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Suffocating?

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  ChildofGod_822 1 year, 9 months ago.

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ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

Hey girls! I just wanted to say thanks for always being there for me! It means a lot and it makes getting through some of my struggles easier. I will always be here for you guys as well! In Sunday school, we have been talking about following Jesus as friends together. I love my youth group, but I also feel like not a lot of kids are reaching out to me. Only a couple really close girlfriends. I love that! Though I just wish more people would. Is that bad? Earlier this year, I’ve been scared to talk to people, and now I’m gaining the courage. I feel the love of God and my friends so nothing can go wrong. I don’t know why I acted so shy, maybe because I’ve always been and thought it was cute? I was finally confident enough to talk to my crush today. I’ve really liked him since forever, and I think we would be good together. I’ve prayed about it. I was going to ask how his Valentine’s day was today, but when I tapped him on the shoulder, he walked away 🙁 and he doesn’t always respond to me on Facebook. I saw him at a play at my school yesterday and he smiled and blushed. I almost imagined going up and hugging him. In a way, he reminds me of a younger brother <3 I have some kids over from my youth group every once in a while. I try to invite him, but he never responds. And my mom said if he hasn't come over yet, he probably won't. What went wrong? Last year he was so nice to me. He always made sure I was included in group conversations, he paid attention to me and sometimes stared or looked at me, was a little jealous if I noticed another guy or a guy friend, and I noticed sometimes he would walk past me and be so happy! What do you think? Do you think he still likes me? He called me a friend once. I don't know what to do anymore…I'm really not liking being a senior because last year everyone, including him, reached out to me more and now they're not. I honestly loved the feeling of people taking me under their wing. It's scary to be by yourself! Plus I think he thought it was cute me, as a junior, liked a freshman. Now it might not be? 🙁 I'm not creepy or a stalker. I just do my own thing. I pray and journal a lot. I also like to read and play the guitar and the piano. Advice is greatly appreciated!

February 15, 2015 at 12:07
ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

Also, he had a party at his house for Valentine’s day, but didn’t invite me

February 15, 2015 at 12:09
freedomlights

freedomlights

Hi! (:

Well, first off, I can say what I think, but since I’m not him and I can’t read his mind or motives, take what I say with a grain of salt. You know him better than I do—I’m just commenting based off of the paragraph you wrote.

Anyways, no, I don’t think it’s bad that you wish more people would reach out to you. I used to be pretty shy, and I always wished people would just walk up to me and start a conversation. In truth, though, quiet people can sometimes be intimidating to others—they don’t know what to say to you, and if you don’t talk much, you kind of slip under the social radar. As I’ve become more outgoing, I’ve found the value of sometimes taking a risk and approaching someone first. It’s pretty scary to do at the start, but it gets easier. There’s nothing wrong with being shy, but you shouldn’t let nerves get in the way of meeting new people and experiencing the life God gave you.

As for the guy… Hmm. I honestly can’t tell you what happened, because I have no insight into this guy’s mind. Walking away when you went up to talk to him seems a bit rude, but if he was nervous for any reason, that might have been his automatic response. Nerves could mean he’s interested but doesn’t know how to deal with it; or he knows you like him, he’s not interested in you, and he’s too reserved to say anything so he just tries to ignore you. Not the best approach, but sometimes that’s just what comes naturally. Also, if you message him and try to talk to him constantly, he could view that as a little weird. Guys aren’t quite as chatty as girls, and most guys I’m friends with really hate small-talk. You said he had a party but didn’t invite you, and he doesn’t come over when invited? Honestly, to me, it doesn’t really sound like he’s interested. ): Most guys, even if they’re shy, would at least invite you somewhere or go when invited. Most people want to spend time with the person they like, and unless he’s ridiculously shy, I don’t see why he wouldn’t at least make an effort.

You could always try laying your cards out and telling him exactly how you feel—I did that once, and even though he wasn’t interested in me, it put an end to my stupid over-thinking game, and we’re actually still friends. I just let him know that I liked him, and even though I knew he wasn’t interested, he was extremely polite about it and said thanks for telling him because it was probably hard to do. He’s a year older so he’s graduated, but I still see him around and we’re still friends. If you think it would help give you a little closure, you could tell him something like that. If he’s at all decent, he’ll at least have the respect to let you down gently and be sweet about it. Otherwise, he’s not really the type of guy you want to be with anyways.

Sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s just what I think. God bless. (:

February 16, 2015 at 07:48
ChildofGod_822

ChildofGod_822

Thank you! That’s actually probably what I needed to hear! I don’t know if I could talk to him if he walked away 🙁 How would you do it? Did I make him not like me by trying to talk to him? I just wish a guy would like me because friendships all the time gets a little boring. And thanks for understanding and your advice about talking to people!

February 16, 2015 at 13:49
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