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Christian Life

Girl to Girl Talk: How to Avoid Temptation and Wait on God

temptation

Be advised: This week’s material is for more mature teens. 

Every week I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and council. I want to help answer some of your questions about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.

This week’s question comes from a couple of girls asking about sexual purity, lustful thoughts and other issues like masturbation and sex: 

I don’t want to offend anybody. I am virgin, but i don’t see why sex is supposed to be so special. I know that marriage thing but WHY is it so special we should wait? I am just very confused.

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I heard that it is wrong to masturbate if you are a Christian. Is this true? Just curious.

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These are some great questions, and the answers can be difficult to figure out as a teen because of the sexualized culture we live in. With films, music, movies and the media telling young people that premarital sex is the norm, how can a Christian girl remain pure until her wedding day? How can a young person go against the strong current of the world we live in? 

So if your eye–even your good eye–causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell (Matthew 5:29).

First of all, if you have sexual feelings for someone, it’s not abnormal. It’s human nature. We all will most likely experience love, temptation and the natural feelings that come with that. The Bible talks about love and passion in the Song of Solomon, and we also know that God created sex for marriage. The issue with our culture is that the world will tell you that you can be with whoever you want for however long you want with no commitment required.

God wants the BEST for you, and He designed you to be sexually pure for ONE person who you could spend the rest of your life with. Granted, you may have fallen or may feel unworthy of marriage if you have messed up in that area, but God sees your heart. There is forgiveness!

Purity and marriage are the best choices because you are in God’s will. God loves marriage. He designed it and wants to bless it. This doesn’t mean you won’t have to sacrifice or work hard at it, but it will be rewarding. Just like with anything else you have to work on, the outcome will be better than if you did it the world’s way. Why?

First, when you are pure, you aren’t at risk for pregnancy outside of marriage, which can be hard on a teen who may not be ready for the responsibilities of adulthood and parenting. Secondly, you avoid catching sexually transmitted diseases. Thirdly, you are waiting on God for His best because you trust in Him and are waiting for a man of God who will respect you and honor you. (See singer Joel of for KING & COUNTRY discuss this in his video on respect and honor!)

Why is waiting to have sex a better option than sleeping with your boyfriend?

The world won’t tell you how much heartbreak and emotional damage it causes once the relationship is over or when the pleasure ends. There is a war for your soul, your purity and your integrity (Ephesians 6:12). We have to stand up as women of God and be different. God wants to bless you, not torture you. Even though at times you may feel like it is hard or that there is so much peer pressure, remember, you are different as a follower of Christ and a representative of God. God even tells us to not conform to the patterns of the world but to be transformed by renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).

When you are ready for a lifelong commitment of serving your spouse in marriage and God has brought a man of God into your life, you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of sex within the confinements of marriage, which God wants you to have and enjoy.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth (Proverbs 5:18).

Regarding the question about masturbation, let’s look at some scriptures to see what God’s Word tells us about holiness and purity. We know that the Bible doesn’t specifically use the word “masturbation,” but there are many scriptures on lust, adultery and purity. When it comes to sexual temptation, you should ask yourself, “Is this harming my relationship with the Lord or is this not affecting my walk with God?” Ask God and He will surely tell you!

Who may ascend to the hill of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? [She] who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up [her] soul to an idol or swear by what is false (Psalm 24: 3-4).

The Bible warns us to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and that if a man looks at a woman with lust, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28). God takes purity very seriously, and if you love the Lord and have reverence for Him, consider your thoughts and examine your heart. This doesn’t mean you will be perfect or will never face temptation; there is a constant battle for our attention, even in movies, television and media.

My advice is to guard your heart and mind, ask God for help, pray, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). No one has to give an account to God but you. Your mom, your friends, your boyfriend or your ex-boyfriend won’t stand in for you–you yourself will have to stand before God one day. 

So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God (Romans 14:12).

Girls, if you still have questions or are struggling, I recommend a pair of great books, written for males and females individually, called Every Young Man’s Battle and Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn. These books have a Christian worldview of how to remain set apart for the Lord and how to overcome the natural struggles teens face. They are available at Barnes & Noble and Family Christian stores.

I pray that this article will help you, girls. Comment below if you have further questions!

More Stories Like This on Project Inspired:

Girl to Girl Talk: How to Deal with Friends Who Don’t Understand Your Faith
Girl to Girl Talk: “Is It Okay to Question Your Beliefs?”
Girl to Girl Talk: Are Tattoos Sinful?

