posted on May 26, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Earlier today I was praying to God outside in the warm sun, (it’s a gorgeous day!) and I asked Him what I could write about today that will help you girls. I felt a whispering in my heart to write an article on why you should remain pure to have sex. I believe this is God’s way of reminding you how special you are to Him.
I’m also writing this because I didn’t wait until marriage to have sex.
I was in high school, and I believed in order to be cool and popular, I needed a boyfriend which meant I had to have sex, too. I based my identity on my outward appearance, and if boys thought I was attractive.
I only realize now how empty I was, and that the one person I needed most was God to fulfill my heart instead. When you’re a teenager, it’s all too easy to think you’re “in love” with a boy, when in reality you don’t know what real love is yet. In order to find the perfect man you know you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with, you need to grow up more and establish your identity on who you are and what you stand for. In order to find the perfect man who deserves you, you need to fully accept and love yourself first, or else you’ll compromise on settling with “Mr. Right Now” and perhaps offer sex in order to please him.
It’s an unfortunate fact that most boys use young women like you solely for their own pleasure and benefit. Teenage boys aren’t looking to “settle down” and many times are just looking for the girl they can easily get into bed. Many of them try to prove to themselves that they can sway a girl into having sex with them, in order to brag to their buddies and see how many girls they can get into the sack.
Please don’t be one of them, and please don’t toss yourself around like you don’t matter. Girls who have sex quickly and “put out,” often have a reputation as being “easy” and aren’t respected as much. It’s sad but true. Young boys will try to say whatever they can to you in order for them to seduce you into bed, such as “You’re the only girl for me,” “I love you,” “I’ve never felt like this before,” “I won’t tell anybody,” or “Let’s go out.” Please don’t be fooled by their language.
A boy who truly cares about you and respects your feelings and values will like you even more if you wait to have sex till your married, and if he doesn’t- his bad character will shine right through his seductive language. Even Christian guys fall victim to this type of behavior, and don’t think just because they believe in God they won’t do this to you as well. Your worth is immeasurable, you deserve the best.
It’s especially hard right now because never before in history have messages about sex been so saturated in the media. It seems like every song on the radio or TV show is telling women they need to have sex with any man that gives her attention. Don’t ignore that inner voice that’s telling you to wait and to say no, because that’s God whispering to you. When you feel tempted, pray to God to give you a way out. Remember this powerful scripture that God speaks to us regarding this issue:
“God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.”
When a girl sleeps with a boy too soon, she often feels used and hurt because he took a little piece of her soul. If only I knew this scripture when I was in high school:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23.
You may wonder to yourself, “What’s the big deal about waiting till I’m married? Lot’s of people do it!”
I can’t stress enough how important it is to remain abstinent, for several reasons. The first is that once you have casual sex with just any boy, you’re 10x more likely to continue doing so with multiple people until you’re actually married to the right one. God created your beautiful body with special care and love, He designed you to me matched perfectly with your future spouse. So don’t spoil the surprise! You may feel alone and sad without a boy, but focus on your relationship with Jesus. He says to you, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.”
He will ALWAYS listen to you, he hears your thoughts, knows what’s in your heart, and loves you infinitely more than any man will ever love you! Please print this article out and put it by your bed, or in your journal, or read it any time you feel tempted to have sex. I Promise you, you will never regret it if you wait. It’s not like it’s forever!
God says to you:
“My daughter, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life and those who find them and health to a woman’s whole body.” Proverbs 4:20-22.
Have you been tempted by a boy to have sex before marriage?