Q&A – How Do I Ask My Parents for a Purity Ring?
posted on September 18, 2012 at 4:00 am
Question:
How do I ask my parents for a purity ring?
Answer:
Before asking for a purity ring, I highly suggest taking a bit of time to really think about why you want one. Purity rings are not just another piece of jewelry to be worn simply because we like them. A purity ring serves more than one purpose.
- It’s a promise between you and God that you’ll remain sexually pure until after you’re married.
- It’s a testimony to everyone you meet that you’ve made this promise.
Think very carefully about it before approaching your parents to ask for a purity ring. Remember that receiving and committing to wearing a purity ring is a promise to God.
When you make this promise to God, the devil will throw every temptation he can at you. There’ll be several cute boys many who may say that they’re interested in you but who may be more interested in challenging your boundaries.
You’ll also need to be prepared to defend what you believe and why you believe it. I suggest before asking your parents you read up on what the Bible says about sexual purity. If your parents are not believers, I also suggest doing some research on sexually transmitted diseases to defend your decision to remain pure. There’s one more question you may need to answer, especially if your parents are not believers:
Why do you need a ring to stay pure? Can’t you decide to stay pure without a ring?
This question is why it’s so important to prepare before asking your parents for a purity ring. You need to know exactly why it is that you want a purity ring. Will you use it as a tool for evangelism, to share God with others? Do you respond well to visual reminders? In that case, the ring will serve as a constant reminder to you in tempting situations. You need to know how to answer this question honestly.
Once you’ve prepared through prayerful consideration, approach your parents and let them know you would like to talk to them about something important to you. Ask when a good time would be for them to have that conversation with you. Don’t rush them and be respectful of their time.
When you finally sit down to have this conversation, remembering a few key points will help make it pleasant, regardless of your parents’ answer.
- The decision to remain pure is a mature decision. So in your conversation with your parents, don’t resort to immature behaviors like yelling or whining if things don’t seem to be going your way.
- Your purity ring is a covenant symbol between you and God; your behavior when asking for it and when wearing it will speak to others about both your relationship with God and who God is. With this in mind, have grace when asking for your ring. God gives us grace all the time and it’s important we extend grace to others, including our parents.
- Remember that any discussion of purity is going to involve some talk of sex. For many parents, fathers especially, talking about sex with their daughters is very difficult and can make them uncomfortable. Choose your words carefully and do your best to keep the conversation respectful.
Regardless of whether or not your parents are believers, it’s likely they’ll be proud of your decision to remain sexually pure, but it’s your job to help them understand why this is important to you and why you need or want a symbol to support your decision.
PI girls, do you have any other advice about asking for a purity ring?
Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe (1 Timothy 4:12).
Image: Shutterstock
ALL COMMENTS 24
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These are really good ideas! Luckily, I didn’t have to ask my parents for one because they gave me on for my birthday! I was so happy!
I asked my parents for one and they’re getting me one soon! I did my research and since I always have said that I’m saving myself for marriage,why not get one! I was kinda iffy about it but now i’m open to it! I’m also going to ask my parents if we can take courting classes. I am so excited to get one! My promise with God,can’t wait!!! ^(^o^)^
Basically I would just say “This is something I truly believe in because *state reason* and I hope you can support me in my choice.” Personally, I didn’t tell my mom it I have one but she figured out what it is. Most parents will be proud as long as you are getting it for the right reasons
Wonderful Tips,Jennifer!
My parents got me one when I was confirmed. (I don’t remember who’s idea it was anymore. We all agreed on the purity part long before that, but my mom was probably the one to come up with the ring part.) I really like it.
I asked my Dad for one last Christmas since marriage is something we talk about a lot. He got it for me! But, my ring, along with being purity ring, is also a promise to me, my family, and most importantly- God that I will not ever date. A few years ago, God chose to reveal many things to me about courtship, dating, and marriage. So, I will never ever in my life be in a dating relationship. Just courtship, when I’m ready to get married. And oh, how I cannot wait for that day!
whats the difference?
I just ordered one and my mom gave me the little “talk.” I’ve read many articles about it in Christian mags and this website. I’ve also discussed it with my older BFF. I think it’s your decision.
