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Love

Should You Tell Your Friend That She’s Losing Her Way?

Friendship is an important part of life, and the friendships we have even impact our spiritual walk of faith. Friends are there for one another in times of happiness, sadness and in the normal everyday aspects of life.

PI readers, do you have a friend who is walking in the wrong direction? Is she doing something that is harmful for her life or faith? Would you confront her to help her, even if it was hard?

It is important to be honest and open as a Christian, and to help your family and friends if they are slipping away from God. It may take boldness to tell them and you even risk them not understanding, but if you truly love them and care about them, you will try and point them back to the right path. This is also known as “tough love.”

If one falls down, his friend can help him up (Ecclesiastes 4:10).

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself or you may also be tempted (Galatians 6:1).

The most important part of helping your friend is to pray for them. Don’t look down on them or be rude about the situation. Self-righteousness and haughtiness are sins, too. The Bible tells us to “gently” restore our friends. We need to walk in love but also in boldness. If you are unsure how to approach your friend or situation, ask God to give you the words, and also tell your friend how much you care before you discuss the matter.

Maybe start by saying, “ I really care about you and I have noticed recently you have been acting different…is everything okay? I want you to know I am here for you. Can I pray for you?” This is a good start!

If a friend is going through a tough season and seems to be acting out, remember to have compassion and patience. Depending on the severity of the situation, you may need to contact an adult for help. It is important to pray for wisdom in dealing with the situation, to be strong and to remember God is with you during this time of difficulty. God has a plan and a purpose, even when we don’t understand or when we cannot figure out why things happen.

Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity (Colossians 3: 12-14).

Sometimes these difficult situations require us to be more filled up with the Spirit. If you are having a hard time, don’t be afraid to ask for prayer, too. You may need to ask for extra wisdom, perseverance and strength.

PI readers, if you have any prayer requests you may leave them below. You don’t need to leave details or names–make sure you respect your friend’s privacy! God bless you all! 

Image: Thinkstock | Comstock

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27 Comments

  1. KirstinMarie97

    Posted by KirstinMarie97 on March 19, 2013 at 16:34

    I have a friend, who this summer was on fire for Christ and wanted to turn her life around. She was doing so well, but now she is slipping away again and going down the wrong path. It’s hard for me to see this. I have tried to talk to her about it but she doesn’t want to hear any of it. Please pray that God would soften her heart and that she would answer His call and let Him back in!

  2. Owllover

    Posted by Owllover on November 13, 2012 at 15:16

    I have a friend who thinks that she is a christin and i haver talked to her she says that she got saved when she was young but she has no christian value. She is ok with divorse, bad language, etc. i dont know what to do!! help?

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by Artist_In_Blue on November 7, 2012 at 17:55

    i have a request for one of my friends. we got in a fight, partially about her lifestyle, which i feel isn’t healthy for her. please pray for her! and for me, so that i may be a good role model for her

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by mandycat96 on November 4, 2012 at 04:09

    I am this friend :/ Please pray for me. I’m in a relationship and even though I tell my self I’m not going to do things I keep doing them! I want to come home to God but I don’t know how to get myself out of this.

  5. chocolaterobin

    Posted by chocolaterobin on October 15, 2012 at 19:35

    Could you please pray for my friend, she is my best friend and she is getting a lot of pride. So much pride that it is hurting people around her including me. I need to confront her but i don’t want to loose my best friend. Please pray. Thank you!

  6. Lexi7

    Posted by Lexi7 on October 14, 2012 at 12:31

    Thanks for this article! I have a friend who I’ve known since preschool, and we hung out a lot for a while… then she moved to Illinois. I did visit her several times, but it feels like she’s slipping away… not that I can tell very easily, but it seems like she’s changed. I miss her, and I miss being a part of her life… but, I just try to remember that it’s part of God’s plan. And we still talk, but it would be sad if we ever stop talking. Will you guys please pray that our relationship stays strong? 🙂

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by fingerprints1122 on October 13, 2012 at 12:34

    Thank you for posting this! My best friend since I was 3, has been doing some changing. And i’m worried about her, because I know she has not been making the best choices. I really needed help on what to do, but now I know. Again thanks 🙂

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by krl5 on October 7, 2012 at 17:12

    I have a friend that hasn’t lost her way from God, in fact, she’s never been closer. But ever since her mom died, she’s started dressing somewhat imodestly. I love her to death, but she’s just changed alot. What could be something to say to her without offending her of how she dresses?

    • Nellie

      Posted by Nellie on October 10, 2012 at 20:43

      Maybe you could try asking your friend if she wants to talk about anything. Just tell her your there if she needs you. I think starting with the basics will help the most at first.

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by Rach on September 28, 2012 at 13:33

    sorry for the repeats!!!

  10. Project Inspired

    Posted by Rach on September 28, 2012 at 13:19

    Please pray for restoration in my relationship with God and others.

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by Rach on September 28, 2012 at 10:11

    I had a disagreement with a friend that I blew out of proportion. I realized I was wrong and apologized. However, we have drifted apart and I have drifted in my relationship with God. Please pray for restoration in my relationship with God and others. Thanks!

