First before I get into my question I want to just say. I don’t want a bunch of people posting Bible verses. It’s not that I care don’t care about what the Bible has to say about it. It’s that I know. The Bible says it’s a sin. I get it. But, I wanna know what people personally think. Time and time again I have been told “sex is bad” but it’s not. Its a beautiful thing and as long as you’re ready I believe it is okay.
|May 17, 2015 at 22:23|
Sex is not bad, unless outside of marriage. I have not done it. I plan on having it but only after marriage. I think that it is beautiful and a gift to a married man and woman only. If it is outside of marriage God tells us it is a sin but inside it is perfectly acceptable and beautiful in marriage because that is God’s intention. I do not on ever plan on having sex outside of marriage. Because, coming to know the Lord as my Savior I have been convicted that way. Even though I still sin I never try to do it intentionally. I believe when a person is saved their heart will still stumble over and over but their heart is changed and they turn from their sins. They will still sin and struggle but they should never embrace or keep living in their sin intentionally. If they do embrace it and intentionally keep living in it they either are far from God(Struggling with their walk and relationship with Him.) or they have not truly come to know Him. I do not have the right to say weather a person is or isn’t saved and neither does any one else other than God. It’s just if they haven’t turned from their sin they may not be. This is not directed at any one person but I write this as a note to a group. What I have written may not be “on topic” but it is important.
|May 18, 2015 at 06:48|
I do believe that sex before marriage is a sin and is only harmful, in *any* circumstance. The main gist of the issue is, sex is a beautiful, awesome thing that God created for a man and a woman to enjoy when they become one in marriage; the downside to that is, sex literally physically binds you to a person, so when you do it outside of marriage, and usually multiple times, you are physically binding yourself to a bunch of people. This causes complicated relationships and unnecessary heartache, because when you break up with or stop having sex with whoever you had sex with, you are still going to feel connected to them because of the effects sex has, and this will cause a lot of pain that you wouldn’t have felt had you not had sex. Also, once you have had sex once, you will want to keep having it, so even if you break up with your boyfriend or whoever, you will try to find someone to have sex with again, and that just leads to addiction and a whole lot of other complicated stuff.
Most women I encounter will argue that it’s okay to have sex with your boyfriend if you’re at a very serious place in the relationship (you know you’re going to marry him) and you’re both comfortable and ready for it. Actually, that is not a good idea or argument at all. Until there is a proposal and, later, vows have been said, there is *always* the chance that you will still end up breaking up with this person. No matter how serious you think it is, or how great the guy is, having sex is not going to be beneficial in any way until you are married and bound to each other so that you can enjoy it and grow closer through it.
God clearly intended sex to be done inside of marriage, and if you’re against that simple principle, you’re against God’s rules for us, which He only made for our benefit.
If anyone wants the Biblical side of it, I recommend reading this: http://www.gotquestions.org/sex-before-marriage.html
*Disclaimer: I 100% believe sex before marriage is sinful, however just like any other sin, it can be wiped clean by God. God can forgive and redeem you from sexual sin just as easily as lying or cheating. Someone who has had sex outside of marriage and repented should not be shamed or judged, and they are not “damaged goods”; they have simply made a mistake, asked for forgiveness, and been given redemption from that mistake. As for those who have sex before marriage and continue to do so without seeing that it’s wrong, they should definitely not be shamed either; rather, just as with any sin, it should be addressed in love so that they have the chance to understand that God offers grace and love.
Sorry this was so long; thank you for reading. 🙂
|May 18, 2015 at 07:54|
Personally, I believe that, as long as all participants are consenting, and of legal age, and it’s safe, sex is not a bad thing.
|May 18, 2015 at 21:31|
I believe that sex before marriage is wrong. Let me back up though. You’re right, sex is a beautiful gift from God. Too often teens in the church are taught that sex–all sex–is bad, but that’s not true. However, I believe that God designed sex for marriage between 1 man and 1 woman. I attend public high school. I’ve seen too many peers– guys and girls, Saved and non-believers, friends, acquaintances, and random people I pass in the hallway– who have been badly hurt because they chose to have sex, even in a “serious relationship”, because that relationship ended, or they got an STD, or they got pregnant and lost the baby, or had an abortion and regretted it, or gave the baby up for adoption, or kept the baby and lived a life of poverty. There are just too many variables when having sex outside of marriage, even if you’re in a serious relationship.
|May 19, 2015 at 06:21|
rainbowuni I think I agree with your take on it. As long as both parties involves are consenting and it is legal and everyone feels ready I think it is fine. I think that people need to stop putting the mindset on people that sex is bad and you shouldn’t do it, that will just make people do it more because you aren’t supposed too. And with them thinking its a bad thing they will feel guilty and won;t talk to anyone, So I don’t think its a bad thing before marriage.
|May 19, 2015 at 06:59|
i think as long as you both agree, and you’re in love with someone, then you should be able to have sex with them if you want, for me i didn’t do that, i just did a friends with benefits kind of thing when i was 16, which led to me getting pregnant and having a miscarriage. as long as there is love, i don’t see an issue
|May 19, 2015 at 07:50|
@rainbow, it’s been a while since I’ve been on; heyo! 🙂
Now, there’s no circumstance in which my point of view will be validated to you due to our differing opinions of the Bible. My view of sex is based fully on what the Bible says about it (refer to the link in my previous comment). Anything I say about sex is based on the idea that sex should be had with the one person that you will end up marrying. I think that’s kind of where our viewpoints break off, as forgive me if I misinterpret you, but you seem to be of the opinion that you can have sex at a serious point in a relationship, but it’s perfectly fine to have sex at a serious point in a different relationship if the former doesn’t work out. I simply believe sex is to be had with the one person you are going to spend your life with, and as many, many people have multiple serious relationships in their dating life, it’s just not a good idea to have sex simply because things are serious.
