Sometimes, we can get so caught up in looking for “The One” that we lose focus on the One who created us and ransomed us from our sins.
A relationship is not the end-all-be-all of existence. We shouldn’t view singlehood as a curse, but rather as a time to commune with God and strengthen our faith. As I’ve browsed the Relationships section of this forum, I’ve had to scratch my head at some of the questions asked here. A large portion of them involve getting a young man’s attention or determining whether one’s feelings toward a guy are mutual. I’m surprised at the number of girls here who’ve had a long string of relationships.
Girls, mind you. Twelve- and thirteen-year-olds. Fourteen-year-olds.
What is wrong with this picture?
Why is there such an insatiable desire to hop from one relationship to the next?
Whatever happened to trusting God?
Phillipians 4:11-13 says, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
I think it’s important to find contentment even in singleness. We should use our time as singles to run after God with reckless abandon and encourage others to do the same. To come alongside our brothers in Christ and point them to God rather than us. Perhaps, instead of investing so much energy in the pursuit of earthly relationships, we should turn that energy toward deepening our relationship with God.
When you enter into a relationship, you’re dating a young man who may not end up being your spouse. If you and your boyfriend are especially young, the chance is pretty high. That means you’re probably holding hands and sending loving texts to somebody else’s future husband. Sobering, isn’t it?
I hear so often about relationship drama in some of my friends’ lives. Boyfriend after boyfriend. Broken heart after broken heart. Pounds of emotional baggage, all because they had the wrong perspective. Whatever happened to serving God alongside young men without feeling the need to play matchmaker?
I’m guilty of this, too. Frankly, it’s fun to wonder about the future. And so very tempting. Wondering about the future isn’t wrong in itself, but it becomes wrong when it evolves into an idol, distracts us (and others) from a relationship with Jesus Christ, and drives a wedge between a teenage girl and her parents.
And that’s another thing. I can’t tell you how many drama stories I’ve heard that leave the parents out of the picture. I’d be willing to bet that your parents would be better advisors than a stranger on the Internet. Before going here for help, I would recommend that you go to your parents first. They love you and want to help you, and they know you better than you think. They will be able to give certain kinds of practical advice that we can’t, since they’re likely to understand the situation more.
Anyway. That was long and kind of ramble-y, I’m sure. I’d love to hear what you think.
|January 12, 2015 at 19:56|
Yes. One hundred percent yes.
|January 15, 2015 at 17:02|
I think it’s not new at all, honestly. Marriage used to be performed on people as young as thirteen. People as young as twelve in Victorian, Russian and Medieval lit have been sighing for love. Romeo and Juliet were only teenagers (between 14 and 17). Ophelia was probably sixteen in Hamlet.
|January 15, 2015 at 18:37|
I think media is a lot involved because it gives these images, making an ideal that many seem to feel the need to have. when in reality its not all sunshine and lollipops.
But i do believe there is a real love for those who are meant to find their soul mate, but it is best to be patient and let God bring him to you. Not go crazy and flirt/date around in excess. but let things happen with people as they will
|January 15, 2015 at 23:45|
I despise the dating culture quite honestly. It’s painful to watch children (myself included, but I’ve never actually dated or come close to it) fall for person after person, get their heart shattered, and then go on to someone else. I’ve had someone several years younger than me give me a weird look when I told her I’ve never dated, and she went on to inform me of her several boyfriends. I’ve also had friends tell me that they’ve had so many “boyfriends” that they can’t even remember them all. I get it, we’re going to like people, but we don’t need to be in an intimate relationship at such a young age. I’m currently in a tough spot as I like the same guy as a close friend of mine. It’s been made worse by mutual friends of them and me overly shipping them and obsessing over how they’re perfect for each other and going on and on about how they’re perfect for each other and then I’m awkwardly there… A lot. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but basically, stop with the relationships and obsessions! It’s not healthy for your growing mind, and it hurts other people. Just keep being friends, it’s better in the long run. (at least… I think so. I hope so.)
|January 16, 2015 at 18:49|
Maryse, you beat me to it!
There is no such thing as The One. Soulmates aren’t even biblical. You choose who you marry, or if you’ll even marry at all.
Also, in the Church today, I see more obsession over not dating. It’s just as wrong as obsessing over a relationship.
|January 16, 2015 at 20:06|
I believe society is set on sending a message that if your not dating by a certain age, then your a failure at “finding” love. You know people don’t realize that being single is also a gift. That is a lesson that God has to remind me about daily. It’s a struggle sometimes but it’s worth it. I think society embraces insecurity so much that so many people feel like the only way to feel complete and whole is to be in a relationship. The only thing that can make you whole is Jesus. Being single is not a curse and it’s not a bad thing. But Broken Vessel i just wanted to point out that the church is not really obsessing over not dating, the messege that i have heard is that teens and younger children even are so worried about dating that they make it a priority to be in a relationship when there are so many other things that we should be focused on at that age. We must also remember that dating is the first step before marriage. Teenagers and children should be more focused on their school and (For those who are christians) serving God. We should enjoy being single as much as we can because once we get into a relationship it’s a different situation because. It’s God who decides for us if He wants us to marry or not because not everyone is meant to get married. Which is not a bad thing.
|January 17, 2015 at 21:59|
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.