I’m a fifth-year student at my high school this year. It has been an extremely hard year, especially socially. We have two campuses, one for freshman/sophomore and one for junior/senior. I’m taking a couple classes at south with the freshman/sophomores. I’ve noticed some of the girls give me mean or not the nicest looks. One of them used to be really funny and conversational with me. I almost thought we were becoming friends. Now she won’t even look or talk to me. What am I doing wrong? Am I a disgusting human being or something? This has been going on for a while, but I’ve scared to talk to anyone about it or post it on here. I have with my mom a little but she asks if the looks are really that mean and that sometimes I interpret situations wrong. All I know is they’re not the truly happy smiles my friends give me. They’re not friendly. They make me want to run away and I feel like no one cares about me anymore. I’m not sure why God made me if the other people He created in this world don’t like me. I’m on spring break right now and I’m really nervous to be going back to that again soon. Even some of the boys do it! (I thought they would be nicer.) My good friend Morgan is friends with a guy named Joey. They said “Hi” to each other the day. Then when he saw me standing next to her, he gave me a disgusting, grossed-out look. I’m not exactly sure why; he follows me on Instagram, accepted my facebook request again after I deleted him and likes some of my posts and pictures. What was that look for and why would he like my stuff then? I used to have a crush on him, and I’m pretty sure he used to like me back. One time I walked by his locker to get to class, then when I looked back, he was looking at me and his face was bright red. He blushed a couple other times when he saw me, but has never been able to say “Hi”. Whenever I say it or open my mouth, it’s awkward. He either looks away, doesn’t say anything or stares. I don’t care if he doesn’t like me. I would just like to know why people are making these looks. Is it something I’m doing? Is it because I’m a super senior, have hearing aids or in Best Buddies? Me and Joey could have also been friends by now if he talks to me when I try to say hi to him. I’ve messaged him “Happy Thanksgiving” on FB and he messaged me back, but I didn’t say anything after that cuz I thought I didn’t need to. Then I messaged him again a little later but he didn’t respond. Another time him and a girl were whispering then looked over at me. He looked like a deer in headlights. He liked me, still might, but that last nasty look? I just don’t understand what’s going on and look down when I see him now. Some people make it seem like a crime to want to be friends with them. Can someone help me? Thank you so much! This has been so hard and most days I have come from school and sat in my room crying. I also used to sit with my friend Morgan at lunch and her friends, but they wouldn’t include me. They did first semester. It was amazing! I felt so appreciated and included. Now they won’t 🙁 When I texted Morgan about it, she said she feels awful they don’t include me but she doesn’t know how to help it. I’ve been sitting in the library reading a book or other places but it just feels so lonely. Is there anything I can do? I just want to be able to go sit with someone at lunch. At the beginning of the year, I was so proud myself for going. Last year there was another really bad situation and it was even with people in a youth group. I wanted to be friends with this one boy but another girl, a “friend” at the time told him I had a crush on him. At lunch he wouldn’t include me with the the others, like the girls this year, look at me, put his hands up by his face so he wouldn’t even have to see me, and he would always bring up things at his house he was inviting everyone else to. Even worse, my good guy friend Chris said Michael would talk to me if I tried to talk to him. He never did and I think he knew he wouldn’t. I don’t understand why him, or even Morgan now wouldn’t have tried to make it a little better or even observe what I was trying to explain. One day at last year, I had enough and took my backpack and literally ran out of the lunchroom crying. It’s starting to seem like no one in this world cares, then or now. I’m only bring up last year because it’s still so painful. I have anxiety especially in the hallways, I’m always scared someone will be mean to me, even when I text or snapchat a good friend, and I also couldn’t go back to that church anymore. I would love to visit but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. I have even tried to explain the situation to my close friends and the female youth pastor, but they all refused to believe he would really do that. It made me mad they wouldn’t understand and it made me feel so alone. There’s also been more situations in that youth group and with people at school. Why do I have to go through all this? It causes so much pain and wounds that might never heal. It hurts even more no one tried to help or understand. It hurts and makes me a little mad. I’m anxious to go back and none of them care. I want to talk to my teacher, but first I want to hear what you all have to say, and of course, I want my teacher to believe me. I think I’m behaving appropriately in my classes.
