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Review My Writing?

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Juanita11 8 months, 3 weeks ago.

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Juanita11

Juanita11

Hey girls. I have been feeling compelled to write. I wasn’t sure what to write and how to say it. But tonight I just took the laptop put on music and started wringing about my passion for TaeKwonDo. I felt being so led to write this. I finished it in around an hour but now I really want to share it. Would you be willing to read it and tell me what you think of it?

If you would here is the link :http://fav.me/d9u7lii
Thanks XOXO

March 5, 2016 at 23:38
nerdfreak09

nerdfreak09

Hey! I LOVED it! Your passion is phenomenal and it was such an inspiration to read! I even bookmarked it on my computer!

There was really was only a couple of things I noticed might, in your opinion, would need to be looked at. Towards the beginning there were too many “I”s. Also, only a couple of times and towards the end, there were punctuation and spelling probs. Also the end of the second paragraph and the beginning of the sixth were a little difficult to understand.

Other than that, it was really amazing! I’m an athlete and I’m working at joining the Civil Air Patrol and this truly was inspiring! You should definitely write more often!

March 19, 2016 at 08:47
Juanita11

Juanita11

Thank you very much! I had lots of fun writing it and glad to see that someone ready it.
I have a friend who normally proof reads for me but she didn’t this time so I was a little lost on my own. Thanks for the pointers and I will try and edit it a little to fix all those small problems.

March 20, 2016 at 18:52
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