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Preparing to date vs making an idol out of marriage

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships Preparing to date vs making an idol out of marriage

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So, I have no idea what exactly I’m going to say but this has just really been bothering me. Over and over I see things like don’t just sit on your hands until your future husband comes along and you have to fall in love with God first before you get in a relationship/are ready for a relationship and don’t make an idol out of marriage but okay here’s my problem.

There are books and books and articles out there helping girls prepare to date, prepare to be a wife, what to look for in a Godly husband and relationship and what you should be and with all of this information being almost just as pervasive as the wrong kind of media how can we not make an idol out of marriage and relationships? How are we expected to do all those things asked of us when we’re constantly bombarded with this stuff then told to just bring it to God and the rest will fall into place? We are expected to wait on God but sitting on our hands waiting is not what we should do, but what if we’re unclear about what our next step should be during out time of singleness? What if we feel like we hear radio silence from God?

I want to make it clear though that this is not me getting angry at God. I am more irritated with the constantly conflicting views we seem to have thrown at us every time we open a webpage or a book. How do we prepare to be in a Christ centered relationship and make ourselves available without the risk of it being an idol and feeling awful because in our honest motive to prepare, we let that become an idol?

I am speaking from personal experience, these last six months my season of singleness has been really hard and a lot of growing and I’m not seeing any real fruit bearing. Only frustration. I feel like I’m clawing at a wall, not climbing up a valley. The only answer I’m coming up with is that this isn’t meant for me and that only devastates me. I don’t think that stuff like this isn’t meant to devastate us. I’ve had strong callings and longings to be a mom for as long as I can remember and those haven’t changed no matter my walk with Christ but seeing it in reality is where I feel like I’m hitting a wall. What is happening?

July 22, 2016 at 16:37
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