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The love I want, opposed to the love God wants for me/has in store for me

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships The love I want, opposed to the love God wants for me/has in store for me

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Lexi7 1 year, 4 months ago.

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So basically, I dated a guy for about two years who I absolutely fell in love with. He was my best friend and my boyfriend, I could be myself at all times around him and he loved me completely for who I was. I have never met someone who fits so well with my personality like he did, and I will never feel soulfully attached to someone else like I did and still do with him. We broke up because I was moving to a new town across the country to study, and he was unable to come with. I was scared of dating long distance due to a past experience, and one of the main reasons I broke the relationship was because I thought there were so many new and exciting things to experience that I thought having a boyfriend would hold me back, only now do I realize I was totally wrong and I could of experienced all the amazing things I did with him still being by my side.
We have been broken up for almost two years now, sad thing is I’m still in love with him, but he’s in love with another girl. Every day since we broke up I’ve probably thought about him at least once a day, wondering if he’s happy and what he’s doing with his life. He has been with a new girl for about 7 months now, and not once have I interfered within their relationship because I’m happy for them that they both found happiness in each other, even though I’ve been waiting every day for him to just come back to me and give me another chance.
But an amazing thing happened to me when I returned home for the holiday recently – which I’ve been wanting to share with someone, so thought this would be the right place to do so – maybe someone is going through the same as me.
I have been super upset about him lately and it affects me more when I’m home, because there’s so many memories of us surrounding me every day. There were days where I thought about messaging him just to speak because I miss him and I wanted him to know that – and also to explain myself, but I knew I should just keep my distance because of the fact that his new girlfriend wouldn’t be too happy about it. I didn’t know what to do, so I just prayed and with tears in my eyes I asked God just to give me the opportunity to speak to him again, even if it was for an hour or ten minutes, I just wanted to be in his presence again and to remind of him how much I loved him and how much I still do. Three days after that it was my birthday, and I went out with a few friends to celebrate. Guess who showed up? My ex boyfriend did, which was totally unexpected because his new girlfriend would freak and also I haven’t seen him since the break up. I cant explain how happy I was, and I got the entire night to just talk to him and catch up. We both let out our feelings for each other and both admitted that we still love each other. He even said that that night was the most happiest he’s been in a very long time. When I got home I was over the moon happy and it proved to me that God really did listen to my prayer that night.
The next day though, he messaged me and told me he cant speak to me anymore or see me again because its not fair on his girlfriend now, which I respect him for and understand completely. I just don’t understand how he can still love me yet be with another girl and love her too? He said he has to give her a chance now because he does have feelings for her, and that he has no doubt that in the future that him and I will get another chance some day.
Anyway, I was obviously upset and it wasn’t the outcome i was expecting after such an amazing night with him, so I prayed again with tears in my eyes asking God why is this happening? And as soon as I asked that question it all made sense to me. It wasn’t God’s fault this happened, I didn’t ask God to give him back to me, when I had prayed all I asked for was a chance to speak to him for even just ten minutes, and he gave me exactly that and even more, seeing as I got to spend the whole night with him.
What I’m trying to say here is, we are always so quick to jump and blame God for our heart aches, and when things go wrong he’s the first one we question, where at the end of the day God gives us exactly what we ask for we just need to pay attention. It might not happen immediately or exactly the way we ask, but he listens to us and gives and allows us only what he knows is good for us at the time.
This whole experience was amazing and heartbreaking for me at the same time, because at the end of the day he chose another girl over me which lets be honest, is one of the worst feelings out there.
But I know God allowed me this chance to speak to him, it was either for letting me know that in the near future I might get another chance with him again, or it was for me to finally let him go, by getting my apologies and sincerity out there to finally let him go and move on.
In this sinful life unfortunately things are always going to knock us down, especially when it comes to love, and we might not always understand why we go through such heartbreaks and why things never go our way, but at the end of the day either way God is always looking out for us and our best interests. We might not understand why or how, but from my experience I can definitely and honestly say that God listens to our hearts desires, looks out for our best interests and will always no matter what be there for us.
For my part, yes I’m still sad about the whole situation, but I’m happy and over joyed knowing God is there for me, and who knows maybe this whole experience was God’s way of showing me that he cares and he will never leave my side.

July 22, 2015 at 07:09
Lexi7

Lexi7

That is awesome how God works, isn’t it? Although things happen that we wish that we could change, God has a plan. And He brings people into our lives at the right times, and takes people out of our lives at the right times, too, only to bring in other people. And everything comes together in God’s perfect plan. I am sure that, as long as it is God’s will, you guys will have another chance someday, but at least for now, where both of you are is exactly where God wants you to be. I love how God’s plan works because sometimes you don’t see how life’s circumstances helped you until way later. but then, you can look back on what happened and understand why God did that 🙂 And it seems that you’re understnading some of it, that God is always here for you no matter what happens, and I will definitely be praying for you that you can remember that whatever happens next will also be a part of God’s plan, and that you can always try to live for God because at the end of the day, His love is all that remains. So, love all people with a love that comes from God first and live for God and everything will fall into place according to His plan. 🙂 Jesus loves you! 🙂 God bless 🙂

July 31, 2015 at 19:53
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