I’m curious if boys or a boy will ever like me? Every time I start to think a boy is cute, I later somehow find out he has a girlfriend. Or the only ones who like me are the ones that are a little mean or creepy. A couple weeks ago, I became friends with a boy named Caleb. He was with a mutual friend, and when she said my name, he gave me such a happy smile. No teeth, but so wide and genuine. He was laughing and when he saw me he blushed a little. It was adorable! I love seeing him because he always looks so happy and fun. At the very least, he would be the perfect friend for me. If it doesn’t work out as having a crush, I could see us being like brother and sister. Last week we had a surprise going away party for my pastor and he was also being so adorable. He kept looking at me and when I was laughing too. I got up from my table to do something and I saw his mom or someone point to me. When I saw him, he blushed a little and immediately looked away. And before he left, he turned around to look and probably smile at me for a couple seconds. I didn’t look up but was looking in his general direction. His dad also smiled at me and I kept seeing his siblings walk by. I’m not sure, but it seems like his family knows who I am or he’s said good things about me. I hear most people like me but I can’t imagine them ever saying something good about me to someone else. I know I might be reading too much into things, but all I know is I can usually feel if someone does or doesn’t like me with my intuition. If there’s chemistry, a connection, or if it feels warm and accepting or cold. I also have another example: today at another event I met a really nice lady. We had a really good conversation and it made my day how happy she was to be talking to me and meet me . She and my mom then started talking. Then her youngest son stepped away from his family a little to face me, run a hand through his hair and give me like the biggest and happiest smile. His mouth was open like he was going to laugh and he held eye contact with me. I did smile back but I probably looked nervous. The smile and hair thing honestly felt a little flirty. I don’t know if I should trust myself to know what something feels like though. I am hard of hearing and have hearing aids, so I’ve been trying to teach myself to pay attention to body language more. I think I’m becoming a lot more visual and like reading body language more than talking. Anyway, I was looking down and he glanced at me again. It probably looked like I was looking at his legs. Him and his whole family seemed nice and patient anyway. I think everyone at my church can tell I’m a nervous person sometimes and I think everyone and the two people I mentioned would be patient with me. I’m trying to work on not being so nervous to look at boys for a few seconds longer or just give them a bigger, more meaningful smile too. It can just be a good friendship. The guy who was smiling and running his hand through his hair ended having a girlfriend. She was in his Instagram profile picture. So will I ever be able to find a guy I like who isn’t already dating? And can I ever trust myself to know what something feels like? I get compliments sometimes, like “You’re pretty” and “Your makeup looks good today”, so maybe the guy just thought I was pretty? Thank you all so much for your help! Let me know if you think I should be more socially appropriate too
|May 29, 2016 at 18:27|
Before I begin, I write this because I am honestly concerned about your well being. I dont not say any of this stuff to come off as sharp, ugly, or critical. I write this to help you in anyway I possibly can in the most honest way that I can. I hope I can help.
First off, you dont need to base your worth on whether or not you have a boyfriend. You are your own person. You are a independent young lady in the 21st century and dont need a boy. Aren’t you still in high school anyway? You dont need a boyfriend! Just focus on school, your hobbies and yourself. There plenty to worry about besides boys. Perfect example? Worry about your relationship with God. I always see posts by you talking about boys and your relationship with them. Instead of focusing all your energy on your relationship with boys, focus that energy on your relationship with God. I did notice you mentioned you wanted to be more comfortable around boys and you should work on that, but not because the goal our of it is to get a boyfriend. You should try to be comfortable around boys because, again, you are a young lady in the 21st century and should be as comfortable around boys as you are girls. This is a time in your life you are not expected to have a boyfriend, so enjoy it!
Second, dont put so much weight on body language. People just do certain things sometimes. I cant explain why, its just whats happens. You shouldn’t base if someone likes you or not entirely on body language because there is so much more to a person beside if they just flip their hair and smile. If you thought smiling at someone meant they liked them, then because I smile at everybody, I like everybody. But that’s just not the case. I just want to be nice and, most of the time, I’m just a happy person and like to smile. Honestly, I can imagine a lot of people feeling the same way I do about that sort of thing. You might want to ask yourself some questions not based on body language like the following.
Do you talk to these people?
In general, if people talk to you they probably think you are interesting or like you are a person/friend or like what you have to say. If they talk to you often, they think you’re pretty cool and enjoy your company. If people like you, nine times out of ten they will talk to you. If I like a someone, even just in a friendly sense, I’ll make an effort to try to talk to them. If I’m talking to someone of the opposite gender, It doesn’t necessarily mean I like them. Chances are, I just like them as a friend. Granted, it can be different for guys someones but its always good to stick with seeing it as friendly.
If this is your first time meeting them, well then chances are, they dont like you. They are just being friendly and nice. Same thing goes for probably the first couple encounters you have with this person. Also, if this is a long, long term friend or acquaintance, they probably dont like you either. They are just being nice and friendly. If you and someone else constantly have encounters and talk, you are probably friends and they like you as a person, in a friendly way.
I cannot stress enough, if there is no other sign besides body language that they might like you, then they dont. People who like other people are not just going to smile at then and that’s it. Solely smiling at someone is not going to get you a boyfriend. Not should it get a guy a girlfriend. All this stuff can pertain to both genders. If there are other things besides body language, such as if they talk to you often and are genuinely interested you and what you like to do, then maybe you should consider if they like you are not. But remember, there are a bunch of other factors that I didn’t mention, and might not even know, that could play into if someone likes you or not. It all just depends and you have to use your best judgement.
Third, God has perfect timing. You question whether or not you will ever get a boyfriend or like you. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that you will have guys who like you and will eventually find a loving boyfriend, who hopefully, be a loving husband. But that isn’t the real point. Right now, you are struggling with doubt and patience. You doubt a guy will ever like you and having trouble waiting for the guy for you. When you doubt and are impatient with stuff like this, you are doubtful in Gods plan for you and are impatient with it. God knows we’re not perfect and knows we will doubt and be impatient with Him. I know its hard to hear but you need to have faith and be patient in Gods plan. Ever heard the saying “there is a time for everything?” That is God’s perfect timing. God has a plan for you! God has different times and people in your life for different reasons and now obviously isn’t the time for you to have a boyfriend and that’s ok. Instead of dwelling on that, open your eyes and look to God and try to seek out what He is looking for you to do during this time of your life. Maybe God is calling you to build up yourself or really build your relationship with Him. I dont know what God is looking for you to do right now but there is a meaning to it and you should look for it.
Forth, you are loved. God loves you, Jesus loves you and I dont even know you and genuinely care about your problems. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be writing this. I am sure other people love you and care about you beyond your comprehension. Because of this, you dont need a boy to love you to feel that love. All you need to know is God and that he has endless love for you.
Best wishes and prayers for you!
|May 30, 2016 at 13:00|
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.