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Talking to my parents makes me anxious

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends College Girls Girl Talk Talking to my parents makes me anxious

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  marisa145 10 months, 1 week ago.

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AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

First things first: I really do love my parents, and they have done a lot for me, but they are really hard to get along with, and extremely hard to talk to.

They are hyper-rule based and growing up I had all sorts of strange rules i had to follow that were supposedly Christian but really just –frankly– crazy. For instance, I wasn’t allowed to watch anything on TV aside from shows like “I love Lucy” and “The Beverly Hillbillies” and wasn’t allowed to listen to anything besides hymns (because rock music was the devil’s music) It was a huge, huge deal when my mom finally decided contemporary Christian music was OK to listen to when I was 11. I wasn’t even allowed to eat Lucky Charms.

Public School was basically the Devil’s playground and anyone who went there was soon to be sucked into worldly ways (and really we were better than them–if they were good Christians they wouldn’t be in public school ahem) so best to avoid any one who went to public school (I was homeschooled)

Disney (books/movies) was terribly wicked and I wasn’t allowed to read fairytales or watch anything related (not even Mary Poppins). Basically everything was “bad”.

Ok so I share all this because #1, I’ve never told anyone and I need to vent, (so thanks for reading and letting me do that 😉 ) and #2, to demonstrate the condemning, anxiety producing atmosphere of my house.

My parents are really negative and I always feel really terrible and guilty around them.

So anyway, I’m applying to school for the fall and I need them to help me out on a couple things so I can get financial aid for school, but it’s just so hard to be around them. They say they want me to go to college but they certainly don’t prove that with their actions. When I ask them for help they drag their feet, complain, or just downright refuse to help. I didn’t have a guidance counselor in high school so figuring out applying for school and financial aid by myself has already been stressful and my parents’ attitude isn’t helping any.

January 29, 2016 at 15:52
marisa145

marisa145

Hey girlie, so I have kind of a similar relationship with my parents. Mine weren’t exactly quite as strict as yours were when it came to rules about what I could and couldn’t watch and what I couldn’t and couldn’t listen to mainly because my mom grew up in kind of a more agnostic environment with strict parents and my dad grew up in a Pentecostal church with his mom in a staff role there and a crazy strict upbringing. HOWEVER. That did not stop them from instilling some pretty toxic ideals while I was growing up. I’m the oldest and therefore the guinea pig child. A lot of things got twisted around when they tried to not do what their parents did before them.

I was basically told that I was going to the university I’m currently at and I would just have to suck it up. Now though, whenever there’s a problem that’s wholly the university’s fault, I just throw it back in their face that they’re the ones that made me go there (it’s kind of a selfish booster but oh well not the point haha). I totally understand what you mean when you say they’re really negative and make you feel guilty. Only this year (at almost 20 years old) have I started to say “this is what I want, and this is what I’m going to do” and to be perfectly honest, going to them and starting off with “this is what I feel God is calling me to do” might soften their hearts a bit to a rational discussion.

I also am financially dependent on my parents, just apply for the FAFSA as soon as you can and you’d be surprised with how much aid you could get. Even if that means student loans but I know that sounds scary HOWEVER federal student loans are seriously the easiest ones to pay back. They’re very straight forward in terms of repayment schedule, interest, and so on.

Sorry if I got kind of rambly in the middle but the biggest piece of advice that I could give you is to pray about it and especially ask God to soften their hearts to what you have to say when it comes to college decisions.

January 31, 2016 at 14:12
MayaAlice

MayaAlice

Sup AdventureTime,
I am homeschooled too, though my parents are not strict. I defiteley grew up different though- most of my friends are wayyy older than me, since I only hang out with my parent’s friends. First things first, remember that you are NOT guilty, and that your parents love you in their own weird way.
You probably already know that lol but a lot of my friends who have parents like your’s grew up to be incredibly insecure. It really affected them when they went to college, because they did not know what to believe or who to hang out with- or even what to do. Be careful if you decide to move out- there are a lot of bad people in dorms that will try to get you to do things that is satanic. A LOT of my friends fell for that, and did stuff they said they would NEVER do, like getting touched (in sexual areas) by someone who was not their boyfriend or getting drunk and wasted.
Like what Marisa said, just apply for fafsa and talk to the college office that you plan on going to. When I was applying for my community college for dual enrollment, I completely relied on the office lady and called her almost 15 times a day (for like the entire week)…. I completely annoyed her, but I did what I had to do because I had no idea where to start!
Regardless of what you do, you are probably going to have to ask your parents, at least for the tax info and application processing. I know my older brother asked our grandparents instead, and now they are giving him his financial needs for college, but that is not doable for everybody. Just be strong girl, and remember that God is with you in your struggles!

March 10, 2016 at 11:58
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