Q&A: How Do I Overcome Trust Issues?
Written by Aysha Ives | November 7, 2011
I need some advice. I have trust issues that are impacting the way that I interact with other people. What should I do?
Thank you for having the courage to write to Project Inspired about this issue. Many girls struggle with the same thing, so I think it’s an important topic to address. Let’s start by acknowledging that “trust issues” do not just happen but are actually created by the events that have occurred in a person’s life. Getting rid of “trust issues” takes time and diligence, but it certainly can be done! Here are some suggestions that can help you get started:
- Ask God for emotional healing. God is not just a healer of physical ailments, but He can and WILL heal emotional pain as well. Remember, God wants His children to be whole in EVERY area of their lives. Consider this: “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers” (3 John 1:2).
- Engage in self reflection. It’s important to know that healing occurs at the same place that the injury itself occurred. In other words, in order to start healing your “trust issues” you must first know when, where, and by whom your trust was breeched. This can be very complicated, and in some instances it’d probably be best to go through this process with a counselor or therapist. It might be a good idea to contact your school counselor or pastor for assistance with this.
- Choose to forgive. After doing your self reflection, decide to forgive the people who’ve hurt you and have likely contributed to your issues with trust. Remember, forgiving is for you, NOT for the other person. When you’re able to forgive someone who’s wronged you, you’re finally able to release all of the negative energy that has been pent up inside of you. A forgiveness prayer is a powerful tool to begin the healing process.
- Build HEALTHY relationships! Work on building healthy relationships with other people. Try to avoid frenemies and other toxic relationships. Remember that you’re so very special and you deserve healthy and happy relationships with people you can trust!
Allowing yourself to trust someone requires you to open up your inner world to that person. This can be really hard, especially if you’ve been burned in the past. However, you deserve GREAT relationships. Choose to allow The Holy Spirit to guide you and your relationships will soon begin to bear fruit.