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Q&A: How Do I Overcome Trust Issues?

I need some advice. I have trust issues that are impacting the way that I interact with other people. What should I do?

Thank you for having the courage to write to Project Inspired about this issue. Many girls struggle with the same thing, so I think it’s an important topic to address. Let’s start by acknowledging that “trust issues” do not just happen but are actually created by the events that have occurred in a person’s life. Getting rid of “trust issues” takes time and diligence, but it certainly can be done! Here are some suggestions that can help you get started:

  • Ask God for emotional healing. God is not just a healer of physical ailments, but He can and WILL heal emotional pain as well. Remember, God wants His children to be whole in EVERY area of their lives. Consider this: “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers” (3 John 1:2).
  • Engage in self reflection. It’s important to know that healing occurs at the same place that the injury itself occurred. In other words, in order to start healing your “trust issues” you must first know when, where, and by whom your trust was breeched. This can be very complicated, and in some instances it’d probably be best to go through this process with a counselor or therapist. It might be a good idea to contact your school counselor or pastor for assistance with this.
  • Choose to forgive. After doing your self reflection, decide to forgive the people who’ve hurt you and have likely contributed to your issues with trust. Remember, forgiving is for you, NOT for the other person. When you’re able to forgive someone who’s wronged you, you’re finally able to release all of the negative energy that has been pent up inside of you. A forgiveness prayer is a powerful tool to begin the healing process.

Allowing yourself to trust someone requires you to open up your inner world to that person. This can be really hard, especially if you’ve been burned in the past. However, you deserve GREAT relationships. Choose to allow The Holy Spirit to guide you and your relationships will soon begin to bear fruit.

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16 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by alicia41911 on September 14, 2013 at 21:50

    My trust issues stem from my father, as a child I as filled with nothing but empty promises. It still affects me to day, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years and my trust issues still get in the way of me believing and trusting in him. I feel that I am not even fully able to trust friends or family members, I would like to move on with my life and gain healthy relationships with people. I feel as if I can not speak to anyone about my trust issues. Please I need advise.

  2. emerald

    Posted by emerald on February 13, 2013 at 07:06

    i had a friend or so some youth girls, one day i was writing in my journal( not diary) what i write in that journal is about God and how i praise him and bible verses.. so i wrote i liked this guy but didnt leave his name on there so no one will know if they were to read the journal. i took it to chruch and they saw me writing on it and they decided to ask me for it. i told them not to read the page where it said i liked this guy at the chruch apparently they did and told him i liked him it was embaraasing and i lost trust in her and all the youth group except for one person i hope!

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by Country Christian Girl on July 24, 2012 at 11:50

    Thank you, this article helped me a lot! :). I have trust issues, but I dont thank I will now, after readin this, n well, of course, with the power of the Holy Spirit 🙂

  4. onfire4god

    Posted by onfire4god on February 7, 2012 at 11:43

    I deal with trust issues, because one of my friends unintentionally did some things that really “dented my trust button.” I care for her and I want to forgive her, but now I feel as if I can’t trust her. Can you help?

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by mellie1993 on December 23, 2011 at 16:13

    i have trust issues when it comes to guys. when i was a freshman in high school (im a freshman in college now;) our relationship started in drama from the get-go. He was at the end of a relationship and now i see that he was searching for a way out, so the girl dumped him and he immediately went to me. to make a long story short, we went out for a MONTH. during that time, he said he loved me and i was the best girlfriend he ever had, and he even said he wanted to MARRY me. but after a month was up, he dumped me and went out with my BEST FRIEND. that pretty much destroyed my trust with guys when it comes to relationships. when i got saved, i forgave him,and i still continually have to remember to stop being upset about it. but even so, i havent been in a relationship in over 5 years. i would like to be in a relationship but still have to fix this trust issue. i know God will bring the right man at the right time, but i know that i still have to learn to trust the ones that i care about now. any help?