So… I recently brought up the topic of a purity ring with my mom. And she said she wasn’t really all for the idea of a strictly “purity” ring. She said that she didn’t want me to be hung up on JUST the purity aspect. She wanted it to be more of a reminder that I am making a promise to both my heavenly and my earthly Father. She didn’t want me to JUST look at it as “don’t have sex before marriage,” but as a reminder of the fact that God is in control of my life, and that He knows what’s best for me. Not just that I’m “waiting” for something. Life isn’t about just waiting for heaven, it’s about learning to love God more and more, and living in a way that pleases Him.
I got one last year, I never really had to ask, but it was moms old ring and just today she told me she wanted me to be able to pick out one, so now I’m going to get a new one!!
I got mine when I turned 13:) I love it. But I would say that a purity ring is about more than sexual purity, because you can still go down a lot of bad roads, even if you don’t have sex before marriage. It’s a heart issue at the core. It’s saying that Jesus is sufficient for you.
That’s exactly what my mom said! There’s a really great article I read which pretty much says the same thing: http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/
This was so good thank you!:)
Thanks for this. I asked my aunt for one because my dad does not want to get me one no matter how many good reasons I have
why don’t you just buy one yourself?
I recently got a purity ring. We were at the fair and there was a Christian jewelry booth, and my dad bought me and my sister one
I bought myself one
it says “True-Love-Waits”
my parents are not Christians and the only person I talked to before getting it was my boyfriend (of over a year)
I’ve wanted one before, but never ended up getting one. I’d ask my parents, but I know they’ll just tell me to buy it myself if I want it. Also, I couldn’t have this conversation with my parents, because my dad’s a jerk and doubts the fact that any teenager could make a decision or commitment to stay pure. He’ll make comments implying that he thinks I’d fool around if someone approached me just because I’m a teenager, and I hate how he doesn’t care how angry that makes me and he never takes me seriously when I’m doing my best to explain myself and tell the truth. Sorry, I’m on a rant right now, ignore me.
Actually, I think my parents are insane if they think I’m going to ask for their advice if I ever meet someone special again.
I went to a bible camp and one of the leaders had a purity ring. She told me a story of how her ring got caught on the playground equiptment and dislocated her finger. I didn’t know it was a purtiy ring at the time and I didn’t understand why she still wore it when it could be dangerous. She then explained to me how it was more than just a ring, that it was a promise to God and to her future husband that she would stay pure until marriage. She’d even got it blessed by Pope John Paul II!
In that short conversation with her I knew I supposed to get one. She probably didn’t know it, but her words changed my life. I believe I was 12 years old then.
My mom was thorougly surprised when I told her about my decision. She’d given me the speech about it not being another pretty piece of metal (not that I’d owned very many or ever wore the ones I did) and I’d begged and pleaded and browsed the selections until she deemed me mature enough to fully accept the commitment.
When we finally went to the Christian store I’d been drawn to a certain design from the beginning -a simple sterling silver ring with a heart and key
http://www.c28.com/products/jewelry-rings-sterling-silver-ladies-heart-ring-key-filigree-161602/?adid=gBase-ProductListingAds&gclid=COiNs8753rICFYQ7MgodtiMAOA
I proudly payed for it with my own money and waited weeks for my ring to come -calling to check so often that I’m sure they were sick of me!
When it finally came I was so happy that I told all of my friends about it. Some people couldn’t believe it while others supported my decision.
Now, at age 17, I can say it was one of the best decisions I’ve made! Some people don’t understand but I’m grateful that God has helped me stay pure for Him and my future husband!
I’ll be able to go to him on our wedding night and give myself to him entirely!
Before I saw this I had no idea what a purity ring was at all. Now I think I’ll ask sometime. See what my parents say about it.
This article truly inspired me
Thank you and God bless! <3
I got my purity ring last year, but did not tell my mom or dad what it was for or what it meant to me. My parents are not as involved in my religous life, as I would like them to be, when I got my ring and wore it to school people asked and people wondered but most supported me and respect my beliefs.
I bought my first when I was 12 at a Christian bookstore 6 months after being baptized. It was not a fancy expensive one or anything, but it made me happy and I loved getting to talk about God when people would ask what it was. I wore it every day for two years and this past Christmas I got a gorgeous diamond one and I love it. To me, it’s not only a testimony of my love for him and my promise to him, but it also right off the back says “If you won’t respect my promise and commitment, then you’re out of my picture.” I think it’s just a cute and wonderful way to have that promise.
Not only that, but I also feel like no matter who I am with it makes them respect me a bit more and it’s an amazing promise to my future husband.