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Problems..

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  happyitsestie 5 months, 1 week ago.

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happyitsestie

happyitsestie

Hey guys, I’m usually not one to spill my problems but I have to get this off my chest as I have an exam tomorrow and if I don’t get this off my chest I’ll stop studying.

I’m getting sick and tired of living at home, I love my parents and I know that some people’s problems are worse than me, but I always feel like I must have been dealt with the short end of the stick. They always fight in front of me about trivial things that happened so long ago.. they always make a huge deal about how important it is to be God’s child and to pray and fast, when I can’t even see one ounce of change on their part. I need role models in my life! It gets really hard to be part of a sometimes loving Christian family.. and I’ve envied other Christian families (who most definitely have their problems) but at least they actually try to be christian. The problem with my family is that while my parents are considered strong christians, its like they’re cold inside. I have learned a lot from my family though about spiritual warfare and etc. but it seems like even with this they continue to burst out angrily, being rude to each other, my siblings have picked up on these habits and sometimes yelling matches can be heard between them.. I feel like no one understands me.. ever since I was young I always wanted to follow Christ, but even that seems out of reach.. I feel like God is always mad at me, I get mad at myself all the time for sinning and I usually end up feeling like a big dissapointment. I dont feel like I can tell them anything as I tried that before and it ended with my dad yelling at me about how I was letting the devil steal my joy and that I was acting stupid and weak… didnt even let me talk or anything… I want to be greater for God but I don’t know how, I want to be used by him in greater ways but I feel like i’m being held back. One of my friends even mentioned that she felt like I was being held back by something, it’s like I have to be perfect with my family, a standard that they’ve held for me, whether they want to admit it or not.

I also feel stuck in this house and I want to leave as soon as possible.

The point is that I love my family, but I feel like I’m living in a toxic environment.. I sometimes feel like I’m the only person who cares about my family’s well being, not only spiritually like my dad emphasizes, but in terms of character. Is it wrong for me to simply want my family to be a reflection of Jesus in everything? I mean they’re the ones who taught me about Jesus so why do they choose to so often ignore his words? anyways i also have another question about finances but i’ll make another post or something anyways if you read everything you seriously deserve a medal! any advice would be appreciated..

April 19, 2016 at 19:57
Lexi7

Lexi7

I know exactly what you mean. It’s great that you want to try to be more like Christ and that you want your family to do that, too. The best thing to do is to remember that as humans, we are not perfect, and your family might not be a perfect representation of Christ. And that’s okay. You can pray to God to help you be a light for everyone in your life, and just help you keep living to serve Him, no matter what everyone else does. Even just being an example for your family can do a lot, even when it doesn’t seem like it. And pray for your family, that God can help them to be more like Him too. God put you where you are for a reason. Maybe it’s a part of His plan to use you to make even a small impact in someone’s life. Try to see whose life you can make an impact on every day. Just keep loving your family and everyone, and loving God, and everything will be okay.
Also, maybe there is a club or group you can join at you church or school, like a youth group sort of thing where you can surround yourself with other Christians who will understand the situation that you are in, and be there to talk to you about it or just to have fun with and worship God with you.
And always remember that God is not mad at you. He wants more than anything to show mercy, and even though we do sin, He will always be right there waiting for you to let Him into your life more and more each day. Instead of letting your family hold you back, let God help you overcome and be a light. Pray and ask Him to show you want His plan is, and He will. Maybe it will be super clear, and maybe it won’t, but He will be there to guide you. And whenever it is a part of His plan, you’ll be able to move out if that’s what’s best for you. I will be praying for you! Jesus loves you 🙂

July 22, 2016 at 13:17
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I know how you feel too. My family looked perfect on the outside when I was growing up, but there was lots of yelling, judgement, passive aggressiveness and whatnot. I love my parents and they’ve done a lot for me but yes, I totally get it’s frustrating.

Can you find a roommate and move out?

July 22, 2016 at 16:07
SignerGirl

SignerGirl

I felt like that about my family. I moved out last year, and it tore a rift in my relationship with them, however crappy it was to start with. Moving out may be a good option, just make sure to communicate clearly with them and don’t make it sound like you’re asking permission. My parents took that as a chance to bully me into staying.

July 28, 2016 at 09:42
happyitsestie

happyitsestie

Thanks for all of the advice guys!! I decided to stick it out and work for one more year before deciding if I want to move out or not, finding a roommate in my area is pretty easy, as I have a ton of friends who live away from their parents. But ya, thanks for all the prayers and advice again 🙂

August 12, 2016 at 22:21
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