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10 Rules for Online Dating as a Christian Girl

In a perfect world, every Christian girl would meet her God-given man in some dramatic, straight-out-of-a-Disney-movie scenario. Unfortunately, this isn’t quite reality for anyone…except, of course, Cinderella!

For the rest of us hopeless romantics, we can either wait to meet our Prince Charming in person or explore alternative options, like online dating. If you’ve ever tried online dating or are considering taking a stab at it, here are 10 rules you should follow to get the best out of your experience.

1. Do your research. There are lots of options out there. A lot! Some dating sites, like ChristianMingle, are great. Others, like Tinder, should be avoided at ALL COSTS! Seriously—steer clear. Tinder is like that dark, hyena-filled territory to which Mufasa warned Simba never to go.

Before settling on a dating site (or two), do your research, test out a few free sites and find out which ones best fit your needs.

2. Pick the best picture of you. Your online profile picture is EVERYTHING. It provides a sneak preview to your potential suitor and invites him to visit your page to learn more. Yes, it’s a bit superficial, but that’s the nature of online dating.

3. Avoid revealing too much. Since we’re on the topic of photos, it’s important to select images that will attract the right type of man. If your pictures are too revealing, you’ll definitely get a lot of attention. However, it will more than likely be from the wrong type of guy.

As a general rule of thumb, it’s best to select pictures that capture you in your best light and provide an indication of what you like to do for fun.

4. Complete your profile. Put thought into filling out the information in your profile. Contrary to popular belief, guys DO read it! So, take your time with it and include all those details that make you special. If you have an irrational obsession with mini-ponies or if you’ve traveled the world, have fun with it! These facts will spark curiosity and give these guys a real reason to send that first message.

5. Google is your friend. One of the downsides of online dating is that guys (and girls) have the luxury of lying about anything and everything. They’ll lie about their height, their education and even their name! The quickest way to get to the truth is by asking your good friend Google. Although it’s not a foolproof way of spotting lies, it may help you determine whether you’re meeting up with the man you pictured or, well…not.

Seriously, girls. Google! It’s your friend.

6. Reach out. Many women approach online dating thinking that guys should do ALL the work. Wrong! This is the 21st century! If you come across a guy who piques your interest, it’s totally okay to reach out first to get the ball rolling.

7. Be honest. Christians understand the importance of telling the truth, and this rule definitely deserves a place here. Please, please, please tell the truth in your profile. It doesn’t help to lie or to withhold important information. For example, if you’re 4’6″, don’t write that you’re 5’3″. Upon meeting you, your suitor will see right away that you’ve told a fib and any hopes of a meaningful relationship will fly out the window.

Your best bet is to be as honest as possible. God has placed a special guy out there who will love every inch of you. There’s no need to stretch the truth (no pun intended!).

8. Make your religious beliefs known. As a Christian girl, religion plays a major role in your life. Ideally, you’ll want to attract a guy who, at the very least, respects your devotion to the Lord. As such, you shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to proclaim your love for Him on your profile. So, say it loud: “I love the Lord and I’m proud!”

9. Exchange numbers. When the moment happens and you meet a really great guy, don’t hesitate to exchange numbers. The best way to really get to know a person is by talking to them on the phone. And, if possible, try to go with a real telephone conversation (remember those?!) instead of texting. Yeah, it’s super old-school, but you’ll learn so much more by listening to his voice.

10. Meet in person. When it’s time to take things offline and finally meet in person, you’ll know. To ensure your safety (and, to be fair, his as well), suggest meeting in a very public, well-lit location (e.g., Starbucks or a local restaurant). Also, if possible, avoid meeting for the first time at night.

Essentially, use your common sense. Don’t do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. If you’ve picked out a good one, he’ll be more than understanding of your concerns.

Bonus rule:

11. Have fun. Stay true to yourself and to your values, and just have fun with the process!

SPECIAL NOTE: Not sure if online dating is for you? Talk to your parents, a family member or close mentors about your interest in joining a dating network. Give them an opportunity to voice their support or express their concerns —especially if you are new to the dating scene. 

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3 Comments

  1. Remedy

    Posted by Remedy on January 10, 2015 at 13:57

    I’ve been in multiple online relationships, and I would personally never recommend it, especially for a Christian girl. None of the relationships turned out well for me. Kudos to those that have gotten their relationships to work. It is definitely possible, just very difficult from my experiences. It’s natural as a Christian girl to have different views and morals from the person you meet online. One of my biggest tips would be to make your views clear from the beginning. That way they know what to expect and respect you for. Otherwise, your relationship will go too far in some way, whether that’s sexually (And yes, that’s possible online), emotionally, or even to the point of you making the person a false god. Just be very mindful and remember who you live for, but also remember to respect the other person’s beliefs and love them. Also, i wouldn’t recommend dating sites….. The guys I dated I met while playing online games. It kinda makes things easier because you’re already doing something you’re both interested in and it’s not as awkward as visiting a profile because you just talk to people naturally while playing games.

  2. vsmith21

    Posted by vsmith21 on January 9, 2015 at 18:08

    I DON’T recommende Christian Mingle. I tried the free version and you can’t interact with anyone beyond preselected “flirts” or whatever they’re called, so you can’t get to know them beyond what’s written in their profile. You can’t write them giving them a way to actually talk to you outside of the website. It’s also a really complex interface that I don’t like at all. If you’re willing to pay the hefty price for a shot in the dark then go ahead. Personally I’d rather go with the completely free sites and work a little harder to find the Christian guys and immediately be able to chat with them, than pay money I don’t have for exclusively Christian guys that may or may not decide I’m worth talking to. OKCupid, plenty of fish, and eVow are the only websites I’d ever recommend for online dating because they are truly free and you don’t have to go through anything just to talk to someone, and it’s easy to search for people. Yes there are upgrades you can pay for but IMO none of the upgrades I’ve read through are worth paying for. OKCupid IMO is the number 1 because they have a huge database of compatibility questions, so you can automatically filter through people based on your match % so it’s easier to find the ones who are serious about their faith and finding a relationship. You can also filter out whose messages appear in your inbox by their match % so if you don’t want to consider anyone with less than 80% match they won’t show up in your inbox.

  3. SpicePrincess

    Posted by SpicePrincess on January 9, 2015 at 01:35

    I love this.
    I’ve never been one for online dating, but since my work(digital art) is posted on the internet and it’s a constant favorite in my life, I gave it a try. I met my current boyfriend online and it’s the best thing that’s happened to me….relationship-wise.

    He’s a saved Pentecostal guy and pretty much loves the same things I do. He tries to remember to always put God first and respects me well.
    Funny enough we didn’t meet on Christian Mingle, eHarmony, or anything….we met on OKCupid…pretty much an overgrown bacteria farm. I was on the site to talk to my friend’s brother(she was trying to hook us up and that was how we could talk..but it didnt work out). As for my guy….he says he was just curious to see if anything would happen and he figured nothing would until I messaged him a few years after he had joined. We talked via the chat system on the website, then we started talking on Skype (not video chatting…just typing). About 3 or 4 months in we started talking on the phone and then met in person (with his family and my own present) and went on a few dates to nice but busy places. Now it’s been almost a year since we’ve known each other (it will be a year in feb) and I’ve loved every minute of our friendship and entering courtship.

    Anyway, my point is, you never know what God is going to use to get you where you’re going. As a christian girl i would not ever recommend joining OKCupid, but you get my point lol