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Struggling

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Mikayla Grace 1 year, 9 months ago.

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lexicaldwell

lexicaldwell

Okay so I’m Lexi and heres a link to my testimony: well, anyways, here lately I’ve been struggling with my faith a lot. I don’t really know how to explain it. I’ve been having a lot of temptation lately (which most of it I’ve fallen into.) I feel like I’m under attack tbh. Anything from boys, to smoking, to cussing. I’ve actually been cutting again and it doesn’t feel good. I’m upset with myself. Also, I’ve been falling into temptation with friends – being rude to other people etc. It’s all been hitting me hard lately; and I haven’t been to church in two weeks because I feel ashamed I guess. I’ve gotten away from doing my daily devotions too. I just in a way feel like God’s upset with me…..I really need some help. How do I get back how I was – a happy Christian nice to everyone girl?

December 15, 2014 at 22:32
lilyknuckles

lilyknuckles

-I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25-
I have been struggling with feeling like God is upset with me too, and I know that it is very hard!!! I just wanted to remind you of this verse about how God forgets our sins when we ask him for forgiveness. I know it is really hard to remember and sometimes you just feel really bad. I have also been struggling with quiet times too, I haven’t really done any at all lately! I know it is really hard, but normally when i struggle with staying on track, church helps me kind of get re-energized! You have no reason to be ashamed because everyone struggles and falls down sometimes! (: At one really low point in my life, I also self harmed, and i really want to encourage you to stop, because it is SOOO not worth it in the end! I know that sometimes it feels like the only way to feel better, but i promise you it will get better! It actually ends up hurting you, and people around you. I definitely agree that you are under attack so I want you to know that if you need ANYTHING I’m here! I hope you feel better, and I will PRAY PRAY PRAY for you!!!
-It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. Deuteronomy 31:8-
(I apologize for spelling and my lack of capitalization) <3

December 17, 2014 at 20:41
Rockchick15

Rockchick15

Hi, I just read your post and can totally relate to what your struggling with. I’ve been finding it really hard to connect with God and spend time with him. I used to self harm too. I did it for 8 months and I really regret it. Now that I’ve stopped I’ve realised that even though I though it was helping it wasn’t, it just caused more problems. Please try to stop, because you’re worth more than hurting yourself, you are sssooo loved by God and his heart breaks when we cut. Something that helped me ago cutting was the scripture that says your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and this means God gave us our bodies to care for and look after it. We also are saying that what Jesus did on the cross is not good enough. If you ask God to take your hurt or addictions he will and God forgives you when you repent. I hope this helped and I pray things will get better for you:)

December 24, 2014 at 12:28
Mikayla Grace

Mikayla Grace

Hey Lexi! First things first, YOU ARE SO STINKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, now on to everything else….Girl, I can totally relate. Because of things that have happened in my past, a few months ago I started to doubt God’s existence. I knew in my mind that He existed, but I didn’t know it in my heart. Sure, if anyone asked me what I believed in as far as religion goes, I would have said I was a Christian. But it got to the point that I started to think that all the times that God had made Himself real to me were just part of my imagination. That I had just conjured a feeling or emotion, or saw something in the Spirit. Now I am not saying that I still don’t feel that way sometimes, but if I do start feeling that way I almost immediately will turn on some worship music and pray and soak in His presence or read the Bible. Back when I was having doubts about myself people at church would tell me how much I just shone with God’s presence. I would always think, what the heck? I didn’t feel like His presence was on me. During worship I would honestly try hard to praise God and get connected with Him, but my mind would keep getting distracted by other things, some of which were not Godly at all. So after going through this for about six months, I finally got up the courage to talk to my mom. I told her that I didn’t understand how I used to be able just hop right in to God’s presence without a single thought and now I couldn’t. I also told her that even though I had been praying for what seemed like FOREVER, I still wasn’t getting the healing and confirmation I had been seeking for quite some time. She then proceeded to tell me that God hadn’t stopped speaking to me. He hadn’t stopped listening to me. He was still there. The problem was me. I had closed my ears and couldn’t hear His voice as well as I used too. I had been so busy with my school, friends, photography, and the TV show, that I hadn’t been making time for Him. I also had been watching A LOT of movies and TV shows lately, some of which had many things in them that were not Godly. Swearing was one of them. And now, because of those movies and TV shows that I had been watching, whenever something happens to make me mad or when I stub my toe, I don’t say it out loud, but my mind says a bad word before I know what I’m doing. Thankfully I haven’t said anything out loud yet, but because of the bad choices I made in being around certain people and watching certain things, it had effected my relationships with people and God. Since then, I have limited my time watching things and have spent more of my time just being with God. Mom also advised me not to do all the talking when I’m spending time with Him. Let Him minister to you too.
Okay, do you know anyone whom you can trust? Your youth pastor, spiritual mentor, pastor, mom, dad, good friend? I would advise that you find someone you can trust and won’t judge or laugh at you. Tell them about your struggles, and ask them to pray for you. You can be sure that at at least one point in their lives they went through something similar. For me, I have several people whom I trust and can talk to, and I have several girls that I am a spiritual mentor for. It isn’t always easy, but by sharing what you are feeling with others often times relieves some of the depression, shame, guilt, or insecureness that you might feel. I felt so much better when I told my mom how I was feeling. She told me that it wan’t just me that was having a hard time. She had gone through some terrible stuff too and finally was able to get back on track. Thankfully I have an awesome mom whom I am really close too, she didn’t.
One more thing, GOD ABSOLUTELY ADORES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. He isn’t upset. He is absolutely head over heels in LOVE with you! Personally I don’t think that God can get upset or mad at you. Sure, I think He can be disappointed when you do something He doesn’t like, but He’s not up there thinking, “Ohhhhh….. there’s Lexi…doing that thing again…..”. God isn’t like that. He loves you!!!!!!

Anyway, I hope that made just a little bit of sense. Please understand that if it sounds judgemental or preachy, it was totally NOT meant that way. Quite the opposite in fact!

Mikayla Grace

P.S. If you don’t have someone you can trust or feel comfortable around, please don’t hesitate to contact me if you want a mentor or just need someone to talk to. You can find me on Twitter: MiKayKayschmitt and Instagram: mikayla_schmitt if you don’t have either of those, my email is mg.schmitt491@gmail.com.

February 14, 2015 at 19:21
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