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Okay, so now that I'm 18…..

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions Okay, so now that I'm 18…..

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Lovegodlovelife 1 year, 4 months ago.

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Hi! So I am 18, and that is part of my question. My parents haven’t allowed me to wear a bikini. But now that I am 18…. can I? I still live at home. I have heard so many different opinions, but the thing is I am wondering, if it makes a boy lust after a girl, why do you think so many parents allow their girls to wear them? I would get a modest one obviously, and be buying one myself. Like, I went swimming with friends today, and forgot my swimsuit, so I could have swam in my bra, but even though I am 18, I would not have felt comfortable showing so much skin, didn’t want to just wear a bra, go against my parents’ wishes, and I wanted to support my brother in Christ, who was there.

I am kind of on both sides here… My youth leaders who I look up to and admire are adults and choose to wear one-pieces, but many of my Christian friends wear bikinis. Like, I feel like pretty much every girl does. I feel kind of childish in my one-piece sometimes, but like I said my youth leaders wear one-pieces.

So, basically, can I legally wear one now that I am 18 or do I have to wait til I am 21? Honestly I am too shy to ask my parents and would feel very embarrassed, especially since my mom strongly doesn’t want me to make boys think of screwing me. I am sorry I had to say that to get the point across. 😀

July 24, 2015 at 19:19


I don’t think age has anything to do with it. It really depends on how you feel as a person and Christian. I personally don’t agree with bikinis, as it says in the bible how we should be modest. I wear swim skirts and yes it can be tough cause honestly I do get tempted and want to wear a cute bikini but I know in my heart that’s not what I should do. In fact no one in my family wears swimsuits. Us girls wear either shorts or a swim skirt. But do what you feel is right. Even if it might upset others. Just make sure your doing it for the right reasons. Oh and make sure you think and PRAY on it really hard. 😉

July 25, 2015 at 05:00


Yes, it’s legal 🙂

In the Bible, verses advocating modest clothing choices (1 Timothy 2:9; 1 Peter 3:3-4) are not about sexuality, rather they are about encouraging ethical and decent clothing choices. In other words, don’t spend a ton of money on clothing when you live around or visit people who have nothing.

The word “modest” in 1 Timothy 2:9 is the Greek word “Kosmios” which means:

Orderly, decent, virtuous, modest, well ordered.

The word “modest” is defined by the dictionary as:

Unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities or achievements.

Of an amount, rate, or level of something) relatively moderate, limited, or small.

Ok moving on. Here’s something interesting I found:

Jesus never placed responsibility on a woman for making a man lust. In fact, he did just the opposite. Take a look at Matthew 5:28-29:

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

Jesus didn’t say “If you lust, tell that woman to cover up!”

No, he placed responsibility squarely on whoever was lusting by telling them if their eye (get it –their eye– not the woman) caused them to sin, they should gouge it out! :O

To me, different standards of modesty for men and women are silly. Women are expected to cover up more, but if you think about it that means 1 of 2 things:

1. Either women are somehow inferior to men so their bodies need to be covered up.
2. Women are superior/purer than men so they shouldn’t show as much of their bodies.

Neither are true, obviously. Both men and women are simply human, no more, no less. We are absolutely different, but I don’t think we should be acting as if womens’ bodies are some bizarre, pure, mysterious thing that must be completely covered. That being said, if a woman *wants* to dress conservatively she should!
Freedom doesn’t lie in *what* we wear, rather in our *choice* of how we get to dress.

I understand wanting to please the people you look up to. For me personally, I wear both 1 and 2 piece suits. When I’m around my conservative (usually Baptist 🙂 ) friends/youth pastor, I wear a one piece because I know how they feel about modesty, and I want to respect their beliefs and not shock them. It’s my personal conviction, based on reading 1 Corinthians. When I’m around other friends who don’t have a problem with bikinis I wear one too.

July 25, 2015 at 08:31


I am going to tell you a sad truth.
If you live under your parents roof, you live my theirs rules. You’re could be 35 and if you live with your parents, you do what they want.
Now ,I have started wearing a bikini. And nobody is wanting to screw me. I promise that. It’s just a stomach. Boob bearing Is different, though. Showing off your stomach, nothing to extreme. But boobs should be mostly covered. But also, if you want to show the girls off, I cheer you on. But be classy.
About boys lusting. Haters Gonna hate, lover’s gonna love, fangirls gonna fangirl, lusters gonna lust. If someone where hating on you, would you change what they wanted you to? Or would you flaunt your self?
Is they are going to lust, they are going to do it anyway. Myers mom has actually experimented sorta. She used to have a huge problem with guys being incredibly disrespectful to her. So she started dressing and in sweats, baggy clothing, boob smushing bras, no makeup, ect. But men still lusted over her. So she went back to wear Nicer clothing out.
Do what make you happy and confident,though. That is what matters

July 25, 2015 at 10:30


Personally, I think the definition of modesty should be 1)based on biblical teachings and 2) your personal conviction from your heart and from prayer. I think this article sums it up better than I can 🙂 :http://coffeewithkara.com/my-modesty-journey/. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning that society dictated modesty rules are usually rubbish. For Example, in the middle ages, it was perfectly fine to walk around with nothing at all covering your chest or bum, but it was insanely scandalous for you to go out with uncovered ankles!!! So I say listen to your heart 🙂

July 25, 2015 at 22:31
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