Q&A: How Do I Stay Pure for My Future Husband?
Written by Aysha Ives | March 5, 2012
Could you please give me some advice on how to stay pure for my future husband?
Congratulations on your decision to wait until you’re married to have sex! God is beaming with pride right now and so is the staff at Project Inspired! I know it can be hard to stay on track in a culture that glamorizes sex, sexy clothes and hyper-sexual behavior, so here are a few suggestions that might help you stay the course:
- Remain committed to your decision to NOT have sex until you’re married. People may try to convince you that it’s okay to have sex before you’re married, but remind yourself it’s GOD’s will that you wait. God is clear about that throughout the Bible! Also, keep in mind that it’s NEVER too late to make this commitment. Even if you’ve had sex before, you can start TODAY to choose to wait!
- Read the Bible daily. Take time to read God’s Word daily. When you’re filled with the Word, it’s easier to fight temptation and unholy thoughts. Temptation will come at times, but when you’re well versed in the Word, it’s much easier to stay the course. Consider this passage:
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes…Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:11, 14-17).
- Consider courting instead of dating. The difference between courting and dating is motive. The purpose of courting is to find your spouse, whereas dating is more casual. The problem is, dating may result in more premarital temptation. If you’re serious about waiting until you’re married to have sex, it may be a good idea to court instead of date. If you decide to court, consider waiting until you’re older and ready for marriage before entering into this kind of relationship.
- Avoid temptation. If you do decide to date or even when you’re courting, do your best to avoid compromising situations. It might be a good idea to go out in groups to avoid a lot of alone time together. It’s probably also a good idea to avoid a lot of kissing and physical interaction that could lead to things going too far. Also, be sure to date boys who share your values–this will lessen the unnecessary pressure to have sex.
- Spend time with peers who share your values. It’s easy to get distracted by people who don’t share your beliefs; therefore, it’s best to avoid these people as much as possible. Of course, it’s our responsibility as believers to love everyone, but it’s important to weed out unhealthy relationships from our inner circle. If someone is trying to undermine your values, you may want to consider putting some distance between you.
It’s great you’ve made such a Godly decision and I’m proud of you for being obedient to GOD and loving yourself enough to wait! Remember, if a boy doesn’t respect you enough to wait, then he may not be who God has intended for you.
Written By Aysha Ives