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Should I hold off on dating until I can overcome being attracted to others?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships Should I hold off on dating until I can overcome being attracted to others?

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Emilyitude 1 year, 9 months ago.

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RachelMeeko

RachelMeeko

I’ve been friends with this guy, Dean, for a while now, and after much praying and thinking, and talking to friends, I’ve decided that I want to date him. For a while, he’s wanted to move on in the relationship, but he told me if I just wanted to be friends, he was totally in for that, so that’s what we are. He’s been very respectful of what I want and am comfortable with, which has made just being friends wonderful. However, before I talk to my parents about if they would be alright with me dating him, I have just one issue. I find when I see an attractive guy, I often find myself thinking about how good looking he is and have a mini “crush.” It dies down within a few days, and I know I’m not serious about it during the moment, I just get taken away by how he looks. I don’t know if when I’m dating, and I see an attractive guy, will I just be taken away and be attracted to this other guy? It feels wrong, to be attracted to some random guy, when I’m serious about dating Dean. There are many things I love about him, but mainly we have similar interests, we don’t argue even if we disagree about something, he’s very nice to everyone, and is very respectful to me and is always checking up on me if he knows I’m upset. So while personality wise, I do believe this guy may be my match, I’m afraid that I will be attracted to other guys, but only for their looks. Is this something I need to overcome before I begin to date, or do I need to fight it as I begin dating and remind myself that looks aren’t nearly as important as who a person is in the inside, and that Dean truly cares about me and loves all the same things I do, and loves the Lord, and that’s what really matters?

February 22, 2015 at 19:37
emhen

emhen

Hi! I don’t think having an attraction for a random guy is wrong. I think it’s just kind of a natural thing. I’m not saying embrace it Everytime you feel an attraction haha but just try not to overthink it. When you dwell on it and let it become almost lustful, that’s when it’s not right. So feeling that initial attraction towards a person isn’t a problem and shouldn’t keep you from pursuing this relationship…unless you feel like you can’t control it and it will cause problems in your relationship by making you unfaithful in your thoughts. God says you can commit a sin in your heart but temptations aren’t sins, not at all so as long as you don’t dwell on those temptations or unfaithful thoughts I think you’ll be just fine. I’ll be praying for you!

February 27, 2015 at 19:06
Emilyitude

Emilyitude

Yeah, it’s wrong when it’s a lustful thought, but noticing that God made someone to be beautiful isn’t wrong. Because you think someone is good looking, does not mean you’re attracted to them, but of course you should think everyone is good looking because we’re all made in His image. Now that being said, don’t dwell on your “mini-crush” if you picture yourself with the random guy and think about it for a while afterwards. Notice someone attractive, smile, tell God good job making that one, and forget about it. I know when you see Dean, your mini-crush thing is probably actually a gigantic-crush and you are attracted to his look and his heart. So it’s basically not even the same thing.

February 28, 2015 at 22:03
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