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Why are guys so confusing!! :)

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships Why are guys so confusing!! :)

This topic contains 16 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  MacDawn1999 3 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Hello all! Here is another cliche “I don’t know what to do about this guy” girl talk forum! I was considering not…seeing there are more important things I could talk about… but this one really has me in a bit of a pickle!! (Haha)
So… there is this guy. I’ve asked a question about him before. I’m not allowed to date, and I’m positive he likes someone else. This is where it gets trippy..
We text everyday. Yesterday, he made the comment of “You owe me a hug, and I owe you ice cream” The ice cream part is an inside joke, but he keeps telling me he wants me to give him a hug because “I’m his favorite Bycroft” (That’s my last name… he knows a lot of my family. My gpa preaches at the church he goes to) Anyway… he was super busy yesterday and we didn’t text much so he apologized for it. Of course, I said he didn’t need to be sorry because people have lives, and he said “I just really like talking to you and I hope you like talking to me too”. I love talking to him!! And he always says good morning and good night, and sweet dreams… Am I reading too much into this? We got to see each other Saturday for a church event and he texted me later when I left and he said “Wish you were still here. Really glad I got to see you.” I feel like I’m getting mixed signals, and he is making it really hard for me to not get too attached. I just want to be his friend right now.. because that’s all I can be! Any insight as to why he may be saying these things? I value his friendship a lot- he is one of my best Christian guy friends- so I definitely don’t want to lose that.
Thank you all so much, have a lovely day, and sorry it was so long! :/ 🙂

October 3, 2016 at 08:30
Nino99

Nino99

You’re not reading too much into it–from what you’ve said here, it seems that he really likes you. But…be careful, especially with texting, because it’s easy to say these things to multiple people over text. What really shows whether he cares is how he treats you in real life; if he’s considerate, if he’s respectful, etc.
But argh! I know how hard it is to detach your emotions from someone when they seem so “perfect” 😉

October 3, 2016 at 11:03
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

Please, please. please do NOT get your hopes up. If it means not talking to this guy, don’t. It is wrong for him to be leading you on when he likes someone else–wrong both to you and to the person he likes. If he is a person like this, he is probably not a person you want to be around.
I know it’s hard, but it’s *much* better than if you let your affections for him grow and then find out he never liked you, it will be such a hurtful experience. So both ways, whether he likes you or not, it’s not a good situation. If he likes you so much he’s willing to abandon someone he liked, who likes him, for you, that is also a red flag–he’d be willing to do that to someone else when he gets bored of you.
Don’t feel like you HAVE to be in a relationship more than friendship to keep him. And really……you don’t NEED to have guy friends if girl friends will work. I’ve had only girl friends all my life so far and it’s been pretty good–probably better than if I had guy friends. CS Lewis wisely said that a friendship between a guy and a girl is certain to become love unless they’re physically repulsive to one another or their love lies elsewhere…
Sorry if this seems harsh! Just I had a similar experience and it hurts a lot, and I want to make sure you don’t have to experience that 😉

October 3, 2016 at 11:28
mimiroland123

mimiroland123

I too have gone through something like this. It is super frustrating when you can’t control your emotions for a guy and you’re not even sure if he has the same feelings for you. Personally, I would just pray about it. Like Nino99 said, if he truly likes you, then he will show it in real life and not just text. I had a “nice” ( or so I thought) guy lead me on for months over text and he wouldn’t even talk to me in person. It really hurt my feelings. So, if he talks to you over text and in person, you might consider talking about what is there between him. But my goodness let him initiate. Don’t chase after him all the time. Let him come to you. From what I read it seems he is a genuinely nice, caring guy. I hope this advice helps and that everything works out.

October 4, 2016 at 13:54
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Thank you guys! @Nino99, you are so right. When we are together, which isn’t often because we do not live in the same town, he talks to me as much as he can. And we were together just the other weekend for a church activity and I decided I wasn’t going to follow him around or make the first move to talk to him and he came up to talk to me as soon as I got there!
@theteenfashionista yes I’ve been through this before which is why I’m trying to be very careful. I definitely don’t feel like I NEED to be anything other than friends with him because, well, I can’t haha. Plus, I just want Jesus right now. I would just like to know his intentions to be completely honest.
@mimiroland123 He is super nice and caring. We talk over text, and we’ve always easily talked in person, even before I started to like him. I definitely let him do all the initiating. I refuse to pursue him myself, because that is the guys job. I let him text first, or walk over to talk to me first, unless it is urgent.
Thank you all for everything. You rock!

