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Beauty & Fashion

Style Guide for Christian Girls: Modesty

nothing to wear

The Bible teaches that women should dress modestly and in moderation.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array (1 Timothy 2:9).

However, I’ve always felt that specific rules or principles of modern-day modest dressing are hard to find.

In a 2004 article titled “The Forgotten Virtue: Modesty In Dress,” author Monsignor Charles M. Mangan lays out a basic guide founded upon principles of modesty set by Pope Pius XII in 1957. These values are still valid today and I’ve found them to be very helpful in determining what’s modest and what’s not.

With Mangan’s help, I will offer specific guidelines on dressing modestly.

To dress modestly is to avoid deliberately causing sexual excitement in oneself or one’s neighbor (Mangan).

The objective of modesty is to refrain from wearing clothing that causes lustful thoughts, whether intentionally or unintentionally. When dressing modestly, Christian girls should avoid clothes that reveal, enhance or highlight certain body parts.

  • Bust: Avoid tight or see-through shirts or tops without appropriate undergarments, and tops with low plunging necklines that reveal a cleavage. If you have a large bust, then you should also stay away from spaghetti straps and strapless designs.
  • Thighs: When it comes to skirts, select those that are no shorter than above the knee. Make sure you account for how high the skirt rises when you sit. When it comes to shorts, opt for those that don’t expose too much of the thigh.
  • Back: Refrain from wearing backless shirts or dresses that plunge in the back. These styles are designed to look sexy.
  • Stomach: Shirts and tops should always cover the stomach.
  • Butt: Avoid tight skirts, shorts, dresses and pants that reveal the shape and curve of the buttocks. I also would avoid pants with words printed on the butt, since they are designed to cause the eyes to gaze at that area of your body.

I added “butt” to Mangan’s list because it often causes lustful thoughts in men when highlighted by tight shorts, pants, dresses and skirts.

There usually are no exceptions to the above rules in the case of everyday clothing. When it comes to athletic wear, make sure that your ensemble doesn’t look sexy.

Clothing fulfills three necessary requirements: hygiene, decency and adornment. These are ‘so deeply rooted in nature that they cannot be disregarded or contradicted without provoking hostility and prejudice’ (Mangan quoting Pope Pius XII).

In addition to these guidelines, I believe that, in some instances, modesty is subjective. One item of clothing may be immodest on one person, but modest on another. For example, spaghetti straps can look both modest and immodest, depending on the size of the person’s bust. However, modesty in this case can usually be attained by adding a cardigan or light jacket.

Christian girls, think also of this: The more elegant you will be, and the more pleasing, if you dress with simplicity and discreet modesty (Pope Pius XII).

When shopping for clothes, always ask why you’re buying something. It’s okay to wear something that’s pretty and presentable. But if you’re purchasing an item because it’ll bring attention to you or attract the opposite sex, then it may be inappropriate.

Style must never be a proximate occasion of sin (Pope Pius XII).

Ultimately, I feel that we all need to be responsible for our own modesty. Always try new clothes on–whether at the store or at home–before the event you plan on wearing them to. This way, if they do look immodest, you can purchase additional items to make them modest or exchange them for more appropriate garments.

Do you have any additional style tips for dressing modestly?

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COMMENTS 77

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by AJ1217 on March 26, 2014 at 15:58

    Don’t forget, you’re not responsible for other people’s attraction or how they may react to you. If you feel comfortable and confident, wear what ever you want. Anyone else’s perceptions are their problems, not yours.

    • laurielle

      Posted by laurielle on April 4, 2014 at 15:32

      Well I could feel comfortable and confident in my underwear but ya knowwwwwwww…I think it’s important that we take responsibility not for how others react, but how we dress, definitely. If the intention to make people react in a certain way is there, then yeah; I’d say its our problem. But I get what you were tryin to say AJ.

  2. Christian.girl4

    Posted by Christian.girl4 on February 21, 2014 at 14:47

    Modesty is important, and this article has helped me see that! Thanks so much!

