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Thank God I'm a Virgin (Or he probably wouldn't want me) Thoughts?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions Thank God I'm a Virgin (Or he probably wouldn't want me) Thoughts?

This topic contains 8 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  AdventureGirl 1 year, 6 months ago.

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Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

“I hope she never knows you wouldn’t have wanted her
If she wasn’t a virgin.
Cause everybody knows a girl is only as valuable
As the men who haven’t touched her.
Only as desirable as the experiences she hasn’t had.
But baby, when you get to her,
She better know what to do in bed.
She better satisfy your wildest pornographic fantasies,
Know all the right ways to move
Body parts she has never had the chance to use.
Cause God would never fail you, right?
You waited on his timing, now he owes you.
Anything less is not the bill of goods they sold you.”
(The typical “remain a virgin and you’ll have grrreaatt sex on you wedding night! Don’t know what to do? Don’t worry, it’ll come naturally!” lie purity culture is always feeding us.)

Purity culture is harmful and has done a lot of damage and I’m starting to see some of it’s myths surface here, on this website.

I am reminding you girls that
*Your worth doesn’t lie in your hymen.
*You are not damaged goods or a chewed up piece of gum… any other object that pastor will try to compare you to if you have sex before marriage.
*Sex doesn’t bind you to that person forever. If that was the case, breakups, cheating, and divorce wouldn’t happen.

Your choice to wait needs to be YOUR choice, not
*I’m scared I’ll go to hell
*I’ll be impure if don’t

Sex isn’t bad. If it is, then it’s wrong all the time. Marriage won’t it *mAGicaLlY* turn it good.


May 21, 2015 at 07:50


While you do have a good point in that sex isn’t bad at all whatsoever, the bible does specifically warn us against sexual impurity. In God’s eye sex does bind you to a person until you or your partner die. I believe that God told us not to have sex before marriage was for our benefit. (And I’m not just talking about the ladies) There are physical and emotional problems that come with sleeping around. It’s not a healthy life style for you as a person. I’m not advocating slut shaming or sex shaming and I do not believe that if you sleep with someone outside of marriage that you are doomed to hell. I’m just saying that both males and females should save sex for marriage. It’s safer for everyone. The risk for STD’s goes down considerably and the emotional damage when you need to break up with someone isn’t as hard when you haven’t slept with person simply because sex is the most intimate thing in a relationship.

May 21, 2015 at 16:23
Mandi Pi

Mandi Pi

Okay, why do people seem to think that people who believe that sex is for marriage also HAVE to believe everything up ^^^ there? I dislike that you’re stereotyping people that believe sex is for marriage.

I know the whole deal with this article: http://www.xojane.com/sex/true-love-waits-pledge But that is not what God intended for us, and it is not the case with everyone. Things like that happen because it’s a messed up world, and people’s sinful nature causes them to twist around God’s word and put our self worth on things other than how God defines us. Sex is for marriage, but our self worth does not lie in virginity, and someone believing otherwise is ~*NOT*~ due to the belief of sex being for marriage, it is due to the sinful nature that twists that belief to an extreme it never should have gone to. I hate that people like the lady in the article grow up in an environment that ends up making them feel shamed, but that is not going to make me back down on my belief about what God (very clearly) says. The fact is, God wants the absolute best for us, so the Bible would not have said sex was for marriage if that was going to be harmful.

And yes, sex isn’t going to magically perfect and amazing the first time you do it, but that is NOT a valid reason to do it outside of marriage.

May 22, 2015 at 07:39
McKayla Denise

McKayla Denise

I’m 16 years old and having a baby soon, and I just wanna say, I think it’s best to wait. I agree with everything Mandi PI said. There’s a REASON sex is better to wait for in marriage. It can prevent things such as, oh idk, a 16 year old mom, abortions, STD’s. Purity set aside we can go off the simple fact that it’s physically harmful to have sex before marriage. It’s unsafe. Multiple partners is an STD waiting to happen. But back to purity, waiting for sex is a good biblical principal that people tend to take way out of context for some reason. I really don’t understand how Christians can call themselves Christians, yet argue and disagree with the Bible. But that’s just my personal opinion. All I have to say is, there’s a reason Mary was a virgin.

May 22, 2015 at 08:09
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

This post wasn’t saying you should (or shouldn’t) have sex before marriage. It was more focusing on the harmful effects of purity culture and erasing shame. I clearly said it’s your choice, just make sure it’s for the right reasons.

May 22, 2015 at 08:21


I like what you say about the whole purity culture. Christianity today (art least at the churches I left) seem to idolize purity, virginity and modesty. And I feel like such an emphasis on that causes people to desire that image so they feel “right with God.” And I feel like such a pressure to do everything by a strict purity code rather than assessing each situation, spending time in one’s spiritual dessert and brokenness and having nothing but faith in Christ to hold you causes inauthenticity in the Church.

May 28, 2015 at 22:13


Vessel, you’re my favorite girl. This so much
So much of purity culture is spent on shaming girls who don’t abstain, and not even talking about the good things that come with abstaining, or whatever enedits one gets by waiting. It becomes a judgement of character and a way for people to take a really harmful high ground over other women, and a lot of it is highly patriarichal. It’s pretty bad as a cultural construct, I totally agree

May 29, 2015 at 08:49


“Sex isn’t bad. If it is, then it’s wrong all the time. Marriage won’t it *mAGicaLlY* turn it good”

I disagree. It’s not that black and white; if it is, then by that logic (assuming sex is good) it should be fine to be married and have sex with someone who isn’t your husband.

Sex should be between a husband and a wife because it makes you closer. Yes, it’s for pleasure and pro-creation. Both of those are important. But I believe it’s main purpose is to cause your relationship to reach a deeper level, so that the two of you can become one. (Mark 10:8)

May 29, 2015 at 11:46


I agree with you about purity culture though. Actually, many Christian sub-cultures disturb me. (Particularly Christian Patriarchy and the Quiverfull movement).

People make idols out of virgins, “modesty” and purity. When we worship anything or anyone but God, there’s bound to be trouble.

I find it interesting that so many Christians are obsessed with virginity when the Bible doesn’t even focus on it that much (as far as I can tell). It mentions virgins several times, but mainly just to point out they hadn’t had sex yet. (If I’m wrong and there’s a bunch of verses I missed, please let me know!)

Also, comparing a woman who’s had sex to a messed up object is absurd. Would you ever compare Queen Esther of the bible to a chewed up piece of gum? Of course not. How revolting.

But exactly what do you think Queen Esther was doing during her night with the king (which happened BEFORE they were married)? Discussing politics? (Esther 2:12; Esther 2:14)

^Ik I’m preaching to the choir here, but I think it’s a good thing to point out if you end up in a conversation with someone obsessed with purity culture.

May 29, 2015 at 12:08
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