On the aspect of sex being healthy, yes, it is, however I see that as a testament to God’s intelligent creation of sex to be enjoyed at the right time in the right circumstance. Note those two things: time and circumstance. This may not be the best analogy, but it’s what came to mind…Wine [in moderation] is actually healthy. I need to be healthy right now at 14, right? So I can drink wine if I feel ready, right? Actually, no, because the first thing you have to consider when drinking is age, or time. However, when it’s an appropriate time for me to drink wine, I can do it whenever or wherever, right? I mean, if I go to a party, I’ve consented to come, I’m comfortable with the idea of drinking now, so I can start drinking? Technically, yes, but it really wouldn’t be a smart move because everyone around me is getting drunk and I could very easily get roped into that too, and it just isn’t a good environment to be drinking wine, especially for the first time.
|May 19, 2015 at 08:11|
I’m with you on this, Mandi. Why should we want to think sex in a serious relationship is okay if God doesn’t think so? Sex is a beautiful thing when shared between a married couple.
|May 19, 2015 at 10:24|
Mandi and Tori could not have said it better. As did faithful soul and 4ever
|May 19, 2015 at 15:58|
I feel that Mandi made a very logical point from a Biblical and an emotional standpoint. I feel that puberty does not mean you are old enough or mature enough for sex. So many girls believe that just because they have sexual desires means they are ready for sex. Sexual desires do not equal sexual maturity whatsoever. Sex outside of marriage can emotionally damage you. It may not at first, but over time it will. You are totally exposing yourself to someone else who you may or may not be with forever. What if you’re not with them forever? They are forever going to remember your naked body and how it felt against theirs. Also, would you like your boyfriend or fwb bragging to his friends about his sex life with you? Seriously, once you’re married it doesnt matter because literally everyone knows you’ve done it. What if you and your fwb or partner broke it off and they told the entire school/church/community the intimate details of your sex life? Are you ready for that? I know so many of you will come back saying “oh mature guys don’t do that, I trust the person I slept with..etc etc” But let me just tell you that people do dumb things when they are influenced by their emotions. Don’t trust someone 100% especially when it comes to YOUR body and YOUR sexual life. Also, only marry someone you can trust 100% 😉
|May 20, 2015 at 12:58|
And I also want to second Mandi’s point that sex binds you to someone forever. No, it does not mean you have to be with them forever, so don’t even give me that excuse, but it means emotionally. How would you feel if your future spouse abstained from sex until he was married and you didn’t? I’m positive that both God and your husband can forgive you for your past mistakes, but what if you can’t forgive yourself? What if during sex with your spouse, all you can remember is the emotional damage you felt while having sex with someone else? or perhaps you fantasize about one of your former lovers? Maybe one of your former lovers fantasizes about you. Sex binds you to someone else forever because you don’t just forget having sex with someone else and they don’t just forget about you.
Also, for those of you who have been sexually harassed or abused in the past, it is not your fault. You are not damaged goods and you are not ruined for life. What happened was tragic and God does not hold you accountable for rape or abuse whatsoever and I can promise you that the right man for you will not either. If you are also still struggling with pain from past abuse or rape, please seek help and remember that God is always there to comfort you.
Also, ladies who have had sex outside of marriage and are feeling guilty about it or want to repent, God is waiting with his arms open. As Mandi said, God wipes EVERY sin clear. You are not damaged goods, you are a wonderful daughter of an amazing King who loves you very much. Premarital sex, just like any other sin, can be forgiven 100%
|May 20, 2015 at 13:07|
I also once heard that people who have had premarital sex are never satisfied fully. Imagine how proud you will be on your wedding night.
|May 20, 2015 at 13:51|
@4everhis I think it’s important to note that things like pregnancy and STDs can be prevented with the use of condoms, and that it hurts to have a relationship end whether you’ve had sex with the person or not (even non-romantic relationships, ever lost a close friend?).
@f u I agree, pushing this idea that sex is bad (even if only outside of marriage) can be harmful…people internalize that, and it’s hard to get over the idea that sex=bad, even after they get married and it’s no longer “bad.” (Some people have even expressed this… http://www.xojane.com/sex/true-love-waits-pledge )
@Mandi I haven’t really been on in a while either…hi! 😀
|May 20, 2015 at 16:53|
(just like to say that I am so glad this is just everyone sharing their views and no one is getting mad at each other. lol)
|May 20, 2015 at 17:43|
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