  3. chicken_chick

    Posted by chicken_chick on February 8, 2014 at 16:07

    In the summer heat, I like to wear shorts above the knee and tank tops, because I don’t handle the heat well, and I like a bit of a tan, because white doesn’t look good on me (I’m a dark blonde and, apparently, blonde hair and white skin don’t naturally mix) Still think I should have been a redhead, but anyways. My boyfriend is convinced my shorts are too short and my tank tops have too much open shoulder, but my butt is safely inside my jeans, and the tanks aren’t revealing at all. Maybe I should take his advice, since he is a guy, after all. /: Idk, because I really love my shorts!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by AJ1217 on March 26, 2014 at 16:02

      don’t let your boyfriend tell you what to wear, wear whatever you want in the summer. Heat is the worst and getting weird tan lines sucks. If your boyfriend has a problem with it, then maybe you should find someone who is more accepting of who you are.

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by Ceo2000 on February 8, 2014 at 09:16

    This is something I struggle with a lot, mainly in summer. It’s not that I’m trying to be immodest, but I’m REALLY tall for my age. I’m about 5’8. I’m not insecure about my height, but my youth minister came out with a dress code over the summer that makes me wish I was shorter. I think a dress code is fine… Have you SEEN what some people where these days?… But one of the rules seemed really unfair to me- the “fingertip rule.” With the fingertip rule, dresses, skirts, and shorts have to meet or go past your fingertips. This is SO difficult for me due to my extremely long legs and extremely long arms. I wear shorts that are modest-no butt showing- but it’s still not good enough for this rule. I don’t know how to approach this… I don’t want my mom to have to buy me all new shorts, but I don’t want to cause conflict at the church I’ve gone to nice birth. What am I supposed to do?

    And even with the rule. Some girls can still get away with wearing shorty shorts. One girl has very short arms, and, even though she followed dress code, her but was practically hanging out. Is there any rule out there that is fair and just to all body types, short or tall?

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by daisy14 on January 31, 2014 at 20:26

    love this (:

  6. InnerBeauty

    Posted by InnerBeauty on January 30, 2014 at 13:11

    At my school we have pool class and I struggled to find a bathing suit that didn’t feel too revealing. I don’t know exactly how to stay modest in the co-ed class. Any advice?

  7. godgirl2000

    Posted by godgirl2000 on June 17, 2013 at 01:26

    So many clothes being sold are so immodest these days! When I try on a skirt or dress they are always to long :( . I decided that I’d start sewing my clothes which is really rewarding and they will last me longer because of the quality! I’m thinking of opening an online shop selling modest clothes! What do you girls think? :)

    • XxLoveJesusChristxX

      Posted by XxLoveJesusChristxX on July 30, 2013 at 18:46

      I’d love to check out the clothes you make! Especially skirts and dresses. I love more feminine clothing, but I want to cover up, not whatever today’s stuff does. Go for it and I totally can’t wait to see it!

    • godgirl2000

      Posted by godgirl2000 on June 17, 2013 at 01:27

      * oops I mean always to short!

  8. mjb198

    Posted by mjb198 on April 14, 2013 at 19:03

    Growing up, I was taught that the length for shorts and skirts should be at least fingertips. And from there (if needed like for instance the skirt comes up when you sit down) add leggings or something to fix the issue. Just a thought on another point of view :)

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by Skipp2012 on April 13, 2013 at 20:15

    I’ve been struggling with this a lot lately! I’ve never dressed to be sexy for guys..I pick what makes ME happy to wear! There are plenty of things I wear that DON’T follow these rules but I always get told my style is cute AND classy. I get most of my fashion tips from What Not To Wear…keeps me classy but not too conservative like I’m trying to hide! Also..not to burst anyone’s bubble…but guys can get turned on when they see you even when you’re all covered up! It’s uncomfortable but it happens and you don’t have to feel guilty for what someone else thinks when they see you!

  10. Girafficorn

    Posted by Girafficorn on February 17, 2013 at 23:54

    i drive my mom crazy. she claims i am “TOO MODEST”. Meh. I just won’t wear dresses (to scared to expose my unmentionables) no skirts (uncomfortable) shirts have to not be to tight, short, low, or exposing. this list goes on! help me!!!

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by hfmyers5 on February 11, 2013 at 17:14

    This is a great article! It explains modesty very well and gives wonderful detailed descriptions and quotes. Thank you!

  12. cieradudziak

    Posted by cieradudziak on January 11, 2013 at 13:28

    Love and totally agree with this article !!

