So, okay this is gonna sound like really weird so please do not judge me haha. I am strange and theatrical. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be Kelly. Anyhoo haha.
So, every night I have been kneeling by my bedside and dramatically folding my hands and praying instead of just praying in my head like I used to (I am not Catholic, just to put that out there). The reason? Well I feel my prayers have not been being answered. Well, some have, some I am still waiting. For instance, I have found a good school and friends (answered prayers) however, I still have always been in the God damn chorus (sorry, had to put that out there) in drama, still take antidepressants (I act funny when I am not on them so I HAVE to or Mama will ask me “Did you take your medications this morning Kelly?”), have panic attacks, am single and feel rejected by boys, am overweight, and various other things. So not all my prayers have been answered or rather I am still waiting.
So I am trying a new method of prayer because I feel maybe my prayers will be answered. I know it sounds pathetic and God hears our prayers, but still I feel…. I don’t know, I feel…. forsaken, abandoned. The Lord has not abandoned me or forgotten me, but as I was making my own monologue in the car this morning, next to my friends I feel like a big forsaken trash can. Yeah. Pathetic. No one likes losers. Anyway…
I am afraid of punishment because I know I cannot understand God and it probably all looks silly because the Lord has promised a plan for me but…and it’s almost like I am doing it in vein but still I wont stop. I am at hard spot right now. Thank you, please no negative comments. Thank you!
|July 31, 2015 at 21:30|
I know how it feels :/
|July 31, 2015 at 21:42|
When you’re afraid of punishment, you’re experiencing condemnation and condemnation is from Satan. Period.
Revelation 12:10 tells us Satan is the “Accuser of the brethren.” And in Romans 8:1 God tells us there is NO condemnation for those of us in Christ Jesus. Romans was originally written in Greek, and the word used for “condemnation” is “Katarima” which means “Punishment following condemnation.” Jesus has taken the punishment for every single sin–past, present and future–so you needn’t fear punishment from God, if you have accepted Jesus’ sacrifice 🙂
1 John 4:18 tells us:
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Also keep in mind that God a spirit of fear is never, ever from God. God has given us power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
As far as your prayers, keep in mind God may not miraculously heal you from depression, or everything else you mentioned. Perhaps a miraculous healing wouldn’t be good for you.
|August 1, 2015 at 10:38|
^ Mental illness has nothing to do with ”wrong beliefs” 🙂
|August 1, 2015 at 13:48|
Actually, it does.
Depression and anxiety can be caused by a variety of things, including wrong beliefs, chemical imbalances and traumatic experiences. Wrong beliefs cause wrong thinking, and our thoughts actually change our brain structure for better or worse! Our brain structure influences our emotions and actions.
|August 1, 2015 at 16:48|
“If God were to miraculously take the depression and anxiety away, you might never realize how wrong your beliefs are” makes it sound like you’re automatically assuming she’s doing something wrong to deserve this, and until she learns her lesson, she’ll have to suffer. I think Christians too often over spiritualize these kinda things.
I’ve had depression for 10 years, so I know your thinking has little to do with it.
Actual causes of abuse:
Ways to cope:
|August 1, 2015 at 17:48|
I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety as well, and found that the main reason is because of a variety of things in my life that happened when I was a child. These occurrences caused me to believe certain things about myself, other people, the Bible and God that were negative and completely untrue.
Depression isn’t about “learning your lesson”, suffering or being punished.
Here’s a (probably over) simplified example of what I was talking about: If you honestly believe everyone hates you, you’ll be pretty anxious and unhappy around people. If God were to take away you unhappiness and anxiety without you changing your beliefs, you’d feel better, but be unable to develop happy, close relationships with other people.
That being said, it’s absolutely important as you said to understand that there are many different factors in depression and anxiety. Sometimes it is physiological, in which case medication is extremely helpful. But sometimes medication only covers up the symptoms and doesn’t treat the actual cause.
I’m not saying this is definitely what’s happening with you, @Kelly, only that our thoughts and beliefs are really powerful and really can influence how we feel.
Also to be clear, I’m not saying examining your thoughts/beliefs is the sole treatment for depression. There are many options that are important to consider when treating depression, and it’s best to discuss that with your therapist/doctor/parent since depression is a very personal issue.
|August 1, 2015 at 21:11|
My perspective on the position of prayer – I don’t believe there’s anything about folding your hands that makes God more “willing” to listen to you or anything like that. However, I might suggest doing something like folding your hands, praying out loud, or keeping a prayer journal *if* it will keep you more focused on prayer. For me personally, actually writing my prayers out helps me stay more focused on praying than if I were just praying in my head.
|August 1, 2015 at 21:55|
It really doesn’t matter what you posture is or if you are praying out loud. What matters is that you are praying with your heart.
|August 2, 2015 at 17:18|
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.