’s seeming like no one’s caring to talk to me, even her 🙁 I’m frustrated with myself because when she invited me to her youth group 4 years ago (freshman year) I thought some of those kids were the best people in the world to become friends with! I am so, so, so sorry. All I want to do right now is listen to sad music, cry, and maybe God will take me home to heaven. I’m done trying to even figure this friend thing out. Of course, I had them over for a party and they said they had fun and I should definitely have them over more often. They hug me and love to make me laugh. But I’m not sure now. My therapist said maybe I’m better at being a friend then they are, but I think even if someone wasn’t as good of a friend, they might text you first. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Why would God create me as someone who people aren’t interested in? Why am I always more interested in people? The only people who have shown slight interest in me are a couple of kids in my neighborhood and a very nice boy who was nice to me even in middle school. We didn’t talk for a long time so I thought he was mad at me, but when we did talk it was like talking to my brother. Also, adults have always seemed more interested in being my friend :/ Esp. my parents friends. How come? The only nice thing I saw is after my neighbor gave me a ride to school, I was walking in the hall alone, I turned around and saw him making sure I had someone to walk with 🙂 That was really nice. When I saw that, I almost forgot what it felt like to have someone care about me. He might be interested in being my friend but who knows? He didn’t say hi to me in the hall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFhx3P6izQA

Please help! The holidays are coming and I never felt so cold, alone, and isolated before…I mean, should I really even be here?

November 26, 2014 at 20:51
ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

Is it easier to not have any friends?

November 26, 2014 at 20:56
ktuck22

ktuck22

Honey, you are so special. Maybe the reason you feel like you don’t have anyone in your life is because you just haven’t found the right people yet. By being you, you will find people who want to be around you all the time because of what a beautiful person you are. And, okay, maybe they haven’t come around yet, but they will. God is always with you, so you know you are never alone, no matter what. Just trust Him. He wants you around good people and maybe the ones He picked out to be your friends just haven’t shown themselves yet. But they will. Every little thing’s gonna be alright 🙂
Honestly, I was the shyest person I knew freshman year. I would sit in the corner with my nose stuck in a book and not say a word to anyone. I would shake when giving public presentations. I would refuse to speak up in group projects. I felt like I only had a few friends, and even then, I still felt alone. This year, my junior year, I decided to challenge myself. I put myself in positions where I could be heard. I talked to new people. I spoke up in class. Each time was terrifying, but the end result was satisfying. I have become a more confident (and, arguably, louder haha 😉 ) and I have even made new friends and talked to guys! All it took was God and a little pressure from myself to become the person I am right now.
And trust me, if I could break out of my shell, anyone can 🙂
So keep your chin up, beautiful. The right people will find you if you know how to put yourself out there 🙂 God bless!

November 27, 2014 at 17:07
Smylinggirl

Smylinggirl

I can understand feeling alone. I have had friends who moved in directions taking them out of my life and it feels like if you want to keep friends, you have to do all the work. I have to admit that I still struggle with loneliness sometimes; I think that is natural. Don’t give up! Will you join me in leaning on and clinging to God? Don’t be afraid to cry and take your sadness to God. I will pray for you to find a really good friend. You are a special person and God made you just the way He knew would be perfect. He thinks you are beautiful! You said you were listening to sad music; try Air1, KLOVE, FamilyLifeRadio, or Yes.fm. You can listen to all of them online and some of them might have a station in your area! I hope this helps you.

In response to your comment that it might be easier to not have any friends, again, I understand where you are coming from. Relationships are risky and can hurt a lot. But, they can also be amazing! I once determined not to make any new friends because it was just to hard to let them go. Well, don’t fall into that! God made us for community with Himself and others. He knows your hurt and I know that He has a special friend in store for you. I want to encourage you to listen to “No Man Is An Island” by Tenth Avenue North, “You’re Not Alone” by Owl City and “He Knows” by Jeremy Camp. Music is God’s way of bringing me comfort and maybe it will help you too.

You are not alone, God knows what you are going through, and you are not the only one to have gone through this.

God bless you, beautiful PI girl!

November 28, 2014 at 17:28
ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

Thank you so much beautiful PI girls 🙂 I already feel so loved and appreciated by reading your replies. Just one question; how will I know if they’re the right people?

November 29, 2014 at 11:29
ktuck22

ktuck22

They’ll be there for you and encourage you all the time. They’ll want to get to know you, every single detail about you. You’ll know, trust me 🙂

November 29, 2014 at 12:24
SereneInChrist

SereneInChrist

I can relate! I like to reminisce on past conversations with people I don’t see anymore, only have one friend at the moment, and I’m lucky if anyone tries to initiate even a comment conversation on my Facebook page.

Its tuff to find people out there who just “click” but don’t loose hope, they’re out there.

Do you have any particular hobbies, interests, ect.? If you like books, for example, try to get a group of girls, or invite your one friend Rachel and ask her to invite some of her friends for a book club discussion at starbucks or something like that every month! That’s just an idea, little things like that are always fun to try.

December 2, 2014 at 10:05
GiveMeJesus99

GiveMeJesus99

First of all, you are special honey. On PI we all love you, even though we can’t see you face to face, we love you and we will always be friends okay? Are there any young people at your church? Or does your school have a christian union? Look for God filled people that will appreciate you, sounds like people just aren’t appreciating your friendship. you will know when the right people are there, because the holy spirit will guide you, keep praying and remember we love you xxxxx

December 4, 2014 at 09:03
ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

Thank you all so much 🙂 This is all amazing advice and I’m so thankful for the girls here on PI!! Love you all!!

December 12, 2014 at 15:16
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