  13. sparklesgurl

    Posted by sparklesgurl on January 2, 2013 at 15:00

    This is a great artical. I agree that modesty can be relitive. Modesty is not about the lines you draw, it’s about your motivation. My body shape is doubtless different than yours, so what is modest on me may not me modest on you. Also what is modest on you in one situation may not be in another. It would be rediculus to wear formal clothing to play backyard football! Day to day I find the need to evaluate my outfits and decide why I pick each itam (exept on lazy PJ days ;)

  14. Project Inspired

    Posted by kc2016 on December 28, 2012 at 13:49

    I really like this article but I don’t really agree with the skirts having to be to the knee. Depending on the skirt it can be above the knee and not hike up to much when you sit down. I think that as long as it is a bit past your fingertips then it is okay. I know some girls have shorter arms like me so you have to add a little length past your fingers for the right size.

  15. Project Inspired

    Posted by cherrypie01 on December 26, 2012 at 17:01

    I own skirts that are finger tip length, and nothing shorter and i wear them always with black tights. Is that ok???

  16. Dancer101

    Posted by Dancer101 on December 12, 2012 at 23:41

    Heres kinda what I try to follow-
    I have a pretty medium size bust so I don’t have to worry that much about how tight shirts are but I am pretty careful about necklines. If I feel like something is just a little to low I’ll put on a neck less that covers some. I do wear spaghetti straps in the summer if I’m at the mall with friends or going so the store or something but not to church. I try to follow the finger tip role for skirts and I’ve never worn a mini. I do wear a little bit higher shorts but I always make sure I feel ok sitting in them too. I also wear leggings under skirts and shorts but not by themselfs. I’m not into backless shirts at all. I always cover up my stomach. And I don’t ever really wear tight jeans/shorts. I haven’t ever had words on my butt.
    One of my brothers thinks that skinny jeans are trashy but I’ve asked a lot of other boys and they don’t think so. I think as long as they don’t show off every curve you have it’s ok to wear them. Thats my go to guide but I really love this list and will refer to it in the future!

  17. vickifay

    Posted by vickifay on December 12, 2012 at 14:02

    Nice article! I have a backless dress and I love it, but it still somehow looks completely modest on me. I guess it’s true different things work for different people!

  18. Project Inspired

    Posted by kafitz87 on November 15, 2012 at 19:24

    One major issue I have with plus size clothing? A lot of things turn out to be inappropriate.

    Tops – always low-cut requiring multiple undershirts
    Skirts/Dresses – short (I can’t quite get that – read the pants issue to understand) or tight fitting (even when getting a size larger)
    Pants – always made for those slightly taller, forcing a plus size girl to buy a size smaller and deal with tightness or get a size larger and learn how to sew them together yourself after ripping out all the seams.

    Plus size girl shirt tip – invest in lots of scarves and jackets to cover up the low-cut issue.

    Skirts/Dresses – wear leggings at all times

  19. Project Inspired

    Posted by Kaleidoscope Heart on September 4, 2012 at 16:36

    When trying on shorts or a skirt, i make sure to do the fingertip test. All you have to do is stand up and let your hands fall naturally at your sides. You shorts or skirt should end at least where your fingertips fall, if not longer than that. And when it comes to dresses, it better be knee length

  20. Project Inspired

    Posted by RC4Jesus81 on September 1, 2012 at 23:55

    I am so glad SOMEONE in this world understands what modesty truly is. I have, all my life, grown up in a strictly modest home. I am almost never (with the exception of a few instances that I regret to the point of wanting to slam my head on the wall) caught in public wearing anything too tight, more than half an inch above the knee, or too low (for shirts). I, for one, absolutely hate ANYTHING that is tight. I cannot bear to wear skinny jeans, remotely tight shirts, tight capris, or anything that’s really tight on the butt. It is just way too uncomfortable for me. I actually had to get rid of some my clothes that, to the rest of the world, fit perfectly. But to me…they were a disaster because of how tight they were.