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Image: iStockPhoto, WaterBrook Publishing Co | ThinkStock + Project Inspired

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COMMENTS 17

  1. godlovesme316

    Posted by godlovesme316 on June 24, 2014 at 20:35

    my hormones are so out of whack; my sex drive is high; and yet, i am still a virgin….I have PCOS, a hormone disorder that hinders ovulation….irregular periods, depression……:( but now that my periods are regular, i know that i need to start temping so i can figure out when i do ovulate…..i am also 20 years old, dx’d at age 18….been a tough two years, but God is good. i have been tested in my faith, and have been found in favor, and my faith is strong and pure….knowing how many kids i will have is reassuring, as i almost walked away from my faith ( PCOS is also leading cause of infertility among women during childbearing years)……..

    these past few months though, i have been ‘masturbating’ and it really sucks. i hate doing it. as the world says, solo sex is better than dual sex…maybe so, but i would love to stop doing it and just start living pure again…

  2. hannaowlk

    Posted by hannaowlk on February 22, 2014 at 14:52

    I’ve done things in the past that I’m very ashamed of and wouldn’t dream of ever doing it now but the guilt still gets to me every now and then and I feel so worthless and unforgivable I’ve even said some stupid things to God out of fear that I just want to take back. But would God really let me take back anything I’ve said to him or promised to him if it was out of fear?cause I know I wouldn’t normally say that.

    • cinderkitteh

      Posted by cinderkitteh on March 27, 2014 at 08:16

      Your past actions and words don’t define you as a person. You aren’t damaged goods because of things you di in your past. And also, you are forgivable-remember, Jesus died for EVERYONE, not just the girls who save sex for marriage or the guys who go to church every Sunday. God will forgive you if you truly want yourself to be, and He can take anything you throw at Him. Just pray and continue to trust Him, and try to live right as best you can. We’re all rooting for you!

  3. the_real_me101

    Posted by the_real_me101 on February 15, 2014 at 15:12

    Thank you

  4. hannah1997

    Posted by hannah1997 on April 28, 2013 at 18:59

    Wonderful articule!! I have actually read both “Every Young Man’s Battle” and “Every Young Woman’s Battle” and both did WONDERS for me!! I highly, highly, highly recommend them to both girls and guys (however, the “Every Young Woman’s Battle” wouldn’t be very helpful to guys, but both were very helpful to me as a young woman). I honestly didn’t understand everything in regard to these matters, but I wanted to, and Mom got me “Every Young Woman’s Battle” and I totally devoured it. I grew so much in the Lord from reading it and it helped me so, so much! It opened my eyes to important issues, and soon afterward I read “Every Young Man’s Battle”. This book helped me in a different way, but almost as much as “Every Young Woman’s Battle”. I now understand WHY it is so important for young woman to be modest and how hard it is for young men to stay pure. In conclusion, I loved these books. :) Changed my walk with God – For the better!! :)

  5. sosocute

    Posted by sosocute on April 25, 2013 at 15:56

    masturbation is not necessarily “evil” but it is questionable because god created sex for marriage to create a child but when you masturbate its taking gods plan into your own hands I don’t masturbate but that’s just me.

  6. AlexisDavinaMonroe

    Posted by AlexisDavinaMonroe on April 20, 2013 at 11:09

    Is there a specific place to get these books?

  7. Caring_Christian

    Posted by Caring_Christian on April 18, 2013 at 17:53

    I read “Every Women’s Battle” it helped me so much with my walk wiht Christ.

  8. Loreal

    Posted by Loreal on April 18, 2013 at 10:26

    There isnt anything wrong having guy friends , but i believe that your body mind soul and heart should be for your hubby and no one esle. As well as your hubbys body mind soul and heart should only be for you , his wife.

  9. Posted by Nicole on April 17, 2013 at 19:08

    This was a FANTASTIC article, filled with knowledge, scriptural references, and guidance! Great job Christina. I have also read that book, and it really encouraged me. Great choice!

  10. Grace_F

    Posted by Grace_F on April 17, 2013 at 16:36

    So my boyfriend, he’s Roman Catholic like me, but his family doesn’t really practice the faith(they only go to church on Christmas and Easter). And we’ve been together for awhile and we talk about in the far future hopefully getting married and stuff. It came up one day, i forget how/why, but he was under the impression that, if we got to this point, we were gonna live together when we’re engaged. I find that wrong. He says he’ll do whatever I want, but he doesnt understand why. Apparently thats what his parents did. I really wanna say something like what they did was not right, and that they aren’t that great of Christians either(i mean they dont go to church and stuff) but I dont want to offend him/hurt his feelings. Advice? (It relates to the topic b/c its about staying pure)

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by jesusgirl4life on July 27, 2013 at 18:53

      Hey Grace! I am catholic, too. As far as living together, I think it might pose as a hazard to you both. You live together after marriage. That is kinda the point! dont forget that your husband is supposed to lead you closer to christ and vice versa. If he is your future husband, be open to communicating about this. After all, it is pretty important. If he is a man of god, he will be happy that you stepped forward to guide both of your souls. Best of luck! “let god make a man out of him before you try to make a husband out of him” <3

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by jesusgirl4life on July 27, 2013 at 18:47

      Hey Grace!

  11. Glamcat101

    Posted by Glamcat101 on April 16, 2013 at 13:52

    Great article! :D

  12. Midnight

    Posted by Midnight on April 15, 2013 at 14:32

    My brother and I already have both of these books :)

  13. Entertaining angels

    Posted by Entertaining angels on April 15, 2013 at 12:41

    Absolute love the article and the Bible verse that go along with the article..Great Job:D
    As my walk with God I Strive to have a pure heart:) it’s not easy But God know what’s best for me:D