I’m in the IB program, and at my school it’s like a separate little clique since everyone has pretty much the same schedule (everyone has at the very minimum 3 classes with each other). Anyways, I used to have this tight group of friends, but lately I’ve been excluded. I’ve been noticing that they stop their exclusion when something major like a huge history test is coming up. They always make plans, pass notes, etc. right in front of me and make it notoriously obvious while the teacher’s back is turned. I’ve tried to fit in; everyone else already has their little groups (and getting into an already unofficially established group seems impossible).
Today, the friends I had were laughing about something, and naturally, I tried to laugh along and kinda go with it, but right when I joined, they just jumped on to me and said I was “laughing at something that shouldn’t be laughed about”. Pretty much, every time I confront them, their excuses are “I didn’t get much sleep last night”, “I’m tired”, etc. and yet if I tell them about a problem I have, they just tell me to suck it in.
I can deal with everyday exclusion, but there’s one thing I’m kind of starting to (literally) panic about: group work. Group-work is pretty common in IB (at least in here), and pretty much the groups are self-assigned. Most people assume I’m close with my “group”, so they kind of leave it as that. However, I’m tired of carrying the weight of group projects and everything. For the past semester or so, I’ve been doing most of the work, buying all of the supplies, creating all of the ideas, etc., yet my friends are the ones who are doing the critiquing. I have a project coming up, and they’re trying to evade it as much as possible. I’m freaking out so badly and this whole friend situation is making me contemplate suicide because I don’t know where I went wrong. I wish I did. I like to think of a rational world where everything happens for a reason, and I can’t find a reason; therefore, I believe if I can’t find a reason, I must be the reason.
I still can’t figure out why out of all people, my friends try to use me as a library. My grades are all-right I guess (I have all A’s, B’s, and a couple C+’s), and there are, I know, pupils with stellar grades. I am visually an uncoordinated lil’ piece of rubbish. I’m just so confused.
|February 16, 2015 at 16:08|
You sound like an amazing person! I don’t know why anyone would want to exclude you! Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong, and it could be a problem with them. I had a situation at school where a kid was being mean to me at school and making it obvious he didn’t like me in like really rude ways. Then a friend told me he had family issues. (He was also rude to another kid, so I wasn’t the only one). That situation also made me contemplate suicide, but I’m glad I didn’t. I found people who were there all along who I never noticed before. So please don’t do that. God put you on this earth and he will give you friends that will love you; Matthew 10:40 “Whoever is accepting me is accepting of you”. Hope this helps! I’m praying for you
|February 17, 2015 at 19:34|
I am actually going through a pretty similar situation. Recently I have began to feel like the friends I have at school are not really my friends and are excluding me. I felt like I didn’t belong because they thought I was a “goody-goody”. I began to feel very left out and even changed myself to try to fit in. It didn’t help, in fact it made it worse. I laughed a little when you said you laughed at their joke even though you didn’t know what it was because I used to do the same thing! I don’t know if you will believe this but you know what really helped? Talking to my mom about it. This really put things in perspective for me. I started to pray about it (they were short, lame little prayers) but God heard and he has been making me more included by those same people! I have been completely amazed because the days that I decided to be myself are the days I have felt the most included! The best part however, is that I barely even care anymore! I couldn’t care less honestly if those people accept me or not now no matter how cool they think they are. I have decided to be who God wants be to be and it’s really hard but I am starting to trust Him to bring me the right friends. He wants to do the same for you. I am really sorry if your “friends” are taking advantage of you. Don’t let them! I know it’s hard because you want them to accept you, but if you let them push you around they will not accept you more, they will put you below them and that is not where you belong! If I were you I would just tell them that you would like to work with someone else on this project since you work with them a lot and ask someone else to be your partner! You could end up making a totally great new friend! My advice is talk to your mom or youth group leader or another trusted adult. Pray. And be yourself. Try it, for one day. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Also, you could try telling them how you feel. I wouldn’t tell them all at once because everyone is usually more cocky in a group but take your closest girl-friend from the group and have a serious talk with her. If it isn’t worth that then you might want to consider looking for new friends 🙂 Hang in there. The best is yet to come. Some day you’ll look back on this and it will be nothing. I’m praying for you.
|February 18, 2015 at 04:04|
Awe thanks girls! I’m actually inviting them overnight this Friday, so hopefully by spending the night, we can kinda break down some barriers and be a bit more honest with each other. Thanks so much!! xx
|February 18, 2015 at 14:14|
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