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Christian Life

Girl to Girl Talk: “Should I Be in a Long-Distance Relationship?”

Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions. Contact me @ChristiGiven.

This week, a PI Girl asked a question about having a long-distance relationship. To read the full post, click here.

“This guy and I are dating; just a year apart from each other. Thing is, he lives in AZ and I live in KS. We video chat when we can and we talk all the time, but we are just worried about us [being] in public school and not knowing what will happen. I just don’t know what to do! Please help!”

This is a great question, and is obviously every scenario is different, but I will give some generic advice for those contemplating having or keeping a long-distance relationship. (See the “Five Things to Consider in a Long-Distance Relationship,” below.)

Girls, make sure you are truly serious about the relationship before you commit to something that is far away. This is a touchy subject for some girls, but you need to be wise and protect your heart, especially if you are not as mature in your faith. You need to really be thinking about God’s BEST and also fight for what is good and godly. If the relationship is from God, He will give you divine clarity; just seek God first.

 

Five Things to Consider in a Long-Distance Relationship

1. Distance. It really depends on how far. Are we talking a couple of hours away, out of state or even out of the country? Relationships grow through time spent together, and yes, distance makes the heart grow fonder, but not too far where you never see each other. Each relationship is different, of course.

2. How long will you be apart? This is something to consider and factor in, as life is short and you don’t want to waste time in a romantic relationship where you may not be certain when the person could move close by. Also consider whether they’re ever going to move back or be near you. Consider praying if you are to marry the person in the future or where the ultimate location will be.

3. Plan for the future. If you’re a teenager and having a long-distance relationship, you may want to seriously reconsider, as you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. I know you may roll your eyes and think, “But I’m in love with him…” but really, years down the line, do you want to waste time with someone who isn’t going to be your husband? If he possibly could be, that’s wonderful, but otherwise don’t invest so much time in a short-term relationship, especially if it’s super long-distance. 

4. Guard your heart. You’ve heard it said before to protect your heart. This is actually from the Bible (Proverbs 4:23), and the Lord says that out of it flows the issues of life. If your heart is wounded, it can lead to heartbreak, sin and other harmful issues. Let’s make sure we don’t make unwise choices that could have long-term effects on our emotions, relationships and potential connection with our mate. Amen?

5. Seek God’s Word. Of course, I point back to the Holy Bible and the Word of God because it is truly what matters. Ask yourself: “Does this relationship glorify God?” Does the fruit of this connection and friendship/relationship honor the Lord? Is there long-term potential in this relationship?” If so, congrats—that is exciting if there is positive reasoning in sticking through a long-distance relationship. On the other hand, if there is confusion, uncertainty or lack of peace, I would really dig deep into the Word and ask God to give you clarity. He will, and God knows what is best!

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PI Girls, what do YOU think about long-distance relationships? Comment below!

Message me questions or contact me at facebook.com/ChristiGiven.

God bless you, PI Girls! 

Image: Thinkstock

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9 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by krazk01 on April 12, 2015 at 08:02

    I am 15 years old, and me and my best guy friend dated for 2 years in close proximity before I moved. Come this June will have marked an entire year since our LDR began. My advice for other high school girls adds up to this:

    If your gonna be in an LDR but are not currently in one yet, remember communication is important. If you don’t talk about the future of where the relationship is going then its basically a waste of time.

    It is not going to be easy. You will be lonely very often, and between school, and extracurriculars it will get hard to find alone time together. If you wish to keep in contact you will have to get creative.
    Remember:
    If even one of the partners is not 100% committed it will not work.

    Now, see even though most LDRs, and teenage relationships combined don’t work doesn’t mean all of them are destined to.

    And as for the Christian aspect of this: If it is God’s will for the relationship to last then it will work out regardless of distance, because his will is always done.

    Hope this helps!

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by MilkPrincess on April 12, 2015 at 05:42

    Ya know, distance is what you make of it. I’m an army brat and I’ve moved around a lot, so I have friends all over, and I’ve wanted to keep my long distance friendships. I know relationships are different, but why? Shouldn’t you be friends first? Maybe this is an opportunity to grow with a strong friendship foundation, and watch what God will do with the rest.