October 5, 2016 at 06:25
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Hi again I would also just like to add that he is an extremely strong Christian guy, and I do not believe that he would just start liking another girl because he “got bored of the last one”. It is possible he likes me and another girl at the same time? Honestly, I don’t know, I just felt like I should say he is not like that to be flirting with multiple girls at multiple times. He is very loyal. Sorry if that sounds harsh… but I felt that I should stand up for him in that way because he is my friend 🙂

October 5, 2016 at 07:29
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

No offense taken. I know how it feels. BUT i’m just warning you *not* to get attached. I thought the same thing a long time ago.
Then again, I’m not the type to trust people very much, so perhaps I’m not qualified to give advice lol.
Not to be rude or anything, though, but you said you were “positive” he liked another girl. If he likes another girl, and he’s flirting with you, that isn’t exactly the best display of faithfulness, is it?
It’s possible he both likes you and another girl, and then it’s your choice to decide to get attached or not. But I’m warning you–and you probably already know this–but if you decide to get attached, and you are forced to see him with the other girl he likes all the time, it will be extremely painful and grow in pain the more you get attached. I know you knew this, but just a reminder.

October 5, 2016 at 09:46
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Yes I am very much trying to avoid getting attached. I assume this is the reason I wrote this in the first place? To just get it off my chest. Yes, you make a good point on me saying “positive” he liked someone else, but then again I’ve never seen them together and he’s never talked about her so. ?? I know I am probably sending mixed signals or mixing my words around and I promise it’s not intentional haha! 🙂 Yes I do know this. Sorry if any of this seems rude, but I care a lot about my friends so I feel like I have to justify their actions on the behalf of others- which doesn’t always work :// I am not getting attached- I will not get attached. I am trying to make that a point that its not going to happen. I am trying to focus on God, but I thought maybe anyone would have insight as to what he is trying to tell me. I can’t date, so the point of getting attached to him would be, well, it’s pointless.

October 5, 2016 at 10:09
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

True, true. You don’t have to date to be attached though, but I do understand what you’re saying. It’s just I had a similar experience and I don’t want it to happen to you, though of course I don’t mean to be mean. I’m glad you’ve decided not to get attached to him though 🙂

October 5, 2016 at 11:06
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

I know that you can become attached without dating. That has been a usual occurrence in my life and that is SO not happening again haha! 🙂 Thank you for all your advice/insight, I’m sorry if anything I said was offensive or rude or anything :/ I know how it feels so I wouldn’t want it to happen to anyone else either, so I definitely know where you are coming from. May I ask how old you are @theteenfashionista? Haha random question 😉

October 5, 2016 at 11:56
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

Oh lol I’m 13. (Almost 14). Young, I know. And thanks for thanking me–I don’t mean to be harsh or anything I just sometimes am. 🙂 And nothing you said was rude!! 😀 I hope everything works out for you!!! 😀

October 5, 2016 at 13:44
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

You are very wise for your age! Tho I suppose that is just the generation huh? 🙂 You are going to be used in amazing ways by God @theteenfashionista! Haha thank you for all your love, tho I know I was kinda harsh. (Well… maybe more harsh in my head…. hmmmm)

October 5, 2016 at 14:55
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

Lol we are all defensive of our friends, aren’t we? 😀 And thank you so much!!

October 6, 2016 at 07:24
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Yes I suppose we are! You’re welcome :))

October 6, 2016 at 07:38
ChaplainKid

ChaplainKid

I agree with everything that has been said, BUT what makes you so sure he likes this other girl? It’s definitely wrong if he likes her, (not that he’s meaning to lead you on- in his defense it could just be his personality) but are you just assuming this or did he tell you? He might also be confused about whether or not he really likes her. It does seem that he likes you, but like the other girls said, I wouldn’t get attached. Please pray about it and be careful.

October 7, 2016 at 21:19
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