Hey girls!! So this has been something on my heart for a while now, and I’m a bit confused..Nearly two years ago, I had a very casual flirty fling with a boy I just met..We exchanged numbers, after flirting that evening…we met at a game night. After that we flirtatiously texted and talked on the phone..This was the first time I was in mutual “like” with someone and I was beyond excited..Unfortunately, the “relationship” ended after three short weeks…(pahthetic I know). Nontheless, I was sad and heartbroken about this for longer than I care to mention. It seems like these past several months I have finally realized that I am fine and happy without him. (We never see each other anymore, he has a girlfriend). That being said, I realize that I still think about him often! Everyday, if I’mbeing honest..I don’t know if this is just because he was the cause of such new, and intense emotions in my life or what, but I’m wondering what you girls think of it?? This is the first time I have addressed this issue, and I’m wondering if you think it is an issue at all, or something I should simply ignore, as I have been doing?? Thanks so much for reading!!!
|December 1, 2014 at 12:56|
I think since he was such a big part of your life I think it’s normal for him to be on your mind. I think it’ll fade eventually. Try not to worry about it and pray (:
|February 28, 2015 at 20:18|
Its probably a good ides to try to stop thinking about him, but don’t worry that you’re not normal or whatever. Eventually you’ll meet someone who will make you forget about anyone else in the whole entire world.
|February 28, 2015 at 21:37|
I’ve had a sort of similar experience! When I was in high school, I was in mutual like with a guy — my best friend — but we didn’t really talk about it. I prayed for wisdom and God let me know that a relationship between us wouldn’t be healthy, so I set some boundaries to make sure we stayed “friends.”
That being said I thought about him all. the. time. I wanted to make sure that I was still giving that relationship to God, because I didn’t want thinking about him all the time to make me bitter at God or upset that we couldn’t be together. So I turned that thinking into praying — but specifically into praying for said boy. I prayed for him when he had tough days, for him to know how deeply God loved him, for God to show him something beautiful that day, etc.
I wasn’t trying to ignore him, so much as to pray for him in love without expecting anything. That’s similar in that you don’t expect a relationship with this boy, but you still care for him. Turn that caring into being a prayer warrior on his behalf! There’s such a gift in thinking about someone all the time and turning that into praying for them — then you’re praying for them all of the time, and you find yourself reminded of the presence of God throughout the day, and just praying more in general.
So, I’d say, one day at a time, turn thinking about him into praying for him — both for him to engage with God and to experience God’s love in his life, and for you to be able to care for him no strings attached.
Loving someone with no strings attached hurts like crap, because you have to let your heart stretch out big enough for that big of love. But learning how to love someone with no strings attached helps you know God so much better, and knowing God better is always such a beautiful thing.
And lastly, give yourself grace. Don’t beat yourself up if you forget to pray. Don’t be upset if you wish for that relationship back sometimes. Let those feelings happen. Don’t ignore them. Look at them and say, “Hello feeling. You are there. You are normal and valid. But if you stick around too long, you’re just going to drag me down. So I’m going to dig you up into the light, and then I’m going to trust God that he’s going to take care of you and make you what you should be.”
Or am I the only one that talks to my feelings…? x)
|March 5, 2015 at 16:37|
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