There’s only a couple people not in my classes who are really nice to me and are like friends; my friend Talia, three people from my new church, and Morgan’s younger brother. He’s really nice and so sweet and I really like him, but my friend said he might like someone else and be dating her 🙁 She said my crush doesn’t bother her but it hurts so much seeing him with someone else. I don’t know if I’ll ever like someone else as much. At the beginning of the year, we all went to a football game and he was standing with some people but he was staring at me the whole time smiling and trying to look in my eyes. His face was flushed and he looked so happy I was making his sister happy. He has stared me with shining eyes whenever I see him. One time they were even glowing! When Morgan said to find her brother, I’ll never forget how happy he looked to see us. And once when I was at her house, he was singing and sang louder when he went by the bathroom to get my attention. Also, we walked together before school one day and kept bumping each other. I don’t know if that was all me though. When he sees me, he looks so happy and it looks more than a smile a guy friend would give me. So that’s all why I thought he liked me. On top of everything, this adds to it too. I don’t know how happy I’ll be if the guys I really like like someone else. Sometimes I even feel at peace about liking someone, like God’s ok with it and wants us to be together. Whenever I ask if he would want to hang out with us, she just says he’s weird and doesn’t have long conversations with her. I just thought that would be nice and I’m used to my other friends having their siblings hang out with us anyway. I like that because we all become like family
|April 1, 2016 at 09:04|
Hi ChildofGod882. I’m really sorry to hear about your struggles at school. I have been going through a hard time school, though not as bad as yours, and so I understand how you feel. Please understand that you are so special to God, he is with you in this hard time, even when it doesn’t feel like it. It’s very unfortunate that people who used to be your friends are treating you horribly – you are a unique creation, a child of God, and no one has the right to treat you like you are any less than the daughter of the Most High God. If your friends are talking behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason. God is using you, and strengthening you through this hard time. He wouldn’t put you through something that he knew you couldn’t handle! Remember that Jesus fed five thousand, walked on water, and came back from the dead! Don’t ever let this cease to amaze you.
|April 2, 2016 at 15:52|
Thank you! You helped so much! You’re amazing! I’ll pray and I could definitely tell a friend I really trust. This made me realize I’ve never really told a friend or anyone how I really feel or what’s really going on. I don’t want them to think it’s silly or have to be embarrassed by it. Also, what could I do about my friend’s brother aka my really huge crush? It’s getting worse because I can’t stop thinking about him
|April 2, 2016 at 18:06|
I’m really glad I could help! As I said, I had a similar problem, so I know how you feel. When I finally told my parents what was going on, I felt a bit silly, but I was mainly happy to get it off my chest. Don’t be embarrassed about this. I know there is often a stigma about this sort of thing, but if there’s someone you can trust, tell them.
|April 7, 2016 at 02:49|
Matthew 5:10 states “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” The bible also states we are not of this world. So sometimes we have to understand people may not like us and treat us the way they do and It hurts! and it’s unfair! and we wonder why God allows these situations to happen to us. But I think what God’s outcome is that he wants you to turn to him, seek him. “draw near to him and He will draw near to you” James 4:8. Whenever you feel sad, go home and pray or you don’t even have to be home all you have to do is talk to God, talk to Jesus like they are right there with you cause in a way.. they are! And they want us to speak to him and tell them how are day went what was nice and what wasn’t so nice. So maybe try speaking to them out loud even if its just whispering or even in your head. What is also very important is to trust God, he will make a way and the best part is when we turn to God he is there with open arms and we can get so consumed and overwhelmed by his beauty NOTHING else matters. Sometimes we get so caught up in what other people think of us we never take the time to think about what God thinks of us. So when your walking with God and pleasing him everything will fall into place. We don’t need friends when we have The son and the father. because they will never be there for us like they are, they know us inside and out and STILL love us. “you are all together beautiful,my love, there is no flaw in you” Song of Solomon 4:7. Gods believes in you and loves you he will not give you anything you can’t handle, If our God is for us then what can stand against us? The answer? NOTHING. “Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant, or insecure, remember to whom you belong.” Ephesians 2:19-22. Just like it states in that verse when we feel sad turn to God and he will be there for you with open arms waiting for you to comfort you, he doesn’t like to see you hurting thats why he wants to be with you and love you! Pray to God, no request is too big nor too small I promise. Be patient too and trust in him. And to the people who hurt you God will deal with them on judgement day and will take care of them and you. Don’t worry to much about. Pray strength and peace and love and anything else you need to talk to him about he will give you the desires of your heart as you serve him. As for that boy Morgans younger brother, trust God with the situation. TRUST ME I KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS I’VE BEEN THERE but I have surrendered it to God and now focus on Christ and God and I know everything will be taken care of. If it’s not God’s will he will take care of it until then pray for his will with the outcome. Everything going to be okay as long as you remain faithful. However it’s okay if we stumble because Lord knows I do and sometimes I hate it but god is faithful and loving and forgives me when I repent. How amazing is he. However don’t take advantage where you can stay avoid sin do so, but sometime, like in this book I read she said “we can’t stop the bird from flying over us but we can keep it from building a nest in our hair”. Avoid temptation. I don’t know if your going through anything like that but I guess I’ll just keep it in the comment anyways Lol. So just trust in God, it may take time but here our some songs that can help you through it, just know your not alone! People go through stuff like this all the time but oh how lucky are us christians we have the Lord to turn to and help guide us through!! That’s we should spread the word about Christ so others like you can have Christ to help them too!
