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Problems With Gossip

This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  AdventureGirl 1 year, 4 months ago.

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QueenFemminist97

QueenFemminist97

Hello Ladies

Yes, I have returned to the site. (If you remember me at all that is)

I have returned with a relevant post I feel. A non-controversial one at that.

I have a confession to make….I love to gossip. I do it all the time, and I need to stop.

Today during my usual bible reading time I came across this verse:

“Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue” Proverbs 11:12 NIV

This really spoke to me. Upon further reading of Proverbs I came across this verse:

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” Proverbs 31:18 NIV

Those two really hit me hard about how bad gossiping is. How it doesn’t show off my wisdom or good attributes, it looks if anything dumb and rude.

My questions to you ladies are:
1. Do you gossip?
2. How do you stop gossiping?
3. What do you think about it?

July 21, 2015 at 11:39
SavedbyGrace14

SavedbyGrace14

I definitely gossip! It’s so hard not to. But gossiping is wrong, which means I am wrong for gossiping. Thank you for posting this. It really helped.

July 21, 2015 at 11:47
QueenFemminist97

QueenFemminist97

@SavedbyGrace14 It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who gossips. It is hard not to stop. Each time I’ll tell myself “Okay, this time you won’t bring it up.” Then next thing you know, the latest scandal is being brought up and here I go again. It’s so hard keeping to my word not to.

Gossip also reminds me of this verse:

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of once life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” James 3:6 NIV

I think that really speaks about the dangers of our tongue, or rather our words. I can’t really think of anything positive that comes from it, but I can’t stop myself most of the time.

July 21, 2015 at 11:58
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

First of all, welcome back! I’m glad you decided to return. 🙂

1. I used to gossip all the time. I was painfully shy and really disliked myself, so my reasoning was that if I could bring to attention the faults of other people it would make people not focus on what was wrong with me.
I quit gossiping for years as I grew a bit more confident and God really placed a passion in me for building people up and encouraging them instead of tearing them down.

I’ve definitely slipped up before, recently actually. I had thought gossip was solely about my lack of confidence, but that wasn’t it entirely. It’s a habit. Once you start, it’s hard to stop! Gossiping is really fun at the time, and it’s really “easy” if that makes sense. It doesn’t take much brain power to talk about someone. I really like this quote:

“Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss things, and small minds discuss people.”

2. I’m hyper-self aware (or maybe just self-conscious ) so I know exactly when I’m gossiping or about to start. I just don’t say anything. I’ve kind of made it a rule to never talk about someone who isn’t present unless it’s 100% positive.

3. Gossip is so hurtful, and completely breaks trust. Plus, it’s petty and like the quote above says, shows you’re not really using your brain. The last thing I want to do is hurt people, and since I appreciate it when people are open and honest with me, I try to do the same.

So it’s great that you are aware of this habit. It might take a little while to break it, but that’s ok. You also might want to ask yourself why you gossip as well, understanding why I do something destructive usually helps me fix it.

July 21, 2015 at 13:26
QueenFemminist97

QueenFemminist97

@AdventureGirl It’s lovely to see you again. (Emphasis on see cause I’m not really seeing you lol)

I definitely agree that it’s a habit. I think that’s why I do gossip so much, it’s an easy habit. You know when there’s a lull in conversation it’s so easy to just bring up the latest gossip and get it moving again.

That is a seriously wonderful quote! I think that really puts it into a different perspective.

I actually think your rule is great. It reminds me of:


“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

If you concentrate on building up not degrading or insulting, I think that would a great way to gossip. I think the next time I feel the need to talk about someone, I’ll say something good.

Random Fun Fact:It takes 21 days to form or break a habit. My goal will be to spend the next 21 days not gossiping. Which is great cause I’ll be starting school a few weeks after that, and I think breaking the gossip habit would be a great way to start my Senior year 🙂

July 21, 2015 at 13:54
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

I’m glad to see you back!

Whenever I catch myself gossiping (or my friends), I’ll just start saying positive things about the person I’m talking about.

Here’s a helpful article! http://goingbyfaith.com/types-of-gossip/

July 22, 2015 at 05:43
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

@Queenfemminist~ Positive gossip–it’s the way to go lol! xD And yes I know exactly what you mean about wanting to gossip during a break in a conversation.

I was thinking of that verse, so I’m glad you’ve read it. I was going to add it to my first post but it was already really long haha 🙂

I think that’s an awesome goal to have, keep us updated on how you’re doing!

July 22, 2015 at 19:07
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