    Anyways, I have also grown up going to a Christian school. And let me tell you…I feel so alone. I feel like I’m the only person on the planet who understands what modesty really is (obviously, that is an exaggeration). Everyone I try to explain modesty to just rejects me and counteracts what I say by reminding me of the fact that I did it myself (for example, I did cheer and tried to tell my friends that the uniforms were immodest…so, they decided to interrogate me on why I joined cheer in the first place if that was what I believed). If I hadn’t done it myself, they would just say that I had no valid proof. It’s really, really sad. I almost convinced my two bestest friends in the world what modesty was and they have slowly drifted away (except one of them is getting closer and closer to coming back, but is still quite far away from breaking her old immodest habits).

    For another example, one day I was eating in the cafeteria with my friends. Somehow, we started talking about cheer (I was, thankfully, no longer participating in it). Then I told them that our NBA Basketball team’s cheerleaders were really just there for the men’s enjoyment, with their extremely short and tight bottoms and also tight tops. The tops were basically a sports bra with a fancy design. They showed a lot of cleavage. Then what did they say? “No, they’re there to cheer on the team! No man would go the game JUST to see the cheerleaders! And they aren’t there for the ‘men’s enjoyment’ either!” First of all, they manipulated my words. I never said that men went to the basketball games solely for the purpose of seeing the cheerleaders. And second of all, I was shocked that their minds were so clouded by our world’s immodest ways that they couldn’t see the cheerleaders true purpose at the basketball games. By the end of the conversation, my friends suggested we ask one of the boys from our grade, who was sitting at a nearby table. So they did. And even HE said that I was right. And he was only 11 years old at the time!

    That just goes to show you how many girls in this world don’t know what modesty is. And it’s not just their fault. They’ve been born into a culture that does everything they can to NOT be modest. And their parents don’t do anything to stop them from believing that the immodesty was wrong.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by RebeccaCares on February 10, 2013 at 14:02

      Its okay to hang around with more adults. I wish I had when I was in high school – I wouldn’t have felt like such an oddball. I hope you can soon find some people you have things in common with – meanwhile, stick to your beliefs and maintain your relationship with God (just don’t try and push your beliefs on anyone else – this is a recipe for pain and disappointment).

  21. Project Inspired

    Posted by prolife4life on July 19, 2012 at 23:58

    i live in ak where we don’t get a lot of warm days in the summer but when we do they are 80-85 and if i’m not wearing short shorts ( i try to keep them shorter than Bermudas[because Bermudas are ugggllly on me] but longer than booty shorts) i don’t wear strapless or spaghetti straps but about an inch to half and inch wide, i don’t find this immodest at all because im so not used to the heat and if im wearing Capri im sweating like a pig, i sometimes wear knee length tights with the shorts but not all the time. do you think this is still inappropriate

  22. Project Inspired

    Posted by KelseySunshine on July 8, 2012 at 07:35

    This is a good article!! But there are WAY too many don’ts, and it can be discouraging. Maybe you should do another article like this one, but rather tells you waht TO do versus what NOT to do. I think we all can guess when something’s inappropriate, but few of us know what to do instead, so we just stick with what we got until something better comes along. Case in point: My behind is HUGE! There is not a skirt, or pair of pants in the world that can hide it. This article makes it sound like if we just stop trying to show off, we can. The rules are different for curvy girls, and that needs to be addressed on this website.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by RebeccaCares on February 10, 2013 at 13:57

      There is no reason to be trying to hide any body part. God gave each of us a beautiful figure and God’s kingdom is diverse.

  23. Patty

    Posted by Patty on June 29, 2012 at 10:05

    Thanks for the advice :)

  24. Project Inspired

    Posted by Ryleigh on June 28, 2012 at 11:24

    i do wear skinny jeans… but not too tight and i wear a skirt with them and a flowing top.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Ryleigh on June 28, 2012 at 11:32

      and the skirts are always black or another color and never denim. my skinny jeans are BRIGHT AND COLORFUL! I LOOK LIKE A MOVING RAINBOW when i wear my favorite outfit.. yellow skinny jeans, red shorts, purple spaghetti strap tank top, green jacket, and my osiris colorful shoes… its cuter than it sounds.

