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She doesn't really understand. ..

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  PolkaDot 9 months ago.

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verymuchagirl

verymuchagirl

So I was raised ultra-conservative (no tv, no internet-no makeup, haircuts, hairstylist, no pants, no shaving-anywhere-eww, I know and-etc). And, I would love to just dress sorta normal, ya know? There’s just one problem – I have the most wonderful mom in the world, and she really doesn’t understand why I would want to do something different than the way I was raised. I respect her so much, I dont know if I could conscientiously go against her, but I just feel so suffocated. Any advice?

April 5, 2016 at 19:10
Mandi_lee2014

Mandi_lee2014

Have you tried having a heart-to-heart and really trying to explain why you want to do certain things different? Like sit her down and tell her that you want to talk with her, explain that you completely respect her, and just wanted to bring up some things that you are feeling. And then explain why you want to change certain things. For instance, maybe you say “Mom, I really want to shave because personally I feel extremely uncomfortable with the body hair that I have. I believe I would feel more clean if I shaved, and that is why I would really like to openly discuss the possibility of me doing this”

The key is to not make it confrontational (I took interpersonal communications and relations classes) and to validate them, while explaining your views and needs.
But if that doesnt work, I have to say until you move out, it is their rules. As hard as it can be at times. But a conversation usually goes a long ways.

P.S. I wasn’t sure which ones you were wanting to change and I just took one that I felt would be an easy example.

April 5, 2016 at 20:15
verymuchagirl

verymuchagirl

Thank you, Mandi. I’m gonna try talking to her. She’s really a great mom.

April 6, 2016 at 04:25
PolkaDot

PolkaDot

Girrrl. My parents where that way for years! Finally they came out of it but it’s taken us years to come out of that fully.
I’d say Mandi has some good advice. I am wondering if you’re still living at home? if you live outside of your parents house this would make it easier to make some changes. And they might even understand more!

April 10, 2016 at 22:06
verymuchagirl

verymuchagirl

I’m only sixteen and don’t even have a job, as I am the third oldest of 11 children and have to help babysitting, cooking, laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc……………. So, @PolkaDot, to answer your question, yes – I definitely still live with my parents. And – please don’t take this wrong – I just have this need to vent my feelings from time to time. I love my family ever so much.

April 11, 2016 at 07:59
verymuchagirl

verymuchagirl

Wait – you mean you actually went through this and came out sane? Yeehaw!!!!!!!!!!! I guess there’s still hope for me.

P.S I’m not a genuine Texan, though I like to pretend I am. I was born and raised in Pennsylvania – we just moved to TX 2+ years ago. 🙂

April 11, 2016 at 08:06
PolkaDot

PolkaDot

I live in TX too! Have all my life. And I’m the 4th kid of 10. So we actually have some similarities. lol
I came out kinda sane. But trust me, it isn’t easy.
And we all love our families a lot but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t going to disagree with them sometimes. And ultra conservative Christianity isn’t for everyone. It certainly isn’t for me!
If you wanna talk my email is pookiedotted@gmail.com. Feel free to email me anytime. 🙂

April 11, 2016 at 10:04
verymuchagirl

verymuchagirl

Thanks for the email address. And the realization that there’s actually someone who’s been where I am. It’s kinda comforting, if ya know what I mean…

April 12, 2016 at 12:26
PolkaDot

PolkaDot

I totally know what you mean! 🙂

April 15, 2016 at 22:13
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