I’m a young (17) 12th grader graduating next month. So there’s this guy, let’s call him “C”, who I’ve know for a few years now. C is the same age as me, but he is in 11th grade, but even though I’m graduating this year I’m going to stay in the area and work this year so I don’t see a problem there. Anyway, so C and I were in a play together, so I saw him almost everyday for like a month and a half and I like him a lot and I think he likes me. But C is very much and Introvert, if you know Myers Briggs personality typing INTJ to be precise. I am also an introvert but I’m very outgoing (INFJ) and INTJs tend you have a lot of trouble admitting feelings and taking the first step in the relationship, but at the same time I feel as though the guy should initiate things. I know I could get up the guts to say something if I really made myself, but is this something I should do? or should I wait on him and is this more of a God’s timing thing? Or is this an I need to get up the courage to say something thing? P. S. I have never been a romantic relationship before or admitted my feelings to someone before, but recently have been thinking/feeling God is trying to tell me I’m ready to date and that right now that’s the direction he’s calling me in. But at the same time to be patient.
|April 12, 2015 at 21:51|
I think telling the guy first is fine. (I’ve done it) Just be prepared that he might not like you back and you need to be ready for that. You can still be friends and you need to make that clear. Also, don’t make it awkward just say it and then deal with it.
|April 13, 2015 at 15:06|
I was in the exact same boat as you several months ago. I ended up taking action after nearly a year of waiting for something to happen on its own, and it never did.
I thought it would take care of itself. Mostly because all of our friends wanted us to get together, and it got to the point where they couldn’t go five minutes without teasing us. He would always just laugh, and I would sit there in scared silence. I thought that them pushing us so much would make it happen on its own.
But it didn’t. There had been so much pressure on the two of us to admit our feelings for each other, but we never did. In the end, the only people who had control over it was the two of us. It took me many months of lying around and listening to Christina Perri’s “Distance” on repeat to realize that. I felt like God was telling me to do something myself, since nothing had happened on its own yet. (And I am dead serious when I say we were constantly being teased at this point.)
I did a very seventh grader ish thing. I wrote him a letter and stuck it in his backpack. It caught him off guard, and he didn’t talk to me the next day, but my friend talked to him after rehearsal. Turns out, he had been confused too. He had feelings for me. He asked me out the next day, and we are nearing our six month anniversary 😀
I think a big part of it was that neither of us had ever been in relationships or really ever had to deal with feelings seriously. And both of us are pretty shy.
Waiting is definitely easier, but it drives you just just sitting there and thinking about what you could be together. I was terrified about messing up our friendship. He is so important to me. But God will not allow you to lose anyone you are meant to be with. Ask him to nourish your relationship with this boy, then go for it.
It’s scary. It’s one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I can’t express how glad I am I did it. If both of you are confused, someone has to step up, and there isn’t any rule that says it can’t be you.
Best of luck and God bless!
|April 13, 2015 at 20:32|
Thank you so much! That helps a lot and I had thought about writing a letter, but I think I need to get up the guts and tell him in person… and trust me I’ve totally thought about the fact he might not like me. He is extremely hard to read and for me that’s super aggravating because normally I can read almost everyone like a book. But after I tell him I like him I will definitely say that if he doesn’t feel the same I’d much rather be friends then nothing. Any prayers you want to send my way are greatly appreciated!
|April 13, 2015 at 21:00|
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