  25. Project Inspired

    Posted by prolife4life on May 18, 2012 at 23:00

    i wear yoga pants in my gym class because their the only pants that i can work out in and actually make my butt look nice not only that but their light and are super comfy and i just love them their totally modest and i don’t see anything wrong with it. i also don’t mean to be rude to you guys or anything its just that my moms super modest and she doestn see anything wrong with yoga pants or skinny jeans or tops that show a lil or my tummy the stomach is not something to be ashamed of i don’t understand why it would be i’m totally willing for someone to change my mind that just my opinion and i’m modest. ps dresses and skirts that go below or at the knee look bad on short not very big busted girls ie myself i will continue to wear them but i always wear spanks(cheer shorts0 under them!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by RebeccaCares on February 10, 2013 at 13:55

      @prolife4life…It sounds like you are making lots of excuses not to be modest. Its not that the shape of a person’s butt and thighs or tummy are things to be ashamed of, its that its not modest to reveal them. To say that you can only exercise in skin tight pants doesn’t make any sense to me – people have been exercising for decades without yoga pants and doing just fine (not to mention centuries of women doing farm work and other physical work wearing long dresses). You seem way more concerned about looking ‘good’ and keeping up with the latest fashion than looking modest.

  26. Project Inspired

    Posted by BeStillAndBreath98 on May 11, 2012 at 13:08

    This will be long but a bit helpful.

    With strapless dresses or strapless anything wear a blazer or a denim jacket to cover up.A nice statment necklace will make it look awesome and not sexy.I wear strapless dresses and I ALWAYS wear it with a balzer or cropped denim jacket with some brown boots it looks casual and its appropriate.

    Skirts. I personally love skirts they come in SO many different styles now! Okay I agree with the nothing 4-5 inches above the knee or something like that.Bubble skirts look nice on ANYONE.Pair it with lace flower shadow print leggings,combat boots,and a leather jacket.

    I dont get the skirt over jeans thing (double denim XP) it doesnt look good sorry but it doesnt. That was in in the early 2000′s but now it will look icky.If you want to do that wear jeggings.

    Shorts.Booty shorts are a no no. Daisy dukes and shorty shorts are awful.If they’re above the 2nd line on your first finger dont wear it.High waisted shorts dont come in short shorts. So those are okay but it depends on the cut and designer.

    Now I have a much different taste in clothing then the girls on here so alot may not agree.

  27. Project Inspired

    Posted by actress 2_2 on April 27, 2012 at 17:13

    what about shorts, like how long should they be?

  28. Project Inspired

    Posted by elliejean on April 17, 2012 at 11:51

    I am not the only one out there that actually follows these rules am i?

  29. pinkpenguin318

    Posted by pinkpenguin318 on March 25, 2012 at 19:55

    While I do think that every girl should dress according to her body style (pear, ruler, etc.), I do think that modesty should also be a No. 1 rule when selecting clothes. For example, I always wear clothes that are cute and trendy, but I try to be modest all the time because I know immodesty (can cause) leads to sexual-related outcomes. To me, my typical outfit is jeans and a cute top. If the top is see-through, I wear a tank-top underneath. I also layer–for example, I have a cute tank top that even though is modest, is see-through, and I just today purchased a cute denim jacket to layer over it. Modesty is very important to me. Because it’s not only a part of who I am, but it’s a very important apart of being a Christian girl.

  30. Project Inspired

    Posted by Ginger_who_loves_Jesus on March 25, 2012 at 17:42

    Leggings are not good because they still show the curve of your thighs.
    To guys, it’s like you’re not wearing ANYTHING at all because it’s so tight.
    Avoid yoga pants because those are tight around the butt and around the thighs.
    When you do the v-neck shirt under a tank top thing, make sure that the tank top is solid because the lace can actually make guys think you’re wearing lingerie.
    It’s pretty bad. But I wear a lot of graphic t-shirts that are loose.
    I use this: If you put on a shirt that’s a medium and it fits you perfect, get a large. That way it will still fit but it will be a little looser and will leave room to shrink in the dryer. Because if you get a medium, it’s going to be very tight around everywhere when it shrinks!

  31. Project Inspired

    Posted by BLRock on March 23, 2012 at 10:54

    I have to admit it but Im a fashion girl I love looking pretty ! But that does not maen I have to dress imodestly . I have tons of pretty clothes and Im proud to say none of them are inapropiate !!

