Well, I have officially lost two friends in the last few months. Y’all knew about the other situation I was going through, but the other day, I had issues with another friend. I have known this girl for a long time, and we used to be pretty close. But we kind of drifted apart, though we are still friends, just not as close as we used to be. Anyway, when we were younger, we were pretty different. I wasn’t allowed to watch (nor was I interested in watching) most of the stuff that she enjoyed, and sometimes her family tried to convince me that it would be ok to watch it at their house since my mom wasn’t around. (keep in mind that this family is a Christian one). And I told them that it wasn’t ok, and that I had no interest in watching said movies. I actually went as far as to ask my friend (nicely) to quit talking about these movies because it started to bother me a lot. One of these films (or film series) was Pirates of the Caribbean. And while I made it clear that I didn’t really agree with some of their media choices, I also made it clear that they could watch what they wanted and that I didn’t look down on them or judge them for it (which was true) Anyhoo, fast forward several years, and my mom gives me the green light to watch POTC. I had seen the first one already, and the other day I went ahead and skipped to the 4th one. I liked it a lot and posted something of Facebook about it, and this friend commented on my status in a confrontational manner, asking me why it was ok for me to watch and not for her. I sent her a private message and explained that my mom gave me permission since I was mature enough and such, and also asked her nicely not to use that kind of tone. I deleted her comment because some of my friends would have taken it as her attacking me, and would (in the interest of defending me) probably have tried arguing with her. Anyway, next thing I know, she sends me an angry message about how I judge her and think I am a better Christian than her. (At this point I was so confused and frustrated because she wasn’t getting what I was trying to say) And then she brings up a blog post I did recently about being a good friend, and says that maybe I should take lessons on being a good friend and to quit looking down on her.
*breathes deeply* So, anyway, I just needed to let out that stress. I calmly told her that if that was how she felt, then I was thankful for her honesty, but I also had to tell her again that she was reading into the situation wrongly. People who know me usually know that if I say something that sounds like I am judging, they should assume that I am not judging, because that is not my intention when I speak. But I don’t think she got that, or she is just hearing what she wants to hear. Have any of y’all been through similar circumstances? Because I wanted to throw my phone against the wall and bang my head on my desk and then get a punching bag and work of my frustration. I plan to stand by my convictions, but I am so tired of losing friends because I have a personal belief about what is right or wrong for me, even when I am not forcing anyone to think the way I do. GRRRRRRR. Now I need ice cream….. xD
|December 2, 2014 at 06:57|
Although I’ve never lost any friends in my life ( and I don’t have any myself) I can say, just be nice to her even in she isn’t herself. Your patience and good character will most definitely shine out to her. Perhaps if you can’t actually talk to her, send her a text, letter, or message telling her what you really think of her but don’t forget to put what you like about her as we’ll and how you would want to be her friend still. I know friendships can be very stressful, but persevere- you’ll have permanent friends who’ll stay with you as time passes. Never forget to take a break and relax yourself because the world and it’s pressures are indeed stressful.
|December 3, 2014 at 08:35|
I’ve been messaging her! 🙂 And thanks for the advice. I am going to church tonight after an even more stressful day, and church is like a (excuse the dramaticness) balm to my soul. I just feel so much peace when I get to worship and fellowship.
|December 3, 2014 at 10:05|
That’s awesome then, I hope everything will be back to normal soon 🙂
|December 3, 2014 at 16:28|
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