Sorry if this is long. I’m just so confused by everything. I’m usually the really shy and quiet type. Lately I’ve been feeling a little more outgoing and some things don’t seem as hard anymore. For example, I talked to the guy I liked today. I had my homework on my desk and he asked what it was. I told him and he said he’s taking that class next year. I just said “Cool!” and I forgot to ask what other classes he was taking. Occasionally, I forget to ask more than one question, but other than that I think I’m doing pretty well. God has been really helping me this year socially. Back to him, I wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to me. He was next to me but wouldn’t really look at me and kept looking away. When I said something tho, he would lean towards me. He’s my neighbor and I think he likes me but I’m not sure. He stares at me in the halls, or sometimes we’ll just catch each other’s eyes and hold it. I like it, I feel special to him. Other times, I’ll look up at lunch and he’ll look deeply into my eyes, or look away slowly…he doesn’t talk to me tho, only if I start talking to him first. And the other day, him and his dad gave me a ride to school, and his dad talked to me more than he did. Was that bad? Does that mean he doesn’t like me? And sometimes when I see him in the hall, I’ll smile at him but he doesn’t smile back. He’ll have a neutral look and his face is red. Is he blushing or does a red face mean he hates me? Or could he have been blushing just getting out of a conversation with another girl?
Do you girls think he likes me? I think I’m really starting to like him a lot. Not just his looks, his personality makes him even more beautiful. Tho I’ve liked a couple guys before and they never liked me back. They did all the signs; staring and holding eye contact, plus playing with their hair and being louder when I’m around. I don’t want to fall into that again. My neighbor, however, seems more genuine and sincere than those guys. I asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime. He said “I would but I have golf and I work every weekend”, then I asked “Maybe when you’re not working?” and he said “Yeah, maybe.” Was he being sincere and patient with me or does he really not want to hang out? I can even tell him to just tell me if he doesn’t want to. Would that be ok or appropriate?
Lastly, I’ve been having some friend troubles at school. It started last year when I wanted to be friends with a guy in my youth group. I thought I was being the sweetest girl in the world by wanting to be his friend. I knew he only talked to his few friends from gradeschool and that he was depressed over his best friend dying. I soon realized when talking at the lunch table, he would never give me eye contact, or try hard not to look at me, put his hands in front of his face, bring up get togethers with my other friends I wasn’t invited to, (my friends could have invited me)., never talk to me. He even somehow found out I had liked a boy in our youth group and he was mean about that too. He used to be nice last year, junior year. Then I think I asked my friend if he wanted to be my friend. Then she must’ve said something cuz it all went downhill. I also read a book where the character said “Everyone who knows me hates me.” She talked about cutting herself and over Christmas break, I wanted to do that too. At the time, it seemed like everyone did hate me. Luckily, my neighbor’s sister was there. She helped me overcome some of those thoughts and know I had a friend in her. I’ve known her since my freshman year, when she was a senior and I called for a ride home from school. I love that I feel like a little sister to her! Back to my friends; Honestly, the farther I distance myself from them and the youth group, the better I feel. Sorry if that sounds awful. I feel like I’ve been badly hurt by their friend and don’t know how to explain it and I don’t think they would understand or care too. I don’t think they even stood up for me! I appreciate my neighbors because they’re not telling the whole world, like my friends did. I have some friends from Best Buddies tho that ARE making time for me, and one guy friend from grade school. We’ve never really hung out, but my mom says he feels like he knows me well. He was nice to me, when no one else was and willing to be a friend. His mom was my teacher and really seemed to like me, so I guess I was adopted by him too 🙂
Thank you so much!! Senior year is awful at times
|April 28, 2015 at 17:27|
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