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Where do I go from here

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk Where do I go from here

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  AdventureGirl 6 months ago.

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Hey all,
So this summer, hypothetically and in my mind, for at least the last six months I was supposed to have one of the best summers of all time for me. It really did seem like it was going to go that way too. This summer I had planned to go on a 10 day trip on a cross-country road trip from the east coast of the US, all the way to Yellowstone national park and looping back around a different way. Then, a week and a half later, I would be going to Philmont scout ranch, a high adventure backpacking camp in the mountains of New Mexico which would last 12 days. The day after I got back from that, to basically wrap up the summer, I would be spending the next 2 weeks working at a summer camp.

I guess I wouldn’t be writing this if things didn’t go wrong. They did. Ultimately, I was highly disappointed with my road trip. Basically, next to single handedly I had funded enough money to pay for 6 people, including myself, to go on this trip. It took me two years to raise enough money, but I still did it! A women who was coming on this trip with me was creating the itinerary. Months before the trip, we all sat down and said what we’d like to do on this trip. After tons of delays and excuses, the itinerary was finally released two days before the trip. Long story short, basically everything I wanted to do was cut out. Well fine, I went anyway. I didn’t work all that hard not to go at all, so I went. This desk ion was a mistake. Ultimately, I hate to say it, but this women ended up being a nutter traveler, control freak and crazy person, especially while traveling. It really damaged the experience for everybody on the trip. Plus, I was really hurt since I had spent so much time, effort and money, which I earned from that time and effort, on this trip and got absolutely no consideration.
At this point though, I still had Philmont, which was the real kicker to my summer. I was intensely looking forward to it. I had physically trained for this specific event for the past 6 months. I mean, your traveling 6 to 12 miles a day with a 40 to 60 pound backpack on your back for six days. This is an intense experience, but also once in a lifetime. Reminder, youre at Philmont for 12 days. When I got to Philmont, I was pulled off the trail on day 2 for some health problems. See, I have full heart block, therefore, I have a pacemaker. I had a lot of symptoms going on at the time I got off the trail, but the big one probably was that nobody could find my pulse for a while. No pulse is bad. It usually means your dead, but when they were looking for it, I was fully awake, functional and talkative. Ultimately, and for the best, the doctors and I decided it would be best for me not to go back on the trail. I’m heart broken. My pacemaker has never really stopped me before and I was really looking forward to this trip.

But it’s more than just getting jipped out of what should have been amazing, once in a lifetime trips. In the past four months, I’ve really lost a lot of my drive, motivation and focus. These trips, especially Philmont, we’re supposed to really help me regain that in my mind. And honestly, if they had even gone remotely to what would have gone close to plan, they probably would’ve restored a lot of it for me.
But now it feels like a slap in the face. I’m odviously not going to get my drive, motivation and focus by going on those trips since they bombed majorly. But now more than ever, especially since those trips crashed and burned, I need to get my drive, motivation and focus back or else my confidence is going to crash. I’ve worked really hard the last couple years to get all those things up and I’m not going to loose them.

The question is, where do I go form here? How do I get my drive, motivation and focus back? How do I not get stuck from this? What do I do? What can I do?

Help please.

July 20, 2016 at 21:22


I’m so sorry everything didn’t work out the way you wanted them to 🙁 . It sucks when things don’t go the way we want them to, especially when we’ve been planning them for so long. My advice would be to find something new to try every day for the rest of the summer. Whether that’s something as simple as trying a new food in a restaurant, or something as big as getting your hair cut (I say “big” loosely). Doing something new everyday might give you back some drive, and you’ll feel accomplished at the end of your day so that may help with your motivation. As for focus, I say, if it’s possible, try going on a day trip. If you can, I find that going to the beach is perfect for clearing your mind and regaining some perspective. Aside from all of that, maybe you could try planning a new trip for next summer? Just because it didn’t work out this year doesn’t mean you can’t plan something even better for next year. I really hope this helps and you have a good rest of your summer! 🙂

July 22, 2016 at 18:38


Oooo Ooooo I know! *Raises hand*

Go over to the Random Thoughts and Questions forums and look at my topic on the #100HardThings Challenge. It would be PERFECT for you.

Also, I’m so sorry your summer didn’t work out. I completely empathize; give yourself time to feel sad and disappointed– don’t try to shove those feelings away. Once you feel them fully, they will dissipate eventually and you will go back to being your focused, driven self.

Stay in faith. God knows this was a disappointment to you, and he can bless you with other amazing things, and work all these things out for your good. (Not saying it was good, but that God can use it for good 🙂 )

July 22, 2016 at 21:12
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