  6. Posted by on November 23, 2011 at 20:26

    Thank ya so TREMENDOUSLY for writin about this Aysha! Ive most recently been dealin with trust issues lately. Scared of fallin in love cause ive been hurt in the past, but I dont thank im scared anymore! 🙂 thank ya once again for postin this. I know God sent me this article 🙂 he really works miracles dont He? :))

    • Christina

      Posted by Christina on April 2, 2012 at 07:20

      I don’t know exactly if I’m scared of falling in love it’s just that when i was like in 5th grade this guy told me he liked me but he was lying, it sounds really stupid but even though I didn’t like him I still have trust issues because of that one guy cuz he made fun of me a lot.

  7. Posted by on November 11, 2011 at 14:28

    Thank you for your articles- they are very inspiring and helpful!

    I have a toxic friend (more like acquaintence) who I care about but she is in an emotionally abusive relationship with a boyfriend. We have spent hours talking about the relationship’s unhealthiness, I talked to her about how God does not want her to be treated like this…etc. My friend still continues to date shallow, uncaring boys who disrespect her. This specific toxic boyfriend moved away to join the army and the break up/make up chain was broken- FINALLY> He visited and now they are dating again… My friend has little self respect and likes the drama and attention from people for her edgy boyfriends. I try not to participate in this “attention” giving by telling my friend I care about her but do not want to talk about boyfriend relationships with her because I have already told her my opinions and advice and she has neglected them. SO I have no sympathy for her but I also have a bitterness/an anger towards her for dating this guy- is it wrong to try to make her feel guilty about getting back together with this boy? I think it is healthy guilt…?

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by Just13 on November 10, 2011 at 18:00

    Since I was a target by a group of girls in school since kintergarden. I kept my mouth shut and dealed with it for 9 years now. Because of this I can’t really trust anyone because I’m afraid of getting hurt. Its gotten to the point where I can’t even trust my parents and church members completly. Like 4 weeks ago, I was in a corner at church thinking about telling someone about school. A church member who is 4 years older (I’m 13) named Dave asked me if everything was all right since I was in a corner and far from anyone. I wanted to tell him the truth but I didn’t because he’s friends with my mom too and I was scared he tell her so I lied. I don’t think he bought it though because in youth pursiut from his expression when he sees me…he can tell I’m hiding something but never said anything. What do I do? Please pray for me

    • kath660

      Posted by kath660 on December 3, 2011 at 11:22

      i think the best thing is to tell him the truth. but if you don’t feel comfortable with your parents knowing, then tell him not to tell your parents. i’m sure he’ll understand.

      i’ll be praying for you, god bless 🙂

  9. Posted by on November 8, 2011 at 11:36

    I have major Trust Issues, I always feel weird that I can’t talk to people because of my ”Trust Issues.” I keep praying for it to get better, but it never does.

  10. Paris

    Posted by Paris on November 7, 2011 at 18:31

    I have been having issues trusting God lately. I’ve been praying for a boyfriend for forever,and I still don’t have one. Now, I realize that there is some emotional pain that I have to work out before I can start a relationship.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Paperclip on November 8, 2011 at 08:41

      It may be that God doesn’t intend for you to be in a relationship right now, and I’m glad that you’ve come to that realization. It helps when you pray to ask for God’s will, even if it isn’t necessarily what you had planned 🙂

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by Firecat328 on November 7, 2011 at 16:28

    i have a friend who constantly lies about dumb little things. She basically tells a bunch of tall tales and she keeps telling us that she is telling the truth when she is OBVIOUSLY lying. Me and my other friends are getting sick of it. What should we do? I tried to talk to her but she keeps going on and on about how she is being honest. I try to grin and bear it but thats not working too well either. Can you help?

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by SonnysGirl on November 11, 2011 at 04:36

      I had a friend once like that. I talked to her about it. And, after a while I realized she just wants attention, or that she didn’t feel very loved. She had been betrayed in the past, so she was lying to get peoples attention. Try to talk to her. Tell her that if she thinks she needs to lie to you to get your attention and love, tell her she’s wrong. It should help her a lot. It helped my friend! Now she doesn’t lie anymore. She knows that she doesn’t have to lie about anything to me because I love her for who she is.