  32. Project Inspired

    Posted by ella.mckenzie.17 on March 21, 2012 at 22:21

    I completely agree. Any guy that’s worth it won’t be attracted to you because of your “hot” clothes. I love looking pretty, but not immodest!

  33. Project Inspired

    Posted by Elena on March 21, 2012 at 14:16

    Is it wrong to want guys to think you’re pretty? I mean, I know we shouldn’t be immodest, but what is the difference between trying to be sexy and wanting to be pretty?

    • tmgaouette

      Posted by tmgaouette on March 29, 2012 at 08:32

      Pretty and sexy are two different things. A sexy look leads to lustful thoughts. A boy can think you look pretty without having immoral thoughts about you.

      • pinkpenguin318

        Posted by pinkpenguin318 on March 29, 2012 at 15:51

        Pretty (this is my personal opinion) means “you are a very pretty girl with a very friendly personality and you are a great role model,” or something similar to this.

        Sexy means, “you are so sexy and you have the prettiest figure and I can’t stop staring at your butt because you wear tight clothes and you don’t have a sense of self-respect, love, your boyfriend.” Or “that v-neck little back dress is so sexy!”

        Again, this is just an opinion. Simply put, PRETTY is a much better compliment than HOT. (From the Blimey Cow YouTube episode “top 10 ways to get a guy to like you.”)

  34. Project Inspired

    Posted by HNiji on March 20, 2012 at 19:29

    Would it be alright to wear skirts like the ones from Hollister if I wore leggings?

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by lillySUN on June 26, 2012 at 11:57

      You can wear those short tights that would go under the skirt and so its comfortable

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Ginger_who_loves_Jesus on March 25, 2012 at 17:44

      Leggings still show the curve of your thighs. To guys, it’s like you’re not wearing anything at all. So maybe a good idea would to put some jeans underneath the skirt! :) It’s modest AND cute. (It doesnt look as bad as you think it would…trust me)

    • Posted by Nicole on March 20, 2012 at 22:43

      yes I think so!

  35. Project Inspired

    Posted by kissesfromkaitlyn on March 18, 2012 at 08:57

    I went to Forever 21 this week looking for modest spring clothing. It’s usually pretty hot in Los Angeles so I was excited to find a couple maxi dresses along with a cute maxi skirt that I can pair with cute flowey tops. I wore one of the long skirts I got and tucked a nice tank top into it..I got so many compliments! It was raining so I put a pair of leggings on under, no one could see them because the skirt covered them, and I was warm! Dress modest and you will feel great about yourself (:

  36. kayla.hb13

    Posted by kayla.hb13 on March 18, 2012 at 07:39

    I know for me, I wear a skirt or dress every day because of a verse in Deuteronomy 25 (women shall wear women’s clothing, and men shall wear men’s, and any crossing of that is an abomination to God (I do wear shorts in the summer, or pants around my family sometimes, but close to NEVER in public!)) Make sure you are comfortable in the clothing, and ask yourself “Would I wear this to church?” If no, it’s a good indication you shouldn’t wear it.
    And I was wondering if jewlery is a bad thing? I like to wear it to accent an outfit, but is that sinful?

    • Dancer101

      Posted by Dancer101 on December 12, 2012 at 23:53

      I wear pants and I don’t think theres anything wrong with it but if you feel called not to thats perfectly fine as well. I don’t see why anything would be wrong with jewelry. I don’t see it as sinful at all

    • amberfishnets00

      Posted by amberfishnets00 on March 23, 2012 at 21:46

      My friend showed me an article that pointed out that verse…but I don’t think it means you can’t wear pants…doesn’t it pertain more to those people that actually wear men’s clothing and dress like men everyday and those men who dress like women? I don’t know the right term for it…transvestite? or something like that?

  37. amberfishnets00

    Posted by amberfishnets00 on March 17, 2012 at 17:11

    If you have a dress that’s a bit above the knee and you wear those really dark thick stockings is that okay or no?

    @AnnaDon: May I have the link to that quiz because I went on the website but didn’t know where to find it. LOL.

    • Arathay

      Posted by Arathay on March 11, 2013 at 14:24

      Here’s the link. I actually googled it because I couldn’t find it on their website either. :) I’ve gone through most of it. It was super helpful!

