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Porn Addiction (Help)

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  dawnmarie2193 1 year, 7 months ago.

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Project Inspired

scaredlover

I am a teenage Christian girl and I have a porn addiction. Not pornography, but written. I cannot stop reading it for some reason. I do not get aroused, I do not use it to masturbate (or anything else, I do not do it), nothing. I get nothing out of it, I do not know why I read it, curiosity I suppose. The why is not important, what is important is that I want to stop but I cannot.
I do not remember the exact percentages, but it is something like 70% of church men look at porn and 50% of church women, so please do not just think I am a freak. We all have our struggles, this is one of mine. However, despite the obvious number of women who also struggle with this (50 Shades of Grey, which I have not read, makes that kind of obvious), I have not in person managed to find someone else. I feel like I have no support from people around me. At church and everywhere else they always call out the guys for porn and I feel estranged, and alone. Very alone. I told my best friend to try to get accountability but she had no idea what to do and basically just told me good luck. I told my youth minister at church, and that helped me stop for a few weeks, but today I failed. Failed very badly, and became so sick with myself that I threw my phone (what I was reading it on) (no that is not an anger issues thing I just wanted it away from me, even if it was only a few feet to my bed). I do not want to go to church tomorrow because I do not want her to ask and I do not want to have to tell her.
I hate this. I hate myself for doing this. I have struggled with this since seventh grade, and while at times I have managed to cast it away and in those times strengthened my relationship with God, I now feel further from him than ever and feel so steeped in it like I cannot get out. I do not necessarily agree with everything here on Project Inspired, but, please, I need help. Is there anyone else on here who struggles with this?

March 1, 2015 at 00:20
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

First of all, you are absolutely not a freak. Sexual impurity and pornography is extremely easy to fall into, because our culture is hyper-sexualized. There’s a lot of girls on here who struggle with this, you’re definitely not alone.

I read part of Mere Christianity by CS Lewis, and I remember one part talked about overcoming sin in our life. It said something to the effect of we always think it will be easier to overcome sin than it really is. However, on our path back to the straight-and-narrow, we fall off, we get back on, fall off, get back on—generally far more than we’d like before we’re happy with where we’re at.

^This has happened to me for other things and it always upset me because I figured God was angry that I kept sinning. But CS Lewis had a different perspective. He said God allows us to fall off because it reinforces how much we need him. (This isn’t to say sin is good, but rather to point out God can turn even bad things into something good)

Only God can keep us from sinning. Yes, willpower definitely plays in, but it’s not the only factor. I think God is more concerned with our faithful effort to honor Him.

So you made a mistake and slipped. It’s ok. Forget it. Dwelling on it will not make you less likely to read porn in the future, it will condemn you so that you will be so upset you’ll be MORE likely to go back to sinning.

Feel free to update us on how you’re doing, and to post when you feel tempted to read it so we can encourage you.

God loves you, and so do we! <3

March 1, 2015 at 09:35
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

http://fightthenewdrug.org/get-help/#sthash.3A5S5usz.dpbs
http://badchristian.com/themword/
http://xxxchurch.com/get-help/women

March 1, 2015 at 21:45
Project Inspired

scaredlover

Bless you both! Thank you!

March 1, 2015 at 22:08
Project Inspired

kylie15

Oh girlfriend your not alone and I know how you feel! I used to be addicted to porn to but I would watch, read, and look at it ALL the time! I know how hard it is to overcome these things!! feeling far away from God sometimes is also part of being a Christian and you should know just because we FEEL that way doesn’t mean its true!:) God is always there! have you asked him to help you through this? I can guarantee you that you will not overcome it on your own strength you need his to. I also know what you mean when people just point out when the boys do it and not the girls. it frustrates me because it makes you feel like your the only girl out there who does it and your a “freak” because of it, but your not!!!! I bet you there are at least 10 other girls in there who are going through the same thing! I used to think I was the only one until my friend told me her testimony and said she was addicted to it also. when you say your sick of yourself THATS GOOD!!! (I mean its not good that your sick of yourself) but that means your realizing the problem and it can change. what your suffering from is called habitual sin and its what I go through ALL the time!!!!!!!!!!!! it can be tiring but I can PROMICE you, you cant do it without God…AT ALL!!!!! so PRAY PRAY PRAY that God helps you through this time. I know it can be hard if you feel hes not there so ask him to show you that he is. I would get a good devotional book about it to. keep talking about it with people and also. Hope this helped feel free to update me also on whats going on or if you just want to talk!!!!

March 2, 2015 at 15:39
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

^ The reason why she feels so alone is because society likes to spread the lie that only men a visual when it comes to sex, and women are emotional.

March 2, 2015 at 18:10
SlinkyKitty88

SlinkyKitty88

You said the why doesn’t matter, but I think it kinda does. Finding out why you’re doing it in the first place may help you figure out how to stop.
Have you had decent sex ed? Are you just trying to educate yourself? (Jus’ sayin’, ’cause I was super curious about this kinda thing, not having had a sex ed course in high school.)
If so, sexy scenes in books aren’t the way to do it (Though they are often a hilarious read).

March 3, 2015 at 11:28
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

Slinky is right! You have to get to the root of the problem 🙂

March 3, 2015 at 15:07
Project Inspired

scaredlover

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this.
Thanks so much everyone for the advice and support, it’s been better since I started this. The websites are also very helpful.
No, I had no sex ed at all. I was never even given “the talk.” I guess that was the main motivation. I actually learned a good deal from my brother, who is the one who actually got me started on this by absent-mindedly recommending an online story to me that happened to have a sex scene in it. I guess my curiosity built from there.
Thanks again! You’re all amazing! God bless!

March 13, 2015 at 00:17
megan_estep13

megan_estep13

Hey girly! I just want you to know that you are NOT alone on this. I myself have looked at porn and masturbated. I’m not proud of this at all, but I got my youth pastors wife to become my accountability partner and have been doing much better! If you need to talk to someone, here is my email! meganestep13@yahoo.com
I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone. I know how it feels and want to help in anyway that I can.

April 16, 2015 at 17:49
dawnmarie2193

dawnmarie2193

You are not alone, im the same way, whether it be romantic novels, or actual porn it makes me feel like a freak sometimes, i feel like I’m alone a lot too, because not a lot of girls understand

April 18, 2015 at 05:39
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