  12. Project Inspired

    Posted by daughterofgod on September 25, 2012 at 21:40

    My college friend’s brother who is a senior, a year older than me is slipping away from God. He refuses to go to church because he has been hurt a lot. It breaks my heart because I think of him as a brother. I really want him return to God. I want to see him in heaven. Please help pray!

  13. Project Inspired

    Posted by AndreWife on September 24, 2012 at 14:46

    My friend wants to move in with a guy, she knows it’s wrong. Please pray that God will convict her before she moves in with him.

  14. Project Inspired

    Posted by simplelovelychristian on September 21, 2012 at 23:37

    I actually have a friend who seems to be slipping away from God, but she seems happy, and i want her to be happy with God and not with her boyfriend, what can I do?

    • Silvey

      Posted by Silvey on October 23, 2012 at 19:55

      I have the same problem. just keep praying for your friend and make sure she knows you care about her nefore you try to tell her that she is wrong

  15. Project Inspired

    Posted by cutie465 on September 16, 2012 at 17:42

    i have this friend and she is a Christian (or so she says) but she keeps going around drinking, partying, having sex, and doing all these sins plus so many more. I know that she is more than the mistakes she is making so im still here for her but she is taking me along and im falling into these temptations. I don’t know how to tell her that she is going down the path that God has not set out for her

  16. ruthie27064Him

    Posted by ruthie27064Him on September 8, 2012 at 17:18

    Thank you for this! Please pray for me and my sister, our best friend is going the wrong way.

  17. IdaPahus

    Posted by IdaPahus on September 7, 2012 at 02:06

    Please pray for me, because I need to choose what I’m going to do next year, when I have finished school, and I am not sure what God wants me to do…

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Kathrie on September 7, 2012 at 16:24

      IdaPahus, it has been said that if you are looking for people God wants you to help, look at your heart. Look at the needy people suffering from all kinds of things. There are A LOT of different people you can help (cancer, homeless, etc.). Just ask yourself,” What breaks my heart?” If it’s people getting bullied, consider asking God what action you should take against that. Or children with deadly illnesses. You should also maybe ask God to open your heart to everything to help you to know what to do.

      If that kind of a thing is not what you are looking for and you are looking for a career, think about your gifts, not just your talent-gifts, your gift-gifts. What kind of things has God put in your life more than others? Is he hinting at something with the gifts he is giving you everyday? Figuring out what God wants you to do can be a puzzle sometimes. You have to find all the pieces.

      Remember, God will not let you fall. Even if school ends and you still haven’t found all the pieces yet, he will still take care of you.

      Ask him to open your eyes to all the spiritual things you can’t see with normal eyes. That is what I would do.

      I’m wondering if he wants me to be a Paramedic or a Christian author or both because I have always been a daydreamer and writing has been something I was raised on. I’ve also discovered that in dangerous situations, instead of freaking out I would get this really smooth voice sometimes and I would focus on taking action (like when my little cousin fell off the top of a slide and fell on his head….).

      Think about moments in your life or events that have happened. Could they be clues too?

      • Nellie

        Posted by Nellie on October 10, 2012 at 20:41

        thank you kathrie for your awesome comment!! i was actually a little confused on things like that too! You helped!

        And also, there are these people i started sitting at with luch, mostly because they sat near me and all my friends have a different lunch period. But they kinda seem like they aren’t on the best path that God has laid out for them, and so i have been praying for them. I am hoping that if im there God might use me to bring His light to them. Pray for them and for me to find the right words if that time ever comes. Which i hope it does, even though I’d be really nervous too!

  18. Paris

    Posted by Paris on September 6, 2012 at 23:10

    We are the light of the world,so we are supposed to care about those living in sin,espcially friends and family! I’d like a prayer to for a bad habit to be lifited off of me. Love you guys!

  19. cococookies

    Posted by cococookies on September 6, 2012 at 14:19

    oh my gosh THANK YOU for this article! I have been worried about my best friend who seems to be hanging around the wrong kind of people and acting a little weird. I really care about her because I have known her since 1st grade and we are in the 8th grade now. please pray for her and me so God can give me the words to speak 🙂

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by fingerprints1122 on October 13, 2012 at 12:41

      cococookies, I can really relate to this. (I also have a good friend whom I’ve known since I was 3. Shes been hanging around the wrong people too.)I’ll be praying for you and your friend!

  20. jessicarose

    Posted by jessicarose on September 6, 2012 at 11:49

    This is so good! Especially considering the fact that one of my best friends has become so consumed in Hollywood and I know that any day now she’s gonna break and fall apart. So, if you could pray for wisdom for me that I would know what to do when this happens. I would ask you to pray that this would never happen but I know it will. She’s way too far into this whole thing to just bounce out without getting hurt. So, please pray!

  21. olburrows

    Posted by olburrows on September 6, 2012 at 11:41

    I would greatly appreciate prayer for a continual sin I’m committing. Thanks! 🙂

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by cutie465 on September 16, 2012 at 17:56

      I have been in the sin cycle where this one sin is continuously causing me to stumble its not a fun cycle to be stuck in. What I did to help me out was I when I talked to a friend about it and completely opened up to her. She really encouraged me and became my accountability partner to help me out of the cycle. Do you have a friend that you could talk to about this sin? If you would like to talk I’m here praying for you!