    • tmgaouette

      Posted by tmgaouette on April 20, 2012 at 13:25

      A little bit above the knee is fine, with or without thick stockings. Just test the skirt sitting. If it rides up too far, it may be too short.

  38. rtfgirl

    Posted by rtfgirl on March 16, 2012 at 17:02

    immodesty is sin and there’s really so much to say about that! maybe… just maybe if more girls dressed modestly there wouldn’t be 1.3 rapes every minute!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Sparklepower on April 10, 2012 at 17:32

      I actually choked when I read this, and then had to remind myself that this whole website is directed to very young and probably very naive and sheltered young ladies.

      So many rapes (1 out of 4 women in her lifetime) occur because of violence, NOT because women dress provocatively or sexually. No matter what you have been told, women are not raped because they wore a short miniskirt or a plunging halter top and a man was so overcome by his baser instincts that he ripped his pants off and raped the woman. Mens’ sexual urges ARE controllable (no matter what your boyfriend may tell you that he “can’t” stop himself or that he “needs” it). If they rape someone it is because they wanted to rape someone or take a sexual experience from her against her will, not because their hormones clouded their judgement to the point that they somehow managed to “accidentally” have sex with her when she didn’t want them to.

      That being said, the real cause of rape? Violence. You see, rape is not actually considered as a sex crime as much as it is a crime of violence. It does not tend to occur in “sexy’ environments. It actually tends to occur in environments that glorify violence and the power of one person winning or dominating others. This is why war time situations and sports environments have a reputation for so much rape. In an environment where people are behaving agressively and people tend to be rewarded socially for “winning” or getting one “over” another person, this agressive and dominant trait bleeds over into personally relationships including sexuality. So that whole reputation that jocks have on college campus for being date rapists? It may not be true, I am sure that there are plenty of male college athletes who do NOT do this kind of thing, however I believe it DOES come from the era when male college athletes were considered god-like and could do no wrong. They were so entitled that they felt that they could do whatever they want, include force others to have sex. And because they had been raised in a hyper masculine culture that rewarded them for winning by force both on the playing field and in the self-aggrandizing environment of the locker room, they continued to behave this way in their relationships with women.

      The issue is that men(and women!) whether they rape another person or not, if they have been raised to think that life is about “winning” over other people, will have an extremely hard time forming healthy relationships with other people. When they have an argument with a friend or a girlfriend or spouse, they will view it as an occasion to prove dominance and crush their opponent, rather than an occassion to compromise or for both people to win together by learning more about each other or about a situation.

      THIS situation is far more serious to the human heart and soul than any mini skirt, and is at the heart of both rape, domestic violence and an inability to connect for our boys and men. Please do not say this again. The odds are 1 in 4 that you will say it in front of a former rape victim, who will be secretly and deeply hurt at the implication that this terrible crime is her fault. I am absolutely sure you meant no harm. Ladies, be careful out their in your relationships and observe the relationship habits carefully of the men you date or spend time with: can they handle losing with grace? Are they gentle spirited? Are they about losers and winners, or is it about getting to know others when they are in relationships of all kinds?

      • XcanaceX

        Posted by XcanaceX on March 19, 2013 at 08:39

        @SparklePower I couldn’t agree more.

      • Posted by Nicole on April 20, 2012 at 12:24

        thank you so much for taking the time to share your views on this hard subject, I really appreciate it and totally agree with you!

  39. Project Inspired

    Posted by Hannah Phillips on March 16, 2012 at 15:29

    Awesome and a girl that I look up to told me to place your thumb on your collar bone and the shirt can’t go below the pinky it has helped me a lot

  40. Project Inspired

    Posted by NCKOOP on March 16, 2012 at 05:32

    Now we are seeing a change, people are dressing more modestly all around, and I think it should be a change for everyone

  41. sisterwhocares

    Posted by sisterwhocares on March 15, 2012 at 20:15

    I am glad that you brought up that point about modesty being subjective. I have always thought that the modesty standards on this website were a little lenient (strapless dresses fell under Nicole’s category of “modest”-they are so not! Bringing that up, though, helped me to realize that everyone has different versions of modest (I have a judgemental problem). Girls, in case you are wondering, it is not bad to wear spaghetti straps if they completely cover the bust, show no back, and don’t have that lace that shows so much skin (I see that at a lot of schools these days). Also, tight-fitting is not recommended, and a jacket with it is always cute and modest. There is another reason why I encourage you to dress modestly: what girl wants a guy oggling at them like they are a stripper or something anyway?

