Girls, I am going to be full out honest and open about this. Because I feel that I need your girls’ advice/support. Alrighty…l am a virgin. And I will be until I am married. I am seventeen years young. I am blessed with a church family and my family. I grew up learning to save my self for my future husband. I have done that throughout high school. You could label me as the Senior in high school never to have boyfriend, never had her first kiss, let alone to hold hands with a boy. I am a virgin. Innocent, is what I have been called. But I never minded, I acutely found it as a compliment. (Of course I struggled with societies “You need a boyfriend” deal.)
So you get the deal. I am Jesus Freak, who has never had an “experience”. Until I got my first committed relationship the beginning of this year. Yep. That’s right, I am a senior.. about to leave for high school and I fall for a guy. (It is crazy where God can lead you!) Let me just tell you I prayed LONG AND HARD about this relationship, and it’s just one of those God things that I can’t explain. Anyways. Since I have been dating this guy, I have had my first kiss. And over the course of time we kissed longer than what an average kiss should be… then things got more “passionate”. We never had an type of sex or seen each other naked.. but let’s just say we have done things that you wouldn’t do in public.
At first, we both were just hanging out in my room. Talking about memories, and music. Harmless, right? Wrong. Both of us in my bedroom, alone. You get the picture. After that day, I told myself I will not let that happen again and repented to God. You girls have heard of the saying
Though now I face a challenge that satan is setting me up with. I invited my boyfriend over to my house to see him before Christmas break is over tomorrow. And I truly fear something will happen, I know I shouldn’t. And I know many of you are thinking “Well, if you don’t put yourself in that position it wouldn’t be that hard.” If only you girls knew how easily words are said. I need your girls help, please. How do I remain pure? For my sake, God’s, and my boyfriends? And how do I avoid my last mistakes? I know that God doesn’t give us anythign we cannot handle… but as said earlier. The soul is willing, but the flesh is weak. Girls if any of you have anything to add or something simliar they’d like to share, please do! I feel like I am the only one trapped in a situation like this.
Thanks! With love,
|January 2, 2015 at 19:42|
We have never had any type of sex.* We are both virgins.
|January 2, 2015 at 19:45|
I know that you don’t want to hear “don’t put yourself in that position”, but that is essentially what you just gotta do. Set up boundaries and barriers that don’t give you the opportunity to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with. For an example, instead of going in your room alone, stay in the living room where there will probably be people passing by. Just putting yourself in a more open space will prevent either of you from feeling comfortable to go further than you want to go. If you ever feel tempted to do anything that you are uncomfortable with, just pray. Ask God to help take your temptation away and he will. Also, don’t feel “disgusting” or “dirty”. You just went a little farther than you would have liked and now you know what you are and aren’t comfortable with. You say you repented to God, and he has cleansed you of your sins so there is no reason to feel “dirty”. Just set those barriers, pray to God, and you’ll be fine 🙂
|January 3, 2015 at 09:06|
Have you told your parents about this?
I know that this sounds difficult, but you have to open up. Accountability helps to expose sin and keep things above-board. If you explain the situation to your parents, they can advise you on what course of action to take. Also, as Chloe mentioned, avoid putting yourself in a position of temptation. It is not wise to stay alone in your bedroom with your boyfriend. It invites temptation.
Are there going to be any family gatherings over Christmas break? Any get-togethers with friends? I would suggest that you spend time together in a group setting rather than alone. Invite him over for dinner at your house, perhaps. Only interact with him in sight of several other people. One of the best ways to fight temptation is to not give it an opportunity to develop.
One last question: why are you pursuing a relationship with this young man? What’s the purpose? In light of what has happened between you, I think that you need to prayerfully consider what direction you would like this relationship to take. Ask yourself honestly: do you think that you could marry this young man? Are you in this relationship with the ultimate goal of marriage in mind, or are you in it for some other reason? Discuss this with your parents, and discuss this with God.
|January 9, 2015 at 14:51|
Just realized that Christmas break is almost over. Well, my advice still stands with regards to the group settings thing.
|January 9, 2015 at 15:28|
im praying for you I know how that can feel stay strong in god
|January 9, 2015 at 16:46|
Make sure you’re never alone together, then things can’t go too far 😉 I completely understand though girly, it is hard to stay pure: sexual temptation is one of the hardest to resist.
And you *should* be very proud of yourself, two weeks is a long time.
|January 10, 2015 at 12:14|
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