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Okay, so what is so bad about being in love with love?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions Okay, so what is so bad about being in love with love?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  TheGirlWithWings 1 year, 3 months ago.

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kellybarta14

kellybarta14

Okay, so some people may call me a hopeless romantic. Let’s just say it– my whole life I have loved fairytales and Disney, storybooks, the Bible, etc. Not to mention growing up watching lots of Disney movies and reading the Bible. Let’s admit, some of them have pretty great love stories… Ariel and Prince Eric, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and Jasmine. Even from the Bible, Moses and Zipporah, Ruth and Boaz, Rebekah and Isaac. (okay, so maybe I watch a bit TOO much TV… I doubt Jethro really did the whole Through Heaven’s Eyes thing– darn it, I just love The Prince of Egypt! And come on, it’s an awesome scene). Basically, I have grown up watching well…. love. And I have loved the idea of love my whole life. I have pretty much planned my wedding since I was a little girl, and I have been boy crazy since like 7th grade, though I AM trying to work on it. Let me just come right out and say it… I am kinda in love with love.

So, what is the problem with it? I heard a Christian author in a book say it was really bad, I don’t remember why. But all I know is he wrote about when he was in college he would be so excited when school would start cause there would be all these new girls coming, and he said it was bad because he wasn’t in love with anyone, but love itself.

Love is a wonderful thing… kisses at sunset, running off together on the beach, waltzing, the proposal, then the wedding, then a little one or two… I have never been in two-sided love, but I have heard it is a wonderful feeling.

I feel like if one is in love with love itself, when they meet the one, then well…. they will have a ton of love for that person because of their love for love? And kind of, use their love of love to pursue their other? If that makes sense?

Anyway, I can’t put my finger on it, but I have felt I have heard many Christian authors/experts say it is a bad thing… But I cant remember why. Anyway, what is your stance? Why is it bad?

August 4, 2015 at 22:24
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

I don’t think they think love itself is he bad thing, but rather our definition of love. Kissing at sunset, weddings and dancing are great, but there’s more to love than that. You two won’t always see eye to eye and it won’t always be so perfect. Too many people don’t take that into account and leave when the feelings aren’t as strong. It just takes work, which is what a lot of fairytales leave out.

“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.” – CS Lewis

August 5, 2015 at 06:04
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Your life won’t always be a fairy tale, but there’s nothing wrong with loving goodness and well, love. Don’t believe something is automatically right or wrong simply because a Christian author says it is. Unless it’s specifically stated in the Bible, it’s simply their opinion.

August 6, 2015 at 09:31
EmeraRider

EmeraRider

If anything distracts from your relationship with God, then it’s a problem. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being in love with love, because it’s a gift from God. He created it. God smiles down upon us when we find it, and if we pray to Him for guidance in our relationships, then it is truly one of the most beautiful things life has to offer.

And no, love isn’t always perfect. It’s about more than the head in the clouds fluttery feeling. That feeling is wonderful, and with true love, it never goes away completely. But love is also about hard work and compromise. However, that’s the part that strengthens it.

August 6, 2015 at 11:33
TheGirlWithWings

TheGirlWithWings

Hi, another hopeless romantic here! I completely understand what you are saying, but I think unlike you I have had to deal with the consequences of being in love with love first hand. I held the idea of being in love so high that I compromised myself, not once, but twice. With my first serious boyfriend I was determined to make it work, to have the happily ever after even though I wasn’t entirely happy with the relationship. I wanted the story of high school sweet hearts getting married right after graduation and becoming a military wife so much that my happiness came second and the aftermath was not fun to say the least. I did this AGAIN with another young man, though circumstances were different, and I regret it. Just be careful how vulnerable you make your heart or you’ll become susceptible to any young man who makes your heart flutter. Remember, the heart is sick and deceitful. Who can trust it?

August 10, 2015 at 10:52
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