I’m so frustrated. Self harm is really the only thing I feel I can do to relieve me of pain, anxiety, and anger. Believe me, I’ve tried everything from writing to chucking oranges at my mom’s car, to breaking things, but the rush just isn’t the same. My parents freak about it every time I do, and right before Thanksgiving, it was worse than normal. I cut too deep and I was bleeding out all over the floor…I couldn’t handle it and had to call my dad, who was silently pissed as he cleaned the floor. My mom handled it even worse, and I had to spend a LONG time convincing them not to take me to a mental hospital. My dad thought I was trying to kill myself, and I don’t know….maybe I was. I was so afraid that if they took me to a clinic, the doctors wouldn’t let me come home again. Anyway, a have scars everywhere and it’s humiliating when someone notices, but I CAN’T STOP!!! I’ve been through three therapists already and I don’t know what to do anymore!
|January 8, 2016 at 15:10|
I know someone who deals with the same problem and I’ll try to help in the best way I can and let the Lord lead me. Of course theres other girls on here who have experienced what you are going through (I personally haven’t) but I will help in the best way I can!
I read something online that seemed helpful. When ever you feel like cutting draw on your arm with a pen or sharpe. It will feel kind of like a blade but its a pen and slowly you’ll see where and how often you’d would cut yourself but only you didn’t!
And its best you have support from a close friend of yours to comfort you. A friend you can trust where you can just tell her everything you feel and just get it off your chest, keeping it cooped up will only make it worse.
I know this is kinda obvious but try to develop a strong and unbreaking relation ship with the Lord. Because in the end He is the only one who can help you. Read your bible and pray, even if its small. It doesn’t need to be big and over the top, the Lord hears all of our prayers. He’s willing to listen, and if we’re willing to listen, he’ll speak. God is the miracle healer, he gave a blind man sight, made a lame man walk, raised a dead man back to LIFE! God can do anything, big or small. No task is too hard for the Lord.
Talk to a trusted adult, either your parents, pastor, aunt, uncle, grandparent. Anyone whom you are willing to talk to and they’ll help you in your journey through life. Because even though this may seem like this is it, that there is nothing more to your life. There is! There’s always hope. The devil will give you lies, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He comes to destroy your life and crumble you down until you have nothing life. But the Lord is there to build us up, to pull us up from rock bottom, to use us to nurture in others life! The devil tries to get us to give up but the Lord sees it as a learning experience. When you will be healed the Lord will use you to minister to other girls who are also struggling. And you’ll be glad you didn’t give up, and didn’t give in. Draw near to God and God will draw near to you.
Don’t ever give up, don’t ever stop fighting, because there is a battle to be won. It already has been won! Just keep fighting, and praying, and never giving up. Because you can do it. Anything is possible with the Lord.
|January 8, 2016 at 20:51|
Thanks, I appreciate the encouragement. 🙂
I think this is where I struggle most, the fact that I can’t decide if I can trust God with my life…or even like Him. I definitely believe in God, and that Jesus died for us, and I have accepted him, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. Building a relationship seems like this impossible feat to me, and even building relationships with people is extremely hard. I’m not very good at communication or voicing my feelings, so a lot of times when I try and talk to an adult, it either turns into a lecture or they misunderstand what I’m trying to say.
I really have tried, and I have done the pen thing a couple of times (that is somewhat helpful, actually), but I don’t know how to let go of this addiction. Whenever I don’t have a blade, I get really grumpy and end up taking it out on my family, so isn’t it better to just cut and save everyone else the trouble? I don’t know, I guess I just don’t understand what to do anymore…
Thanks again though, it means a lot that you care.
|January 9, 2016 at 08:35|
I would say the first step in really trusting God is reading the bible. Going to church is good and all but they only teach you what they know and they’re experiences. If you read the bible on your own you’ll find out amazing things! Pray before you do it, something simple like “Lord please help me understand this. And let me get something amazing out of it.”
And about the cutting. Get into a new habit, to where every time you feel like cutting pray or read your bible. Excuse your self to spend some time with God. It will refresh your soul and help you, even though it doesn’t seem like it will it will! And if you don’t feel like God is speaking to you, listen a little closer because He ALWAYS has something to say.
If you have any more questions do not hesitate to ask! At all! I’m glad for the opportunity to help in anyway possible.
|January 10, 2016 at 21:19|
That’s my email. I’m always available.
I self harmed for two years of my life. I know what it’s like; I know the relief, the destruction, and the healing. As of December 10, 2015, I am a year clean. One. Whole. Year. It’s been the best year of my life. I know it seems like you’ll never be okay, but let me tell you something: I am so unbelievably okay. You *can* get through this. I promise. I rarely ever promise, but in this case, I do.
Do you like music? Music is one of the most important things in my life. It’s carried me through so many things. Just listening to music can be an enormous outlet, let alone playing and creating it. Music. Music is good.
I know it sucks, but it’s really important to talk to someone about it. Ideally it would be an adult, but it can also be friends, siblings, even me. I mean that. Talking was something I didn’t do, and I am far worse off because of it.
I second everything Artisey said.
I’ll be praying for you <3
|January 11, 2016 at 00:58|
Oh, and building a relationship with God is hard. Like, really hard. It definitely doesn’t happen over night. Do you have a daily prayer life? Cause that’s important. It’s hard, and I’m definitely still working on it, but it makes everything better.
|January 11, 2016 at 01:40|
Self harm addiction is hard. And what I have learned is 1) it’s helpful to know the why, and try to figure out another way to deal but truthfully 2) most often in order to defeat 1 addiction you turn to another. That was my case. I went from drugs and alcohol, to self harm, to smoking (and then to vaping) now I’m 20 so smoking is legal for me.
As for me, obviously I said smoking has been a new addiction for me, but some other things that have helped is tracing my finger over my scars (reminds me I don’t want to do it) snapping a rubber band, exercise (25mins of HIIT training would release the same endorphins, just don’t do it 2 days in a row or more than 3x week) yoga can be good once you learn how to really do it. Coloring has also helped me. And sometimes getting fresh air. Then one of the biggest things (that again goes back to a strong support) is talking your feelings out. It can be extremely beneficial. Therapy can also be good if you are willing and your family will let you.
Personally, even when I was trying to heal, I could not give up my razor blade. If you can that’s great, but if not I understand. And just don’t beat yourself up for any slip ups. It is an addiction and hard to overcome.
|January 17, 2016 at 12:57|
First, thank you for posting this. I thought I was the only one here going through this. And I want to let you know you’re not alone.
I’m not sure what to do either. I thought I’d moved past this, but it keeps coming back even worse than the last time. I’ve tried Christian “counseling” before. I was told by one of the leaders “It’s nothing too serious, I mean it’s not like you’re addicted to drugs or something”. Other leaders told me to pray more and that basically, I have depression because I’m sinning and I don’t have enough faith.
“Try harder” Is all I’ve heard so far; “Stop playing the victim”.
I wish I had advice for you 🙁 I’m a mess, too.
**This person isn’t a Christian, but I hope these videos help somehow**
|March 7, 2016 at 14:54|
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