The Internet is loaded with articles about dating. Some tell you how to get into a relationship; others tell you how to end one. Still more advise you on how to flirt or how to know if he’s into you. But what secular blog posts can’t tell you is the difference between an average boy and a godly man.
If you were raised in the church, you’ve probably heard that you should “only date a Christian”—that you should not be “unequally yoked.” Have you ever wondered why? Well, here it is: Those articles on Thought Catalog are fun, but unless a man knows God, he has no outer accountability for how he treats women. He also has no objective definition for love.
That’s why it’s important to date a guy who truly loves the Lord. When a man knows Jesus personally, he’ll understand the value God places on women. Any love he shows will reflect the honor that characterizes the love of God.
How do you distinguish a boy from a godly man? Here are ten ways to tell.
- A boy thinks being a Christian is about appearance: just going to church, not swearing or partying, and generally being “good.” A godly man knows that following Christ is a lifestyle, and that a changed life only happens when you seek God on a daily basis.
- A boy treats you well only while it benefits him. A godly man treats you well because you are made in the image of God, and he will be held accountable by Christ Himself for the honor he shows you.
- A boy uses “love” to push for sex. A godly man knows that true love is based on sacrifice and commitment—even if it means sacrificing sexual desires for where they belong: in marriage.
- A boy has no respect for authority and jokes about rebellion. A godly man respects the people God has put in authority over him and sets an example of submission to God, parents and employers.
- A boy doesn’t bother to seek God through His Word, His church or His people. A godly man seeks God through all these sources because he is teachable and willing to learn.
- A boy will ask you to dress seductively. A godly man will ask you to honor your value, respect your body and uphold sexual purity in how you dress.
- A boy will feed your insecurities and manipulate your fears. A godly man will point you to the security you have in Christ. He will encourage you to root your identity in God, and only speak things over you that are gracious and encouraging.
- A boy will mock what is good and delight in what is evil. A godly man will be turned off by what is disgusting, crass or sinful, and will pursue what is good, honorable and pure.
- A boy will leave you wondering where you stand in the relationship. A godly man will make his intentions known (albeit sometimes slowly, because he’ll think about it!). He won’t play with your heart, but will be honest and careful with your emotions.
- A boy will never be changed by you. A godly man will be continually changed by God into a better version of himself—and a better partner for you.
Are you the kind of woman who’s walking worthy of a man like this? A godly man will be looking for a godly woman. Be that woman by seeking Jesus, allowing His Spirit to lead you into a life of honor and love. Then keep your eyes open, be discerning and know the difference between a boy and a man.