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Amybeth34 on June 15, 2013 at 15:16

      My daughter has bought really sweet strapless sun dresses ( dirt cheap as in $5, I may add)that look great on her— then we add a small strap ( it’s “idiot proof” to do- I myself have done it–LOL)voila! It is now Daddy approved!!!! If something has a little too much reveal in the bust- add a scrap of lace or wear a cami underneath. As a 38DD I have mastered this stuff! One must be VERY careful.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by elizno on March 29, 2012 at 14:58

      What’s wrong with strapless dresses?

    • tmgaouette

      Posted by tmgaouette on March 29, 2012 at 08:46

      To clarify, I wrote that “in some instances, modesty is subjective. One item of clothing may be immodest on one person, but modest on another.” That doesn’t mean that modesty is subjective because people have different versions of it. It’s subjective because the same item of clothing can be modest on one person and immodest on another. I also agree with Nicole. Strapless dresses can look modest on some girls.

  42. Project Inspired

    Posted by PhotoMama on March 15, 2012 at 18:37

    It makes me sad to see the way girls are dressing these days, especially under the age of 18. Not only is it the girls that need to be choosing more modest clothing, but the Parents need to stop buying the clothes for their daughters as well. Its bad enough that all the popular music and movies are all pushing girls to become sexually active younger and younger, but purchasing these clothes for their children is almost an encouragement from parents to objectify themselves.

  43. Liliandil486

    Posted by Liliandil486 on March 15, 2012 at 18:32

    Are spaghetti strap dresses ok to wear as long as it neck line is modest?

    • tmgaouette

      Posted by tmgaouette on March 18, 2012 at 12:35

      As I mentioned in the post, if you have a large bust, spaghetti straps may be too immodest. A higher neck line would certainly be better, but again, try it on and take a look. You have to decide honestly if the look is sexy. Pair it with a cardigan if necessary.

      • Project Inspired

        Posted by Amybeth34 on June 15, 2013 at 15:21

        A shrug really works well too! Plus very are very inexpensive and are extremely lightweight.

  44. Project Inspired

    Posted by AnnaDon on March 15, 2012 at 15:33

    At TheRebelution.com, there’s a modesty survey that I’ve found helpful. Hundreds of guys gave their opinion on what’s modest and what’s not. It’s helped me a lot.

  45. Project Inspired

    Posted by AngelAlly on March 14, 2012 at 11:23

    Oh nice article, this is a subject that I have been thinking about lately. I picked up this book from LifeWay a couple weeks ago called Good Girls Don’t have to dress Bad: A Style Guide for every Woman. It’s pretty good I would recommend it for older teens who want to develop their own style and dress modestly.

  46. Paris

    Posted by Paris on March 14, 2012 at 11:03

    A tip would be,never wear too much makeup! There is nothing wrong with a little face powder,eye shadow,eyeliner and lipstick,but too much will cause you to become sexually attractive,which is only meant for your husband!

    • sisterwhocares

      Posted by sisterwhocares on March 16, 2012 at 21:51

      Either sexually attractive, or hideous! There is definetely a thing as too much make up!

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by 1_artist on March 16, 2012 at 19:46

      And too much can also make you look like a clown! No joke, I’m being serious, I agree with you.

  47. Glamcat101

    Posted by Glamcat101 on March 14, 2012 at 08:08

    Great article! I think that dressing modestly is not only dressing for ones appearance but for self respect and image. When I dress modestly or more appropriately, I feel great! I dont have to worry about the way I look and who I am trying to “please” besides the Lord when I am wearing my clothes.
    My tip is: When picking out clothes to wear, think about the way people would think of you. Think about the message youre sending them :). Would you wear theese clothes for your own leisure at home or go out in these in public for others to see you. Would the Lord and other Christian adults be proud of what youre wearing? thanks for reading! :)

    • tmgaouette

      Posted by tmgaouette on March 14, 2012 at 12:07

      Thank you for your tip. I completely agree. What you wear in public says a lot, so make sure you are happy with the message you are sending.