First things first: I really do love my parents, and they have done a lot for me, but they are really hard to get along with, and extremely hard to talk to.
They are hyper-rule based and growing up I had all sorts of strange rules i had to follow that were supposedly Christian but really just –frankly– crazy. For instance, I wasn’t allowed to watch anything on TV aside from shows like “I love Lucy” and “The Beverly Hillbillies” and wasn’t allowed to listen to anything besides hymns (because rock music was the devil’s music) It was a huge, huge deal when my mom finally decided contemporary Christian music was OK to listen to when I was 11. I wasn’t even allowed to eat Lucky Charms.
Public School was basically the Devil’s playground and anyone who went there was soon to be sucked into worldly ways (and really we were better than them–if they were good Christians they wouldn’t be in public school ahem) so best to avoid any one who went to public school (I was homeschooled)
Disney (books/movies) was terribly wicked and I wasn’t allowed to read fairytales or watch anything related (not even Mary Poppins). Basically everything was “bad”.
Ok so I share all this because #1, I’ve never told anyone and I need to vent, (so thanks for reading and letting me do that 😉 ) and #2, to demonstrate the condemning, anxiety producing atmosphere of my house and why it’s so hard to talk to them.
My parents are really negative and I always feel really terrible and guilty around them.
So anyway, I’m applying to school for the fall and I need them to help me out on a couple things so I can get financial aid for school, but it’s just so hard to be around them. They say they want me to go to college but they certainly don’t prove that with their actions. When I ask them for help they drag their feet, complain, or just downright refuse to help. I didn’t have a guidance counselor in high school so figuring out applying for school and financial aid by myself has already been stressful and my parents’ attitude isn’t helping any.
|January 29, 2016 at 15:52|
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