|April 11, 2016 at 14:18|
also, you should check out the book The Chase by kelsey and Kyle Kepucky. They say that the guy should lead that we shouldn’t strip that away from them they posted a video about on their youtube channel. I personally agree with them I want my future husband to chase me but I should be chasing God first! The Bible says to guard your heart so be careful! If this guy was really interested and wanted to be with you (call it old school) but he should come to you. And display the affection he has for you (in a Godly way!!!) If I may ask, Is he a christian? If there’s one thing my Dad always tells me (and STILL does) it’s to wait on God AND to not date a guy who is not a christian. In my eyes the way I look at it, It’s forbidden fruit! Some people say “Oh I can change him/her” but most of the time that isn’t the case your most likely to get pulled away from God and that is the last thing you want! So ask God to speak to you about or give you a dream or a vision that’s actually what he did for me and he actually allowed me to see my future husband 3 times in a concert IF I stay focus on God I know he has great things in store. SO that being said talk to God. get away from the noise in this world and really tune in to what God is telling you, I know t can be hard cause when my dad says that to me the first thing that pops into my head is How??? I’m still figuring it out but when you truly listen to what he has to say God will make it clear to you. when you are ready! I personally thought I was ready for a relationship but last night I made it clear to myself I was not due to a situation I have with God personally so until God guides me through that then I may be ready but were young! we have time. My dad once told me, ” look at it this way, God is not going to give you something your not ready for!” he then used my 6 year old niece as a reference ” let’s say she REALLY wants a car, God’s not going to give it to her because she is not ready, chances are she will get in an accident and her feet can’t even reach the petals! Therefore she isn’t ready yet.” so God will know when you are ready for a relationship and if that is now, then he will give you the person he has for you. we shouldn’t date just to date, we should date to find our husband and if were in the process of the waiting, pray. Pray for your future husband and you! and your possible children if thats what you want!
|April 11, 2016 at 14:18|
Thank you! That was cool about your vision. I never quite understood what it meant to tune into God.
You have a smart dad. I never knew that. But what if God thinks I’m never ready for a relationship and what if no guy wants to chase me? I’m worried because for a long time and even now, it seems like I have a lot more in common with girls. How would God know when I’m ready? And I honestly don’t know if Morgan and her family go to church. I’ve been wanting to ask her though since she never talks about it. Thanks for praying too! I appreciate it! <3 Julianne
|April 11, 2016 at 15:28|
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through; you are such a sweet and beautiful girl, you deserve friends who will love and appreciate you for who you are.
Let me just tell you though–it’s easy to read a situation wrong, and when you have a low self esteem it’s easy to think everyone hates you. (Ik this from experience, unfortunately) There was this guy I really liked (he’s soooo cute) and so naturally I was FREAKING TERRIFIED of him. Anyway, I’m generally pretty outgoing and friendly to everyone, but around him I just clammed up and legit would not talk to him. It was terrible. Like literally, I’m sure he thought I hated him (I didn’t!!!)
Anyway, my point is that there are all sorts of reasons someone might not talk to you or include you. A lot of people struggle with shyness/awkwardness.
|April 11, 2016 at 20:53|
Also remember we are always here for you! If you ever want to talk you can email at email@example.com 🙂
|April 11, 2016 at 20:55|
Yeah, it can be perceived as complicated but it is not at all. But when you think about (I’ve been through it too and I would always tell myself its too hard) but it’s really not! We make it complicated. All you have to do is listen to Christian music and read the bible, but the key part to that all is to have a relationship with God and we start by doing those things I just said and praying and talking to him. Then when you focus on God and Godly things it will click! But really press into it all, make sure you understand the words of the bible.
|April 17, 2016 at 13:56|
I also recently started a blog called GirlplusGod.com if you want to check it out! Theres not alot of posts up I’m just starting out but maybe it could help you out a bit or if you ever want me to write a topic or request an email account is on the website or firstname.lastname@example.org
|April 17, 2016 at 14:16|
I know what you’re going through! I used to be really worried about not finding a guy. There comes a time when you just have to step back and realize that the situations you are going through now is God making you into who you need to be! Being single really is a blessing. Use this time to focus on your relationship with God. Check out some of the articles on being single on the app iDisciple, they helped me a lot!
|May 17, 2016 at 09:24|
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