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This one guy

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  rusie 1 year, 11 months ago.

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saraej

I started going to a new christian school this year. On my first day of school I met this guy (I’ll call him T). T was super nice to me and introduced me to a bunch of people. Now fast forward to now. I have grown really fond of T in a way a little farther than “just friends”. He is athletic, funny and best of all he is a Christian who lives in a very strong christian family. I’ve been talking to him and texting him and I really think he likes me.

I’m not allowed to date now (which is totally okay to me) until I’m 16 (2 years). However I think he might ask me out sometime this year. If he asks me out I will have to say no. What should I do to make sure I don’t lose him to someone else? Do you have any tips of how I can spend time with him outside of school without “dating”?

Thank you!

January 10, 2015 at 08:04
Winged Eloquence

Winged Eloquence

I don’t think you should worry so much about “losing” him. I would suggest evaluating your purpose for wanting to date him in the first place. Why rush to get into a relationship with this young man and scheme for ways to keep his attention until you are allowed to date? He isn’t your husband. He may not ever be your husband. You don’t have any claim on him whatsoever.

I think you should try to find contentment as his Christian sister first. Instead of getting him to focus on you, encourage him to focus on God. You are only fourteen. Marriage is still a long way away. Right now, you should be learning more about God and strengthening your relationship with Him. Learn to be content in your singleness during this time.

That probably isn’t the advice you wanted to hear. But I do think you should consider it.

January 10, 2015 at 08:51
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Flute2013

I agree. And I think that if he does ask you out, you can just explain that you can’t. Because if he really wants a relationship then he would wait right? That’s just my take on it.

January 10, 2015 at 16:02
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saraej

Thank you Winged Eloquence and Flute2013! This is what I needed to hear.

I appreciate your advice so much

January 10, 2015 at 17:44
pjbaseballgirl

pjbaseballgirl

Yeah, you know the whole “if its meant to be it will be thing”… well if its meant to be then maybe down the road it will be but for now you just dont have control over his decisions and so being friends for now is a good way to go i think.

January 10, 2015 at 21:01
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rusie

Um, so seeing as how I was in this position almost a year ago, I couldn’t resist giving some advice. If you aren’t allowed to date, tell him so. If he really likes you, he will understand. A relationship that you have to hide usually isn’t worth the effort.

In the meantime. Be his friend. It will help you grow as a person, and decide if you are ready to handle being in a relationship with this dude. Because, at the end of the day, the best romantic relationship usually have a strong friendship base.

January 11, 2015 at 09:59
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