Hi girls. How is life? So, I have been having kind of a hard time lately… things have been better though, with a secure enough job situation and I haven’t self-harmed or tried to do anything I would regret as of a few months ago.
So, I realize I have a job, which I should be thankful for, but lately, I’ve just been feeling…. unworthy and frustrated… I know, two very unrelated emotions. But, here’s the deal…
I am stuck at a humble community college and still live at home. I like the college well enough, but ugghh… a bunch of my friends and basically everyone I do theater with is at William Jessup… I’m SUPPOSED to be there, I even got a scholarship, but I still can’t afford it. They have a great theater program too! I’m so upset I can’t be in their plays, and my mom only said I can go there for two years, bc it’s so expensive. 🙁 Everyone seems to be going off to college and having a great time… I’m so mad about my community college situation! I hate saying, “Well, I’m at the humble Sierra College, but I should be at Jessup, but we can’t afford that.” Life is just so unfair at times.
Which brings me to the next topic… I know lots of girls can say the same thing, but at 19 years of age, I don’t and never have had a guy pursuing me. I feel unworthy all the time and feel like I just can’t stand myself. Is something wrong with me? One of my best guy friends, I could picture something between us, and told him how I felt, but of course he’s moving to Idaho. Why wouldn’t he be? I just feel like all I hear is girls casually say, “my boyfriend this, my boyfriend that…” I’m just so frustrated that guys just seem to reject me (I have confessed to a handful of guys, yeah they all ran, symbolically… or have had another girlfriend. Grrr!!!) All my friends have had some special guy pursuing them, currently do, etc. I’ve never even been asked to a stupid dance before! I’m the only girl at my church who is and has been single… I’m concerned about myself… Maybe I’m doing it all wrong. Maybe i’m too ambitious. I just can’t figure things out right now…
In a summary, I just feel so confused, upset, and restless. I really could use advice right now. Thank you so much.
|April 18, 2016 at 22:31|
Hey Girl! I just want you to know that I am glad you posted this! So listen up! I get what you are feeling about your JC. There are alot of things my parents cant afford for me either that involve my dreams. I also want you to know that you are not alone in this single journey. You see the bottom line is it doesn’t matter If boys like you or not. You have a man in heaven whos flesh was ripped off his back for you. He carried a wooden cross up a mountain for you and was nailed to it for three days. He loves you so much he takes the rejection you give him daily. There is no better love then that. Maybe you will be single forever or meet a nice man soon. If you dont it just means that he is to jealous for you and wants to keep you for himself and have you serve him later on:) Consider yourself special! It is good to be single it means God needs you more than others (not that he still doesn’t need people who arnt single.) I hope this helped you! I know you have probably heard this a million times but its true:) I hope you see that soon:) Heres a link to an article I wrote awhile ago that might help:)
|April 19, 2016 at 12:20|
I totally get this. I am 20 now, and while I have a slew of mental issues, I definitely deal with the exact same feelings and pretty often.
|April 19, 2016 at 20:33|
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