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Shyness and Boys

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Petunia 1 year, 5 months ago.

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HopeInFrontOfMe

I am very introverted and I have been struggling lately with the issue of figuring out how to let out my emotions versus just embracing my shyness. I would say that I am extremely involved in my inner world — my ability to take into deep consideration the emotions of other people and myself is very high. I think that being so involved with my thoughts helps me connect with God more easily on a daily basis. However, shyness for me has some serious disadvantages. Whenever I try to start a conversation with someone, especially the boy I like, I get nervous and RED. Before my prom date (the boy I really like) came to my house for prom this year, I was a mess and my whole face, chest, and arms turned red and splotchy. If this has ever happened to you, you know that it’s literally the worst thing ever!! Anyways, I was so excited to go to prom with this boy, but throughout the night I had a hard time making conversation. He is a super genuine and sweet Christian boy, but I think he’s a little shy too. It wasn’t like I didn’t have anything to say, I just feel like I forget how to talk whenever I look at him. We have a class together, but he hasn’t really talked to me/texted me since prom, which has been making me so confused/sad lately. I’m wondering if he thinks I don’t like him, or if he just isn’t interested. If he liked me before prom, he didn’t really show it because he would only text me every once in a while and talk to me in class like once a week. I can’t read this boy which is kind of frustrating for me because normally I can read everyone. When we do talk though, he usually smiles a lot, laughs, and seems interested, so basically, he is the most confusing person I’ve ever met.

I guess I’m looking for advice on how to deal with shyness in general, and what to do when I get nervous around this boy. Also, what to do to let a boy know you like him when you’re as shy as me. Any advice would be very helpful, thank you so much!!

May 13, 2015 at 16:54
crazy4christ

crazy4christ

Hi well shyness is real tough, just give it time and don’t become obsessed with that boy give him space its real important to do and to take it slow try to talk about school in general I know its hard but give it a try, you don’t have to let him know right away if you like him. Real important pray about it, God gives the best advice ever. Lastly be the real you, you are a beautiful princess of God.

May 16, 2015 at 12:40
Project Inspired

Godsgirl2014

Hi I agree shyness is really tough along with the rest of what crazy4christ said. My advice to you is when you talk to this guy just be yourself and when it comes to the shyness try to get out of your comfort zone one thing that I did in 10th grade a few years ago(I’m in 12th grade now) is I joined the leadership team in my youth group and that really helped me overcome my shyness. 🙂 I suggest that you pray and think about what you can do to get out of your comfort zone a little bit. I hope this helps. 🙂

May 22, 2015 at 13:50
Petunia

Petunia

Hi! Wow, do I know how you feel. Talking, something we do every day, can be so difficult when we have to do it with a certain person. Anyway, I wrote a post on tips for becoming a better conversationalist. Better at talking to people, basically. You can read it here: https://damselsdigress.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/5-tips-for-becoming-a-better-conversationalist/

But I’ve got a few more tips specifically for you. When you’re talking with him, realize that it’s OK not to be making eye contact the whole time. Look at something that’s going on around you, but look back at him every once in a while. Eye contact can be very distracting, especially when you’re trying to talk, and ESPECIALLY when you really like the person you’re talking to. Also speaking of eye contact, it’s a great way to let someone know that you like them. You can just tell him, obviously, but there are subtler ways. Casual touch is a good way (touching his arm, etc.) to let someone know that you are comfortable and enjoy being around them. When you get nervous, take deep breaths, and ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen in this situation? Often you’ll find it’s not that bad. Lastly, PLAN. If you know that you’re going to see him, and you know that you have trouble thinking of things to say when you do see him, think of things ahead of time that you know will be natural and interesting. That’s it! Sorry this is late, but I hope that it can still help you in some way 🙂

June 26, 2015 at 12:52
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