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Parents Don't Support College Decision

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  marisa145 6 months, 1 week ago.

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Hello! So I’m currently a junior in High School and I live in Maine. I’ve been looking into colleges, preferably Christian, and I’ve really fallen in love with Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA. The only problem is that it is about 11 1/2 hours away from home. My parents know that I really want to go there, but they aren’t being very supportive of me since it’s so far away. Whenever I bring it up, they always just say “Yeah” or “Oh, Liberty *discrete eye roll.*” I’m very close with my family and an only child, so I can understand why this is hard for them, but I don’t think that it’s very fair that they won’t give it much of a chance because it’s so far away. Also when I bring it up, they say “Community College is a great choice too.” I understand that going for the first 2 years will be cheaper and I can stay home for a couple more years, but I don’t really know what to think about it. Do you know what I can do to try to convince my parents to at least give it a try? Or should I just do what they want and go to a community college first? I’m very much a people pleaser, especially when it comes to my parents, and I really care about their opinions, so I’m easily swayed by what they think. I’ve been struggling with this for a while now, and it’s come to the point where I’m starting to think about giving up on Liberty because of my parents. Any advice or help would be very appreciated! ~ Katie

April 24, 2016 at 04:17


Don’t give up on Liberty 😉 Clearly you want to go, and at some point you will need to break away from your parents, since you are an adult. Do what you want to do (go to Liberty) but do it in a gentle, kind manner. In other words, when you tell them you’re going and they get upset, don’t get angry back. Understand that they love you, and that’s why it’s hard for them to let you go.

My parents did the exact same thing. They’re moving out of state and I’m about to begin college at a university. They told me I needed to move with them, and I could live at home and go to community college or take online classes.

I said no.

They were upset at first but I followed through and they changed. My dad later told how proud he was of me and my mom told me she’s excited for me and has been extremely helpful and supportive. I am a huge people pleaser too–like legit nothing makes me happier than to make other people happy–but at some point you have to put your foot down and do what you know is right.

It’s not as scary as you imagine 🙂

April 24, 2016 at 09:31
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Go to Liberty! It is such an amazing opportunity for you to go! If you feel God is guiding you to go there in your heart, just do it! If you listen to what your parents say, you probably will end up regretting that you didn’t go there years later, and believe me, you don’t want to have any regrets! Just do it:)

April 27, 2016 at 15:34


I think you should still go to Liberty. It’s a Christian college, and a good one, You can learn from skilled teachers and be encouraged as a Christian. AdventureGirl’s right, you do have to break from your parents someday. Be respectful but still, if you feel God has called you to that, don’t let them hold you back. Hope this helps 🙂

April 29, 2016 at 09:26


Hey girl, this post inspired an entire PI article and I want to reply with what I commented on there here too so you would definitely see it:

“I really wish this had been around when I was choosing a college. I thought I had a free choice as long as it wasn’t too too far away (any school I looked at was no more than three hours away and all in state!) and as long as financial aid covered it there wouldn’t be an issue. I was wrong and I had no idea how to go about this dance with my family. It finally got to a point where my parents said “you’re going to (insert name of my college that’s ten minutes from my house) just accept that” it was quite damaging to me as a burgeoning young adult, I felt as though my adult decisions weren’t valid. There is an incredible grey area between wanting to honor your parents and doing what God is calling you to. Amazing opportunities have come up because I went to the college they (forced would be a hard but sort of appropriate word) forced me to go to but I wish the journey there had been easier. Really try to be adult and mature when you talk to them about your honest feelings. Your concerns for wanting to go to a certain college are just as valid as your parents’ concerns about you not wanting to go to a certain college. Listen and pray God gives them a listening heart as well in the situation that if even if they don’t change their mind on it, that they are gracious and use kind words instead of orders when delivering that decision.”

So what I’m saying is, really sit down and try to communicate with them. I know you’re probably starting your senior year in just a few short weeks. Definitely apply to Liberty even if your parents are still on the junior college train because God might soften their hearts in the coming months and you don’t want to be stuck going to community college anyways because you missed the application deadline for Liberty. I would recommend telling your parents you still wish to apply only because you don’t want to run into a deadline situation, not because you want to defy them. Being that proactive and organized might actually show them that you are serious and want to be responsible. I wish you all the best. I all too well know your struggle, hon.


July 19, 2016 at 12:51
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