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Christian Life

Girl to Girl Talk: “How Do I Know Who My True Friends Are vs. Fake Friends?”

I wanted to answer some questions about friendships from the “Girl Talk” forum about friends. One girl asked, “How do I know who my true friends are?” and the title of her post was “Fake Friends.” Click here to read full post: http://www.projectinspired.com/girl-talk/topic/fake-friends/

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One thing I want to share with you girls that you may have already heard is that “you are the company you keep.” Many people don’t think it’s a big deal who their friends are, or feel like their friends chose them in a sense. Both can be common beliefs, but the reality is that you can choose your friends. No one forces you to hang out with certain people. Look at Jesus. He specifically chose 12 disciples to be leaders in the Kingdom and was particularly looking for those who could bring the Kingdom of God to earth. He chose ordinary men, but He also knew they were willing to follow God and honor Him.

 

Bad company corrupts good morals. (1 Corinthians 15:33)

 

Do your friends honor God? Do they respect your beliefs? Do your friends pressure you to do what you don’t want to do? Do your friends encourage you or tear you down? I want to have you ask yourself a number of things, and when you answer from your heart, you will know if they are truly GOOD friends or not. The Lord says in the Word you will KNOW a tree by its fruit (Matthew 7:16). Examine the fruit of your friends, whether it be love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23), or examine if the fruit of your friendship is of the world/flesh, as it specifies in the Bible.

 

 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which areimmorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)

 

It’s okay to be a light to the darkness, but it doesn’t mean you need to hang out with those who bring you down all the time or don’t produce good fruit. My Aunt Cindy always spoke a word of wisdom to me growing up. When I would hang out with different friends, she would say regarding a situation or person, “What is the fruit of it?” Meaning, does it produce the things of God? Does it produce peace, love and joy? Or does it produce strife, jealousy, gossip, sin, betrayal or destruction? So good—such wisdom! Let us examine ourselves daily as well as our friendships, amen?

 

 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?  (Matthew 7:16)

 

You may be assigned to be a light to someone, but just MAKE SURE you are watchful, sober, prayerful and remain that light, because you can get sucked into darkness without realizing it. Temptation is REAL, and you need to be suited up with the armor of God. Be in the Word, and maybe even have a good godly friend with you when you are shining your light for Christ to that person you want to share God with. You will be surprised how peer pressure can really push you and also how you may have good intentions, but not everyone wants to be delivered. Not everyone WANTS to follow Christ.

 

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)

 

We as believers need to watch who we are around (I’m not saying to avoid nonbelievers—no, not at all—but we need to go out in two or more as the Bible says in ministry). The light outshines the darkness (John 1:5),but the enemy knows He can get you off-course with the right person who can misguide or you or tempt you. Trust me, I have been in these types of situations. It is so true, girls: Bad company DOES corrupt good morals and behavior! The Word is TRUTH. God says shine your light, but also saysdon’t walk with the wicked…so just know whom they are serving. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you and read Galatians 5. If you plant seeds and pray, great, but eventually you will know by their life, what they say and how they live if they are really willing to walk with God, and if they are destructive, maybe pray God helps remove them from your life.

 

And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14)

 

Be aware and mindful—not fearful, but watch because the devil doesn’t come in with red horns and a pitchfork announcing himself, He uses people and situations! Crazy, I know, but it is the truth!When I look back on my life and I see the things that were not honoring to God, I see that it was not only my choices, but also the PEOPLE. Remember, Satan comes as an angel of light—it says in the Bible something may SEEM right, but in the end, it leads to death. “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death.” (Proverbs 14:12)

 

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
 whatever they do prospers.
(Proverbs 1:1-3)

 

Be around godly influences who inspire you to want to honor God and who want to keep His commands. You can have fun and have adventures with friends, and you don’t always have to be in church, but there are fun, cool people to hang out with who love Jesus and who WANT to honor purity, Holiness and a godly lifestyle! They are rare, but if you choose to be selective and ask God to show you who to be around, He will guide you. You may have a smaller group of friends, but at least you can pray together and shine for Christ to others around you! Amen?

Girls, I pray that you will have godly girlfriends who can reach out to others without getting sucked into the worldly systems or popularity contests that a lot of young girls have to battle with. May you have an AUDIENCE of ONE and may you seek to please the opinion of ONE—that is the Lord, amen? I love you and I am praying for you and your friendships. Love never fails, but we also need use wisdom in who we are around and what we open ourselves up to. Let us honor God with all areas of our lives. Do you agree?

 

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 16:20)

 

Ask God to help you evaluate your friendships—if they are TRULY for you and the call of God for your life, or not. I am praying for you, PI Girls!

Comment below and feel free to message me any questions at facebook.com/ChristiGiven. Love you, PI Girls! @ChristiGiven

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7 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by chelsea_lynae9 on November 16, 2014 at 22:21

    Friendships have always been a struggle for me, finding people with the same morals as I do. All of my friends say they are Christians, but they don’t really worship and hold the morals that I do. They are always supportive and don’t do destructive or negative things except for use some choice words. If I cut out all of these friends… I’d have one left. I try to interest them more in Christ and every so often they take an interest. I’m not sure if that’s considered spending time with the wrong people or not. Suggestions?

  2. itsjanapee

    Posted by itsjanapee on September 5, 2014 at 16:10

    Thank you for this article! I can understand this fully. I’m in such situation.. Really.. I was the light.. Was because now, i feel i’ve been drowned in to the darkness and it’s hard for me to get out.. Now, i lost some of my good friends.. I am in deep sorrow.. I am so restless.. So lost.. So confused.. So tired.. I keep praying to God to enlighten me.. To help me.. I’ve got no one else now to talk to since everything happened..

    • ChanCav

      Posted by ChanCav on November 17, 2014 at 03:13

      I know exactly how you feel! I recently dropped a close friend of mine because she wasn’t a very good influence for me. Thankfully I’ve been able to find friends who share the same beliefs as I do and we all support each other! I hope you find friends that will bring you up!

  3. Mariposa

    Posted by Mariposa on September 4, 2014 at 19:12

    Thank you for this post, christi!!! Very inspiring, I struggle with this so much. ♥ (all the Bible references were super cool too, I like when articles include verses supporting everything they are saying- not only so I can compare the two sources to prove balidity but also so that I can highlight the verses in my Bible and be reminded of the topic when I’m reading 🙂

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by andriloveschrist on September 2, 2014 at 20:05

    Thank you for this article Christi :))!!! Loved all of the verses you included, & I’m glad the Lord lead me to meet, different friends at church. It’s amazing to be able to hang out with people with holy devotion, such as your own:)!

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by naomy360 on September 1, 2014 at 15:29

    thank you for this article it was very wise and helpful,im glad I can always come on PL and find the GODLY wisdom that I need in tough situations
    -naomy

  6. Mandi Pi

    Posted by Mandi Pi on September 1, 2014 at 09:49

    True friends do not sit and watch when you do something wrong or make a bad decision–they confront you about it, speak the truth in love, then help you find a solution. 🙂