  3. mfin1998

    Posted by mfin1998 on April 11, 2015 at 21:53

    I met my boyfriend when I was a freshman, and he was a sophomore in highschool. He started college on the other side of the state, but we chose to continue our relationship. It has been difficult, and we were by no means a perfect couple beforehand, but by the grace of God the distance has only strengthened our love. Take the distance as a test of the Lord, and not as a burden; embrace it.

  4. CharisMarie

    Posted by CharisMarie on February 5, 2015 at 06:35

    Dont do it. Just don’t.

  5. Jesusloverofmysoul

    Posted by Jesusloverofmysoul on October 15, 2014 at 08:55

    This has actually showed me and given me advice so I think more about this guy I’m talking to if I’d want to be in a long distance relationship. I’m just praying to God right now about these two amazing christian guys I’m talking to. With God’s grace and his will I will have no problem. 🙂

  6. USGIRL95

    Posted by USGIRL95 on September 16, 2014 at 18:26

    I remember coping with sadness a year ago, depression anger anxites, mirgrains, I wasn’t talking much to anyone, I was very quite, not out going anymore, I was in a lot of tears, cut myself like once, I was falling away from my faith really bad, I was eighteen, when this happened,
    I do ‘ve a long distance relationship, no its a friendship, I been asked many times re u two dating, I ‘d get embarssed & lock myself in the rooms, during homeschooling meetings;. he told me no more locking doors Jessica’., went on a walk together, I still close my door, I at times wish ‘h a lock for my room door, I stopped
    than last fall it started all over again,
    I was lost without him I was overwhelmed with people I didn’t know being asked qustions, that I didn’t know how to cope with, Christy given, I’m that kind of person, doesn’t always like ??? being asked, I was crying a lot flashbacks ‘d be walks, hugs, Bible being out, I wept for like weeks on end, I felt like a completed mess, no he is five hours away from his house, going to GGC in P.A. Grove City P.A. that’s five hours away from my house, no I don’t put my head up anymore, no James never yelled at me, or swear, nor scream at me, I did scare couple times, not on popurse, it happened when I was sleeping in the homeschooling meetings or on break from teen club projects, five hours is long I can now handle it, better’. last saw him was graduation, nite, 5/31/13. hope to see him soon, again, I been digging my heels lately;. hearing his voice in my head & images.

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by pretty10 on September 15, 2014 at 15:23

    CHRISTI I need your advice.I am not a christian even though grew up hearing it alot. It as never really gotten into my heart. You how some people seek God and then in their searching He opens their heart and saves them. Well I know God has made a way in my life for me to seek Him (it is this website called setting captives free, it doesn’t save you but clasrifies God’s word for you) and truely understand the gospel but i find myself not seeking. AlSo in reading the bible to find out his characteristics. IT is seeking Him consistently that is a challenge. I procrastinate alot by using t he laptops sometimes watching the chats. (LISTENING TO MUSIC) instead of seeking Him and then I get behind on my homework.so then i really have no time any advice.

    • GraceGirl1379

      Posted by GraceGirl1379 on September 17, 2014 at 07:57

      It sounds like you’re already seeking him. If I’m understanding you right, you just don’t have time or don’t want to really think about Him constantly. It sounds to me like you understand who he is, what he did for you. What’s holding you back? Are you scared? Do you just not feel ready? Or are you uncertain if you want to give everything up? Because if you believe the he loved you enough to die for you, and if you WANT to be his daughter, then, to be blunt, stop trying to “seek him” because guess what? He found you! Idk where you are in your search for Jesus, so that advice might be irrelevant, but I gave it a shot.
      Peace out!

    • Speak4Elohim

      Posted by Speak4Elohim on September 16, 2014 at 19:27

      Pretty10,

      I understand the struggle. I grew up in a Christian household, going to church and Bible studies, and I STILL struggle to seek Him first. I recently talked to a very wise lady about my problem. She pointed out a verse in Mark 9:24 “Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” God does not want us to walk this world alone, he longs to draw us near to Him. It’s like this. Sometimes we don’t want God, but we WANT to want Him. Just pray and ask Him to stoke up the fire in your heart, and guide you in seeking Him. Also, reading your Bible first thing in the morning helps. I’m praying for you, darling.